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30April   {Fashion Flash}
Fashion Flash time! This week, it's hosted by Fabulous Over Forty, a blog with practical insights on maintaining your beauty sans surgery. The brilliant blog is researched and written by FOF beauty blogger Kari Solyntjes. Check out her amazing advice and enjoy all the other links from our fab Fashion Flash friends.

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25April   {FOF Book Critic} The Best Memoirs of the Year (so far!)


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Are you a memoir junkie like we are? Then tuck into these top picks from FOF book reviewer Linda Wolfe. Plus, enter to win them all when you answer this question in the comments below: What’s your favorite memoir of all time?

Lately there’s been chatter in the publishing circles I inhabit about memoirs being difficult to sell; one editor even told me emphatically, “The age of the memoir is over.”  What?  Most of the women I know love reading memoirs. They may be harder for publishers and editors to market nowadays, but so too are all kinds of other books, what with bookstores disappearing faster than endangered animals, and self-published books making editors themselves an endangered species. But let’s not pick on the memoir. Those of us who like to read will always be captivated by well-told personal stories of love and loss, divorce and death, the triumph over illness or abusive rearing. So I want to say to my editor friends, keep those memoirs coming!
Here are four fascinating ones I’ve read in recent weeks:

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ONCE UPON A SECRET by Mimi Alford.  Random House.  198 pages.

You probably saw Mrs. Alford on television.  She was on every talk show imaginable: a discreetly dressed woman in her sixties, with a soft voice and unprepossessing manner.  But back in 1962, still in high school – she attended Miss Porter’s prep school, the same school as Jackie Kennedy – she landed a summer job as a White House intern.  On her fourth day at work she was invited to join a small group of the president’s special friends for a lunchtime swim in the White House pool. Kennedy turned up while Alford was swimming, liked what he saw, and invited her for a tour of the residence that evening. It was an evening that would shape – and scar -- the entire rest of her life. The preppie Alford was not just sexually inexperienced, she was a virgin. She’d been kissed only once in her life, back in eighth grade, and despite her pretty, Waspy looks, suffered from a severe case of low self-esteem.  She’d had no boyfriends throughout highschool, had been anorexic at seventeen, and had always felt anxious and somehow undesirable.
{Click here to read the complete review!}

When Kennedy took her into the absent Jackie’s bedroom and plumped her down on Jackie’s bed, she wasn’t quite sure what was about to happen, but she knew for sure that she suddenly felt very special.  The President of the United States wanted her.  She didn’t protest as he pushed his way into her. She was feeling, she writes, “the thrill of being desired.”

Alford remained a sexual toy of Kennedy’s until, during her first year of college, she met and became engaged to a boy her own age. Naively believing couples should be completely open with one another, she told her suitor about her affair with the president. He said he still wanted to marry her, but he made the harsh demand that she never say another word about the affair, not to anyone. They married, and Alford kept the secret. But it poisoned her life, making her feel emotionally distant from everyone she knew, and turning the marriage into a punishing and arid relationship.  After many years of feeling her secret as a scourge destroying her from within, she did begin telling a few close friends about her relationship with Kennedy.  But they kept her secret, too, and she never admitted the affair publicly, even after her marriage ended in divorce.  It was widely rumored that Kennedy had had an affair with a young White House intern, but who she went unknown, until historian Robert Dallek unearthed Alford’s identity and revealed it in a 2004 biography of Kennedy. After that exposure, and after finding a new husband who didn’t think her youthful indiscretion shameful, she decided to talk about her long-held secret – hence this book. And in letting go of the secret, she claims to have found at last some modicum of inner peace.

The details of the affair are engrossing and often shocking. And the book has a rare authenticity.  It doesn’t sound ghostwritten. Alford’s voice is her own: gentle, modest, and self-revelatory.

When the author was interviewed on TV some of her young interviewers were critical of her for having succumbed to the advances of a much older man. Didn’t she feel abused? Alford’s response was no, that his attentions made her feel important.

I felt the young interviewers just didn’t get it. They’ve grown up in a different time, a time when women feel outraged at the thought of an older and more powerful man attempting to seduce a younger powerless female.  And seem to expect said female to feel outraged, too.  But Alford’s time was my time, too.  And I can assure you that if the charming, handsome and powerful Jack Kennedy had wanted to make love to me, I’d have done just what Alford did.  And felt just the way she did.

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INTIMATE WARS by Merle Hoffman, The Feminist Press.  267 pages,
How you feel about Intimate Wars will depend entirely on how you feel about a woman’s right to choose whether and when to bear a child. Hoffman is the director of a prominent New York abortion clinic she opened at the age of twenty-five--two years before Roe v. Wade--which she is still running today, forty-one years later. Strong-willed, outspoken and fearless, Hoffman has fought in all the battles over reproductive rights that have tormented our times since the day dangerous, unsanitary and cruel back-alley abortions, were supplanted through U.S. law by safe abortions performed in clean, accountable, professionally-staffed medical clinics. Hoffman has been a hero in these battles, and a crusader in other women’s health issues as well, like the need for affordable mammography for all women. I say hero deservedly; Hoffman has faced down innumerable bomb-threats; opened hate mail that contained deadly powders; and learned to shoot a gun in order to protect not just herself but her many employees from threatened attacks.
{Click here to read the complete review!}

What makes a woman so brave?  Gaining insight into this question was one of the chief pleasures of this frank book. From the time she was a child, Hoffman always identified with the heroes and heroines of myth and history. “I was Sir Lancelot, resplendent on a white caparisoned horse,” she tells us. “I was Elizabeth I, exhorting her troops to fight the Spanish Armada at Tillbury....I was Sir Gawain the Pure, searching for the Holy Grail. I stormed the ramparts as Joan if Arc...rode with Amazon women.”  She tells us, too, after grraduating from high school, where she’d been something of a musical prodigy, she wondered “where would I find the greatness I sought?  On what set?  I knew that any kind of well-traveled path would not be the path for me” Hoffman tried acting, taking theater lessons with the hopes of doing Shakespearean roles on stage.  She tried painting, studying at the distinguished Art Students League.  And she searched for higher meaning by dabbling in religions, exploring Catholicism and Christian Science.  But none of her experiences, she tells us, “satisfied my quest for meaning.”  She had been, she writes, “preparing for battle my whole life.  I had no way of knowing that a movement, a history, a war was waiting for me.  But I was ready.”

The discovery of the set on which she would make her mark came about accidentally.   Needing a job to augment her dilettantish pursuits, she took a part-time position as office assistant to Dr. Martin Gold, a  New York physician specializing in family care. In 1971, when abortion was legalized in New York, Gold opened one of the state’s first ambulatory abortion facilities and, feeling that a woman should be its public face, asked Hoffman to run his new clinic.  Accepting, Hoffman realized that she was about to be “on the front lines of an exciting, pioneering new era of medicine....longing for a great stage to act upon, I was ready to throw myself into creating a new world.  Now was the time– this was my hour.”

Hoffman can be grandiose. But she’s refreshingly open, no secrets this woman; she tells us that she and the married Gold were lovers. She tells us that they remained so for many years, until eventually he divorced his wife and married her. They had no children--he already had some, and she didn’t want any.  But long after his death, Hoffman realized, at the age of fifty-eight, that what was missing from her embattled life was a child. A year later she adopted a three-year-old Russian girl, and discovered the intense joys of motherhood.

Has raising a child altered her commitment to providing abortions?  Not at all.  It has simply strengthened her dedication to helping women experience those joys only when they want and are ready to do so.

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WHY BE HAPPY WHEN YOU COULD BE NORMAL? By Jeanette Winterson, Grove Press. 250 pages.

Jeanette Winterson’s best-selling 1985 autobiographical novel, Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit, told the story of her adoption as an infant by a fanatical born-again Pentecostal Christian who saw evidences of Satan in the tiny child.  Trying to alter her nature and destroy her spirit, her mother, who she refers to as “Mrs. W.”, punishes her for the slightest infraction of rules.  She is not just beaten, or sent to bed hungry, but sometimes even locked in the basement coal bin or made to spend the night outdoors on the front stoop. When the pre-teen Winterson falls in love with books, her mother burns them.  And when she is a teenager and her mother learns she is attracted to women, she is forced to undergo a cruel and frightening church exorcism. Winterson survived Mrs. W., left home at fifteen, started working, managed against all odds to attend a local college and then Oxford University, and ultimately went on to write Oranges--which has become a classic of lesbian literature--and several other books.
{Click here to read the complete review!}

At the time Oranges was published, Winterson, then in her late-twenties, was full of rage toward her adoptive mother.  Now fifty-two years-old, and in a relationship with a nurturing partner, she has taken the same material and written an altogether different book.  A forgiving one.  “Mrs. W.,” she tells us, ”was huge, she filled the phone booth.  She was out of scale, larger than life....Only later, much later, did I understand how small she was to herself.  The baby nobody picked up. The uncarried child still inside her.”  Winterson has come to understand that cruel people are those who themselves have been cruelly treated.  It doesn’t make cruelty better. But it makes it comprehensible.

Winterson has also come to see that the ordeals she endured at her adoptive mother’s hands have played a role in the achievements of her life.  Remembering the burning of her books incident, she writes that what the books held “could not be so easily destroyed. What they held was already inside me, and together we would get away.” More, as she regarded the  smouldering pile of paper and type, she had an epiphany: “There was something else I could do. ‘Fuck it’, I thought, ‘I can write my own.’”

The author’s undauntable personality manifests itself throughout this powerful book, which culminates in her search for her birth mother. With increasing suspense, she tracks her identity and whereabouts, and ultimately the pair is reunited. Her mother turns out to be a kindly motherly woman, as happy to meet Winterson as Winterson is to meet her. Winterson likes the woman she finally meets. But regretfully, she realizes that the reunion has come too late; she can never be the happier person she might have been had she been raised by her genial birth mother.  She is Mrs. W’s creature. And, she speculates, that has made her into the strong, successful woman she is now. Indeed, when her birth mother, learning of her child’s unhappy rearing, condemns Mrs. W.,  Winterson finds that, “I hate Ann’s criticizing Mrs. Winterson. She was a monster, but she was my monster.”

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FIERCE JOY by Ellen Schecter.  Greenpoint Press.  2012

In her late thirties, Ellen Schecter, married, and the mother of two small children, began experiencing pain in various parts of her body. Her left foot felt numb, her fingers tingled, her ears ached, she saw white flashes in one of her eyes. The pain was so cosmic and so difficult to pin down that she sometimes thought it might be a figment of her imagination, that she might be a hypochondriac or a hysteric. But after two years of trying to ignore the ever-increasing anguish colonizing her body, she and her husband finally sought medical attention and a diagnosis.  What she had turned out to be not in her head at all, but systemic lupus marked by inflammation of her peripheral nerves. The disease is progressive. The commonly used treatment – heavy doses of steroids – failed to slow its march through the corridors of her body.  And Schecter proceeds to fight her deterioration with every scrap of will and humor she can muster. Fierce Joy is the story of this courageous woman and her battles to maintain her spirits even while she was losing not her nerve, never her nerve, but her nerves.
{Click here to read the complete review!}

“I push down my terror, grit my teeth, and keep marching,” she tells us about a day early in her struggle.  “Am I trying to elude my worst nightmares about the future?  You bet. Am I trying to pretend It isn’t taking over my body?  Absolutely. I suspect I’m like a kitten I once had – she hid her head in a paper bag and thought no one could see her.”

At this time, she was working part-time at the Bank Street College of Education and writing children’s book and scripts.  Refusing to let her illness cut off her possibilities, she takes a full-time job at the college. And she becomes, she tells us, “a whore in search of any potential for healing, Eastern or Western, as long as it doesn’t endanger the traditional medical options I need.”  In some of the book’s lighter sections, she describes her encounters with meditation, support groups, the laying on of hands conducted by a founder of a major New York church’s health and healing program, and her sessions with a noted physician who uses hypnosis and trance work to help severely ill patients deal with their diseases and the side-effects of their treatments.  Dr. Casell assists Schecter  in coming to terms with her illness by accepting it, by mourning her losses instead of denying them, “palpating the dimensions of my rage instead of burying it.” On a day she finally allows herself to do this, she is “suddenly but unmistakenly flooded with a fierce joy that simply will not allow me to be dragged down into that deep Pit, but instead pushes me up and into the light.” Indeed, she refuses to be dragged down; when she becomes too ill to continue working full time, she sets herself the goal of learning Hebrew and studying the Torah. Wherever Schecter goes and whatever she tries, she meets helpers and friends along the way, people who smooth her way, and soften the sad sharp edges of this tale.

You’ll like this brave woman, who can laugh through her tears, and make us laugh too. I have one caveat.  The book ends abruptly in the year 2000, leaving one to wonder what’s happened to Schecter in the past twelve  years. Presumably she spent a lot of that time working on the writing of this book.  But I wish she’d told us more about these years, and how she’s been coping of late.  It’s a criticism, but one I doubt I’d be making if she hadn’t made me feel close to and concerned for her.

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FOF Linda Wolfe is the award-winning author of 10 books and a 12-year veteran of the National Book Critics Circle.

Enter to win all four memoirs--your spring/summer reading list!--when you answer this comment in the questions below: What’s your favorite memoir of all time?
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23April   {Giveaway} Hot Girls Pearls

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FOF Connie Sherman is giving away a "cooling" Hot Girls Pearl Necklace and travel purse. Enter to win by answering in the comments below: Do you own a set of pearls?

When FOF Connie Sherman turned 47, her doctor found “questionable cells” in her breast tissue and put her on Tamoxifen. The medication came with an unpleasant side effect--frequent, agonizing hot flashes. “I’d literally come home and stick my head in the freezer,” says FOF Connie Sherman, now in her sixties.

Two years ago, still heated about her hot flashes--Connie began to think about out-of-the-box solutions. A former creative director in NYC for Harper's Bazaar, Vogue and Bloomingales, fashion was always on Connie’s mind. “I wanted something I could wear, that would actually do something about the heat,” says Connie. “And I’m not talking about a bandana.” She got to work on a prototype for Hot Girls Pearls, jewelry made from beads filled with the same non-toxic icy gel that’s in medical ice packs.

Last June, when she was satisfied with her prototype, Connie rolled out her Hot Girls Pearls necklace in three sizes (16”, 18” and 19.5”) and a bracelet. More recently, she has added two new colors to her line: gunmetal and dusty pink. Her pearls start at $30.

Connie’s cool jewelry has proven a hot commodity--they’ve been featured on ABC’s The View, The Today Show and in Oprah’s O Magazine. Connie estimates she’s sold 5,000 Hot Girls Pearls in less than a year. “There’s not one woman who doesn’t sigh in relief when they put them on,” says Connie.

Enter to win a Hot Girls Pearl Necklace and travel purse invented by FOF Connie Sherman by answering in the comments below: Do you own a set of pearls?

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One FOF will win. See all our past winners, here.) (See official rules, here.) Contest closes May 3, 2012 at midnight E.S.T.

Thank you for entering. This contest is now closed.
23April   {Fashion Flash}
It's Fashion Flash time! This week it's hosted by health and beauty author Deb Chase, the woman behind The No-Nonsense Beauty Blog.  Learn how to curb the signs of aging from this former research dermatologist, and enjoy all the other links from our fab Fashion Flash friends.

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19April   {Money} Big dream, small budget? That’s okay.


Meet 3 FOFs who have used a clever online tool to raise thousands of dollars and fund their dreams.


How it works: Kickstarter is a website where individuals can raise money based on the crowd-funding model. Instead of taking an idea to angel investors or venture capital firms, Kickstarter members share their dream projects with the general public for funding. A fundraising campaign can last up to 60 days, and a “backer” can opt to pledge anywhere from $1 to $10,000. The money is not collected unless the goal is met by campaign’s deadline.

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FOF Jane Jensen, Computer Game Designer


Kickstarter project: Moebius, the first adventure computer and tablet game from Jane’s new studio, Pinkerton Road.
Goal: $300,000
Funds pledged so far: $193,824 (at the time this article was published)
Days left of her campaign: 30



Moebius Concept Image

FOF Jane Jensen, a veteran computer game designer, is best known for her adventure game, Gabriel Knight: Sins of the Fathers, published in 1993 by Sierra On-Line. The game was named “Adventure Game of the Year” by Computer Gaming World magazine and was a huge commercial success. Jane went on to publish two more games in the Gabriel Knight series. Then, doom struck--literally and figuratively. "Doom, "a first-person “shooter” game, was also released in 1993 and “basically the whole industry moved in that direction and everyone said, ‘adventure games are dead,’” says Jane. “Sierra On-Line shut down their line dedicated to this genre.”

Jane has spent the last ten years working on “hidden object” games. “It hasn’t been super satisfying.” says Jane. “It’s been my dream to get back into adventure games.” This past year she took a first step when she opened her own Pennsylvania-based adventure game studio, Pinkerton Road.


Jane's farm, where Pinkerton Road, her new adventure game studio, is located.


“I reached a point in my life where I decided I didn’t want someone else telling me what I should be doing,” says Jane. “I have fifteen years left to make an impact in this industry.” To fund production of her studio’s first game, Jane launched a Kickstarter campaign on April 5. In just 13 days, backers have pledged $193,814. (Jane says the majority of them are strangers). Jane’s project has been promoted as a "Project of the Day" in a Kickstarter e-mail, which she says has been instrumental to her success. She’s also worked very actively to keep the momentum up by answering hundreds of e-mails each day from backers and posting new video updates. “It’s practically a full-time job,” says Jane. She has thirty days left to raise a total of $300,000. Follow her project’s progress or pledge a donation, here.

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FOF Donna Guthrie, Documentarian
Kickstarter project: The Wedding Gown Project
Goal: $11,500--met on April 17, 2012!



A still from "The Wedding Gown Project."

FOF Donna Guthrie devoted her career to short films and documentaries. She co-founded both the Rocky Mountain Women’s Film Festival and The Six Women Playwriting Festival; and she founded Meet Me at the Corner, video field trips for kids. However, she has never produced a documentary of her own or fulfilled her lifelong dream to enter a film festival.

Last year she set out to make her own film by traveling around the country and interviewing women about the stories behind their wedding gowns. “I wanted to find some universal conversation women can have. Every woman has a story about her wedding dress,” says Donna.



Donna had enough money to film the interviews and produce a Kickstarter trailer but still needed money to produce the documentary. She had known about Kickstarter and even backed about ten Kickstarter projects, including an umbrella company and a movie about monopoly. “If I think it’s a good idea I’ll put $10 towards it just for their darn creativity,” she says. “I like the idea of giving a hand up instead of a hand out.” Last month, Donna launched her own Kickstarter page to raise $11,500 for production of her film. “I wrote a letter to friends and they passed it along; sent out an e-mail; blogged about it; my kids posted about it on their Facebook...It was a challenge,” she says. The hard work paid off--on Wednesday, April 17, she met her goal. A combination of “friends and strangers” pledged $11,540 ($40 over what she had requested). Now, it’s off to the editing room for Donna.

Find out more about the Wedding Gown Project, here.

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FOF Anna Donahue, sculpture artist
Kickstarter project: “Face Me” kinetic sculpture
Goal: $2,500--met on September 14, 2011!


Anna's "Face Me" kinetic sculpture.

FOF Anna Donahue is a Michigan-based interior designer who is passionate about sculpting. Each year, for the past three years, she has entered ArtPrize, an art contest in Grand Rapids, Michigan with a grand prize of $200,000.

In early 2011, Anna submitted an idea for a 6-foot-tall sculpture made from salvaged metal that moves upon human touch. The sculpture was meant to represent the loss of physical human interaction with modern technology. ArtPrize accepted her entry, at which point Anna realized she needed to raise money in order to create her sculpture.


Anna at the scrap yard where she salvaged metal for her sculpture.


With less than two months until ArtPrize, Anna launched a 45-day Kickstarter campaign. In the end, her goal of $2,500 was met, with most of the donations coming from friends and friends of friends (although she estimates that 20% of the money came from strangers.)

She didn’t win ArtPrize 2011, but her sculpture sold. “That was huge,” says Anna. “The whole purpose was to get my name out there, and overall, I think I was successful.”

Find out more about Anna’s sculpture, Face Me, here.

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Two more FOFabulous Kickstarter projects you should know about:

SuperHairoine children’s TV series by FOF Irene Smalls
43 days left to raise $19,950 (at the time this article was published)

Children’s book author (Jonathan and His Mommy, 1992, Little Brown and Company) and FOF, Irene Smalls is in the process of developing a children’s television series based on a “hairoine” named Rin whose hair is her superpower. “Hair is something that women agonize over,” says Irene. “I thought, let me turn this on it’s head and make hair a source of empowerment.”

Body Memories coffee table book by FOF Susan Falkman
14 days left to raise $4,516 (at the time this article was published)

A friend’s breast cancer diagnosis and eventual mastectomy inspired FOF Susan Falkman, a sculpture artist, to carve a marble breast as a gift for her friend. From there, Susan carved 28 similar marble sculptures which became a traveling exhibition. Now, she is raising the money to print a coffee table book with pictures from the show as an inspiring and healing tool for female cancer patients.
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19April   Considering cosmetic surgery? You have to read this.


A screenshot from “Anyone can wear a white coat,” an alarming PSA about plastic surgery, courtesy of the ASPS. Click here to see the complete video.
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“In many ways, plastic surgery is still the Wild West in this country. Any physician can legally call him or herself a plastic surgeon. Your family doctor can decide, ‘I think I’ll do facelifts today.’ It’s vital to do your homework to get the best doctor, best procedure and best outcome.”
--Dr. Malcolm Roth,plastic surgeon and President of the American Society of Plastic Surgeons

Everyday we get questions from FOFs about plastic and cosmetic surgery. Everything from, What is the least invasive face lift procedure? to Is it safe to have plastic surgery in Mexico?”

This year, we’re partnering with the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS), a not-for-profit authority on plastic surgery and plastic surgeons--and an organization we trust--to bring you the very best information on this topic.

This week, we interviewed Dr. Malcolm Roth, Chief of Plastic Surgery at Albany Medical Center, and the president of ASPS, who explains exactly how to find the right doctor, and why it can be confusing. “It’s vital for every FOF to do her homework before she chooses a doctor or a procedure,” says Dr. Roth. Our advice: If you’re considering any cosmetic procedure (including injections, lasers or even hair removal) read this first.

FOF: Why is it so confusing when it comes to choosing a qualified plastic or cosmetic surgeon?
Dr. Roth: In this country, any physician can legally call himself a plastic surgeon, even though he may not be board certified in plastic surgery. In most states, he can even advertise that he’s board certified and a cosmetic or plastic surgeon (though he may not be board certified in plastic surgery). So your gynecologist or family doctor can decide, “I think I’ll do facelifts today,” or “I think I’ll do liposuction.” As long as you have an office where you can perform the procedure, you can do what you want to do. There are some exceptions to this rule in a handful of states, but generally speaking, all you need is a facility and a medical license to perform surgery.

Wow. Why would a doctor who is not trained in plastic surgery decide to do it?
It’s difficult surviving in the world today as a physician. Insurance companies are decreasing their payments for procedures and making it more difficult to get paid. It’s easier to say, ‘Why not just do plastic surgery? My patients will pay me cash up front, and it looks easy.’ A cosmetic procedure can sound simple, but, even something like liposuction, in the wrong hands, is very dangerous. We’re hearing more and more about serious problems, and all ASPS members are seeing unhappy patients who need reconstruction, or are even beyond the point of reconstruction, due to surgery performed by unqualified physicians.

What is ASPS and how are its doctors qualified?
We are the largest plastic surgery specialty organization in the world. Our 7,000 cosmetic and reconstructive plastic surgeons are board certified by the American Board of Plastic Surgery. That means they have completed 6 years of surgical training with at least three of those years specifically devoted to plastic surgery. To qualify for ASPS, you must operate only in accredited medical facilities, adhere to a strict code of ethics and fulfill continuing medical education requirements to stay up to date, especially on patient safety. We are a non-profit, and our mission is to advance quality and, most importantly, safety, in plastic surgery.


Why is this important to FOFs?
You know the old expression, if the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail? Our surgeons have all the tools in the tool chest. If you’re a family doctor who has taken a weekend course in injectables, you’re going to recommend injectables to your patients, even if there are better options. Our members understand all the options, appropriate facial aesthetics, and most importantly, safety. They know what to do when something goes wrong.

For our society and our members, this isn’t a turf war. This is about trying to make sure patients understand that they have a choice and a responsibility to do their homework.

Okay, so how does an FOF do her “homework?”  How do you choose a doctor who is skilled, safe and has the maximum amount of training?

Here are the key questions every woman should ask a plastic surgeon she is considering:

  • Are you board certified by the American Board of Plastic Surgery? Are you a member of ASPS? What is your training in the field of plastic surgery? A certificate on the wall that says a doctor completed a weekend course to learn how to do lipo is not sufficient training.

  • .
  • Do you have hospital privileges? That means that a hospital has granted that doctor the right to do a specific surgery in its facility. The hospital credentialing committees look at the doctor’s training, and, if they don’t feel that person meets the standard held by that institution, they won’t allow him to do surgery there. If the doctor says yes, ask, which hospitals? And check with the hospital to make sure.

  • .
  • Is your surgery facility accredited by a national or state accrediting agency? Or is it state licensed? If the doctor performs surgery in his or her office, you want to make sure that facility has all the bells and whistles for the rare occasion when something does go wrong. For example, don’t you want to know that there's a crash cart with all the medication, and all the monitoring devices that can anticipate and prevent something going awry?

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  • How many of these procedures have you performed?

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  • Am I good candidate for this procedure? What other options are there? Your doctor should be able to help you make a decision based on your budget, your comfort with doing something invasive versus noninvasive, and your anatomical needs. A qualified plastic surgeon has the training to talk to you and perform ALL of those things.

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  • What happens if I have complications?  How long a recovery period can I expect and how will you help me through that?  Who covers your practice if you’re not around?

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  • What happens if I’m not satisfied with the outcome of my surgery? Will I have to pay for it?

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  • Do you have before-and-after pictures that I can look through? I suggest this question with the following caution: Today, doctors can use Photoshop and other tools to make their before and after pictures look very different. And I can tell you of instances where I’ve been made aware of people putting images on their website that were not even their own. So don’t let it be your sole determining factor.

  • .
  • Can I talk to another one of your patients who has experienced this procedure?



For facelifts, lipo and other surgical procedures, it makes sense to use a plastic surgeon. But what about injectables? Is it okay to go to a dermatologist for that?
Fillers and neurotoxins and other minimally invasive procedures are within the scope of dermatologist training, and it’s certainly reasonable to go to a dermatologist for those things. However, remember that dermatologists are not trained to do the surgical procedures that our members are trained to do. So if your dermatologist offers you filler, that’s probably fine. If, on the other hand, they suggest, “Well, how about I do a facelift?” that’s not in the scope of their training and a better option would be for you to consider an ASPS member surgeon.

Also, a plastic surgeon is going to know every nook and cranny of the face--where the nerves are, and what the ramifications are if you injure a nerve you’re not supposed to. An ASPS member will know how to minimize the risk of injury to vital structures. Injectables aren’t just a “skin procedure,” and it’s valuable to have somebody who has full understanding of the underlying anatomy.

What is the ultimate “red flag” that should send you running from a doctor’s office?
If they’re not trained in plastic surgery, you’ve got to be crazy. Run away. And if they are trained, but you don’t feel like you and the surgeon are connecting...that’s not a good sign.  Find someone else. There’s no rush--this is your life you’re talking about.

Visit plasticsurgery.org to start your search for a qualified plastic surgeon in your area.
5 comments   
18April   {Giveaway} Cellfolios


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FOF Jamie James is giving away her brilliant Cellfolio cell phone case from the Jamie James Collection. It doubles as a wallet AND keychain. Enter to win by answering in the comments below: How old were you when you got your first cell phone?

“My life requires me to be organized,” says FOF Jamie James, a divorce attorney and mother of four in Andover, Massachusetts. Yet Jamie admits that on occasions she’s misplaced her bar license and had trouble getting into court. “I’d stash my license and debit card in my pants pocket for easy access, but I’d forget to take them out when I got home at night.”

In 2010, Jamie noticed her daughter, Caitlyn, a junior at Princeton, carrying her credit cards in a plastic cell phone case, behind her Blackberry. “I started to do the same, but I was used to carrying leather Tory Burch and Kate Spade bags--this plastic jelly case didn’t really fit my style,” says Jamie. A friend suggested that Jamie design something more her taste.

Jamie James with her family at daughter, Caitlyn's, graduation.

Jamie with her family at Caitlyn's graduation.



“I had a big wish list,” says Jamie. “I wanted this case to hold cards, be made from high-quality Italian leather, be manufactured in the U.S. and fit a variety of phone sizes so you wouldn’t have to throw it away if you upgraded.”

Nine months later, in July of 2011, the Cellfolio was born. “It was truly like a birth,” says Jamie. “It was hard to get all the components to come together.”

The hard work paid off. In less than a year she’s sold 7,000 “Cellfolios,” hybrid wallet and cell phone cases that come in five different styles and over a dozen colors. Each Cellfolio holds three cards, and some styles have an exterior photo ID window. It fits any size smart phone.

Jamie sells the Cellfolio exclusively through her website and at speciality shows around the U.S. “I think people are looking to minimize now more than ever, and I was ahead of the curve on that,” says Jamie. “I only carry my Cellfolio now. It has really simplified my life.”
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Enter to win a Cellfolio cell phone case invented by FOF Jamie James by answering in the comments below: How many years ago did you get your first cell phone?

One FOF will win. (See all our past winners, here.) (See official rules, here.) Contest closes April 26, 2012 at midnight E.S.T.

Thank you for entering. This contest is now closed.
17April   {Tested} Rene Furterer 4-Step Kit for Stronger and Healthier Hair


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“One-hundred percent of women go through hair loss to some degree during menopause,” says Dr. Wilma Bergfeld, a dermatologist at the Cleveland Clinic. But what if there was a way to stop hair loss . . . or at least make your hair appear more youthful? The reps at French beauty company Rene Furterer promise that after 4 weeks of using their 4-Step Kit, you’ll have “stronger and healthier hair and scalp.” The kit includes a stimulating shampoo (retail value: $23), weekly scalp treatment (retail value: $45), concentrated serum (retail value: $67) and a dietary supplement (retail value: $39). We had five FOFs put these four products to the test to find out if they’re really the creme de la creme.

Read on to see what they thought.

P.S. Want to be guaranteed a product to test? Join the FOF Beauty Club now!


**Quick take: 4 out of 5 testers would recommend Rene Furterer to other FOFs.**

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POSEY THOMSON - Felton, CA

Were these products easy to use?
Yes--very easy.

Did you see a difference in your hair? Did your hair and/or scalp appear stronger and healthier?
Yes--a positive change. My hair is getting healthier every day.

Did your hair feel or look thicker?
When my hair is dry it definitely feels thicker.

{click here to read all the reviews!}


Did anyone comment on the appearance of your hair?
No.

Would you continue using these products? Why or why not?
Yes. I can't wait to continue using it. I really feel like it is healing my hair from the inside out. The shampoo is worth their cost because I only use a dime-size squirt of the shampoo [each time] and it is all organic. I used the scented oil mixture [Complexe5] for about five minutes, once a week before I shampoo. I only use enough on scalp to cover and no more. It has an aromatherapy-like scent. I used the RF80 vials once a week and they really made a difference in the way my hair felt--it is softer, fuller and just looks healthier.

Would you recommend these products to other FOFs?
Yes, definitely.

Please rate these products from 1 (Ugh. This was the worst.) to 5 (Loved it!).
5.

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EILEEN O’CONNOR - Ramsey, NJ

Were these products easy to use?
Yes.

Did you see a difference in your hair? Did your hair and/or scalp appear stronger and healthier?
No.

Did your hair feel or look thicker?
No.

Did anyone comment on the appearance of your hair?
No.

Would you continue using these products? Why or why not?
No, I did not like the fragrance at all.

Would you recommend these products to other FOFs?
No.

Please rate these products from 1 (Ugh. This was the worst.) to 5 (Loved it!).
2.

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LORNA LOCKERT -  Fredericksburg, NY

Were these products easy to use?
Yes.

Did you see a difference in your hair? Did your hair and/or scalp appear stronger and healthier?
[Yes, my] hair is shinier and healthier looking.

Did your hair feel or look thicker?
[It’s] hard to tell--my hair is so thick already. I hope it doesn’t thicken any more.

Did anyone comment on the appearance of your hair?
My hairdresser said it looked shiny.

Would you continue using these products? Why or why not?
No. I don’t want thicker hair.

Would you recommend these products to other FOFs?
Yes.

Please rate these products from 1 (Ugh. This was the worst.) to 5 (Loved it!).
4.

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ELIZABETH HERBERICK - New Milford, CT

Were these products easy to use?
Yes--very easy.

Did you see a difference in your hair? Did your hair and/or scalp appear stronger and healthier?
Yes, I did see a difference.  I actually got it cut and now it has a lot more body, too.

Did your hair feel or look thicker?
Yes.

Did anyone comment on the appearance of your hair?
My husband said it looked healthier.

Would you continue using these products? Why or why not?
Yes--they are simple and do seem to help make my fine hair look and feel thicker

Would you recommend these products to other FOF members?
Yes.

Please rate these products from 1 (Ugh. This was the worst.) to 5 (Loved it!).
4.5. I am always looking and will continue to look [for the best products] but right now, these products do work!

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DONNA HART - Louisville, KY

Were these products easy to use?
Yes.

Did you see a difference in your hair? Did your hair and/or scalp appear stronger and healthier?
Yes, I didn't lose as many hairs in the sink when I washed my hair.

Did your hair feel or look thicker?
A little bit.

Did anyone comment on the appearance of your hair?
My daughter said it looked really "full"

Would you continue using these products? Why or why not?
Yes. They helped enough that for me to continue using [them].

Would you recommend these products to other FOFs?
Yes.

Please rate these products from 1 (Ugh. This was the worst.) to 5 (Loved it!).
4.

3 comments   
17April   {Test This} Molton Brown Anti-Aging Bodycare Collection


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London-based beauty company Molton Brown is known for its fragrant hand and body washes; now its making a splash in the anti-aging market with a new body care collection (retail value $216) for FOFs. All the products in the collection are made from kopara, a rare ocean algae found exclusively on a coral island near Tahiti. Kopara produces exopolysaccharides to shield itself from UV rays. It can also do wonders for FOF skin, according to Molton Brown reps, who say that products formulated with this super-algae will “protect from age-accelerating pollutants, promote healthy-looking skin, and are clinically proven to reduce the signs of aging.” Sounds promising, but shall we sea for ourselves?

10 FOFs will test the entire Molton Brown anti-aging body collection formulated with kopara extract including a hand cream (retail value: $48), body cream (retail value: $89) and neck and decolletage cream (retail value: $79).

Click here to find out more about Molton Brown’s anti-aging body care collection, and then leave a comment below for a chance to test it.

P.S. Want to be guaranteed a product to test? Join the FOF Beauty Club now!
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(See all our past winners, here.) (See official rules, here.) Contest closes April 25, 2012 at midnight E.S.T.
16April   {What do you think of this look?} Efva Attling


This woman has it all: confidence, little black dress, leather, retro glasses, platforms and a peace sign.....oh, and might we also mention--she’s Sweden’s most famous jewelry designer, Efva Attling. Efva’s pieces have appeared everywhere from Madonna’s neck to H&M stores. But, what do you think FOFs--is she queen of accessories or queen of excess?
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Sherrie Mathieson: "The mix of feminine and masculine pieces are original and really right for her. I love the neutral palette, the proportions and use of repeated, interesting textures. She went easy on the black leather--keeping it soft and sporty. The peace sign keeps her youthful and modern. Right-on!"

Sherrie Mathieson is a leading style expert and Random House author of Steal this Style and Forever Cool.

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Lovey Dash: “I love the way she looks and her attitude. The jacket would not have been my first choice but...it works. The dress length makes her outfit age appropriate and her oversized bag is ready for a day of schlepping. It’s different, refreshing, fun...she’s rocking it!”

Lovey Dash is a Beverly Hills-based stylist. She was formerly in VIP sales for Louis Vuitton on Rodeo Drive.

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Terry Gibralter: "I love her fun-loving expression...but, unfortunately I don't love the outfit. That fit and flare dress feels too feminine and at odds with the other elements. I’d prefer it with more classic pieces like a trench coat and pumps. That strappy thing with the peace sign—is it jewelry or suspenders? I can’t figure it out. "

Terry Gibralter is the Sr. Vice President and Creative Director at Grey advertising as well as a fashion stylist and the creator of these clever work accessories.
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Susan Hersh: "I really like the leather bomber jacket and handbag--very original. Two-tone platform wedges are cool this season, but the harness necklace, beaded ankle bracelets and leather band below the knee are trying to be “too cool”. This woman overkilled a really good outfit with too many accessories. "

Susan Hersh is a Ford model and the host and executive producer of Meet The Experts.

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