Just because he’s your ex doesn’t always mean you have to ex-cise him from your life. One FOF wrote that she now gets along better with her former husband than when she was married to him! We love these responses to our question: Are you friends with your ex?
“Yes, we made it work for the kids. Attended bday parties, shared xmas with ex and our spouses. Made a huge difference for the stability of our kids.”
Jean Farrell
“I was married to my husband for 21 years when we finally decided it was time to divorce. Our kids were 21 and 16 at the time. Instead of taking the traditional route of two attorneys, we did mediation. It is a completely different process when you sit across from the father of your children, discussing all aspects of how to end the marriage. We agreed to ‘agree’ to whatever the law said was fair. We didn’t argue about a single issue, even though there was significant financial issues at stake.
“Over four years later and we have very civilized conversations with each other, mostly about our kids. We have on occasion taken our kids to dinner together. They think we’re nuts because we get along better now that we are divorced!”
Joannie Matter
“Tried, but the first one threatened me at a family event because I wouldn’t do what he wanted and the second ex got angry because he thinks it’s unfair that I stopped him from continuing to run the business in my name, for which I never received any compensation for. Guess I give up-never again because I don’t want to be controlled ever again.”
Dorothea Kay
“Friends, sure, but after a while you start to remember WHY he’s an ex.”
Suzanne Houston Nash
“Nope, he was a cheater and controlling.”
Chris Hartzell
“I tolerate and act civilized. Friend? No!!!”
Nancy Hammarstedt
0 Responses to “Are You Friends With Your Ex?”
Constance Simon says:
As far as friends after the divorce…We’ll I must admit. After the divorce I couldn’t STAND him. I wouldn’t talk to him for about three years. But the longer I carried that hate the more he tried to apologize.
I heard him and I forgave but it still did y satisfy me. I still couldn’t forget. But he was a persistent soul and kept asking for forgiveness because I wouldn’t talk to him. Well, it was harder to carry around all that hate than it was to just forgive and move on. I can now talk to him and we are better friends but I had to reason that he wasn’t the cause of all the issues. It just wasn’t meant to be and I thank God for opening y eyes about it.
We can talk but not always and that’s all it is to it. Sometimes I can still sense from conversations the reason i chose to end the marriage. I love inner peace and me being happy. Sometimes I’m reminded from our talks that I made the right choice. Everyone is is not made to continue a friendship with an ex. That’s my story.
GeriFOF says:
It’s a good story, Constance. Thank you for sharing it!
Geri Brin, FOF
Tia Northrup Marlow says:
We have 4 children now 21,19,13 and 12.We arent divorced but seperated.My two boys live with theeir dad and the two girls live with me.We go to each others houses for dinner,go out to dinner,I go with them up to MILs in Idaho.We still are a family and are better friends than when we lived together.