By Theresa Miceli
Our generation grew up with strict parents who instilled in us their morals, ethics, religion and values. They were our role models. We weren’t pampered, indulged, nor spoiled.
I followed a prescribed path of education (had to be on the honor roll or else). I had curfews, including when to be home for dinner. I ate whatever was served. I had to have an after-school job, and help clean the house once a week. Cell phones weren’t invented yet, but I didn’t have a landline in my bedroom. I also didn’t have a car or get a lift to school. I had no clothing allowance.
When I graduated and got a job, I started to enjoy amenities I could provide for myself.
Geri Brin, who founded this website, hired me to be her assistant in 1976, when I was in my early twenties and she was almost 30. That was four decades ago, and today we’re as close as sisters, even closer than some sisters. Geri didn’t especially like my then boyfriend, who would later become my husband, but she and her husband came to my wedding and hoped for the best for me.
Geri and I lost touch for many years. When we reconnected, I invited her to dinner at my home, when her negative feelings about my long-time husband resurfaced. She may have missed out on over 35 years of my life, but her attitude about him made sense.
I raised four children without a bit of input from my husband. He may have provided financial support, but it wasn’t steady, and he often used money to punish me.
I was berated for not having enough sex, and started hormone therapy to please him. The hormones did more for me than our marriage. I felt like Humpty Dumpty put back together again. No night sweats, no mood swings, more energy, weight loss, and yes, improved libido. Still, this didn’t make him happy. I finally realized nothing I could do would make him happy. It was impossible.
Sure, every marriage has it warts and pimples. My marriage, though, was a prison sentence. Two and half years ago I left. I wanted to write this to give encouragement to anyone who thinks she can’t survive without a man.