A New and Safer Approach to End-Of-Life Care

Rushing with electric paddles towards a 55-year-old woman in cardiac arrest, Dr. Ferdinando Mirarchi, a young intern, was stopped by a nurse flashing a piece of paper. “No, don’t shock her. She’s a DNR, she’s a DNR,” the nurse shouted. DNR means Do Not Resuscitate.

“I thought I was a good intern, but I became paralyzed, and didn’t know what to do,” Dr. Mirarchi remembered. 

“A cardiologist who was walking through the ICU and saw the commotion pushed me aside and shocked the woman’s heart,” Dr. Mirarchi said. “She came to and started talking to us. Had the cardiologist not been there, and I was left alone, she would have died.” 

The woman, in fact, had a living will, instead of a “do not resuscitate” order, but the documents confused the staff and Dr. Mirarchi.

Fast forward a few years to a level 1 trauma center in Pittsburgh, where Dr. Mirarchi was a resident in emergency medicine attending to a 60-something unresponsive man.  “The paramedics said he had an AD (advance directive) living will, but I wasn’t going to repeat the mistake I made as an intern, so I resuscitated him,” Dr. Mirarchi related. “I placed him on a ventilator and set up IV catheters.”

Dr. Mirarchi was preparing to transport the patient to the ICU, when a slightly built old woman appeared and announced her husband was an end-stage cancer patient. “She could no longer care for him at home since he was in great pain,” she explained. She needed help and she could tell he was dying.  

“The woman in cardiac arrest when I was an intern wanted to be treated, but this man wanted to die naturally because of his pain from advanced cancer. Everyone involved at the hospitals assumed they were on top of each situation, but the patients couldn’t speak for themselves, and we were wrong. That often happens, which is very troubling,” Dr. Mirarchi added. 

When ‘Medical Strangers’ Make Decisions About Your Life

Dr. Fred Mirarchi

Now an emergency and palliative medicine physician, Dr. Mirarchi categorized his two previous encounters as “medical stranger dangers.” Our doctors are often no longer in the hospital advocating for us, he stressed. Instead, we see “medical strangers.”

“No one is going to know what that patient wants anymore. It’s frightening,” Dr. Mirarchi said.

Living wills and other ADs are written, legal instructions regarding your medical care preferences if you can’t make choices for yourself. They’re supposed to help guide decisions for doctors and caregivers if you’re terminally ill, seriously injured, comatose, in the late stages of dementia, or at the end of life. 

But – and this is a BIG BUT – Dr. Mirarchi revealed that these directives are “often misinterpreted because they approach patients’ medical care preferences from a negative perspective.” They’ll state under what conditions a patient doesn’t want to receive care, which can be understood differently by different health care providers.

As the lead investigator with TRIAD – a patient safety research series that studies the realistic interpretation of advance directives – Dr. Mirarchi learned that a living will can often lead to inappropriate and unsafe medical care on both sides of this care equation.  Sometimes too much care; sometimes too little. If you’ll remember back to the start of this article, that almost happened when he was a resident.

The statistics are staggering:

When medical providers look at ADs, 80% of the time they’ll assume these written directives mean Do Not Resuscitate. It’s almost 90% with nurses and above 90% with paramedics, multiple TRIAD studies repeatedly showed.

“If you’re critically ill, can the clinical staff taking care of you properly assess how your AD relates to your distinct situation?” Dr. Mirarchi asked. Based on his studies, it’s highly unlikely it can. 

Aiming to eliminate the disparity between ADs and the actual treatment patients receive when critically ill or at the end of life, Dr. Mirarchi created MIDEO Health, a video-based advance care planning platform. “I knew I had to approach the solution from a technological perspective,” he added.

Making Sure to Honor Your EndOfLife Wishes

Putting my magnetized Mideo Health ID card on the refrigerator

MIDEO advance care plans on video are easily created in consultation with physicians. The videos are designed to eliminate confusion and prevent misinterpretation of care directives so our wishes concerning critical illness (desiring care) and end-of-life care (wanting a natural death) are honored.

“MIDEO is patient centered. We analyze each person’s current state of health and provide disease specific advance care planning.  By customizing every plan, we ensure that what’s right, safe, and effective for patients is clearly understood by the ‘medical strangers’ viewing the videos. This is a non-traditional approach,” Dr. Mirarchi stressed. Most systems simply want you to prepare documents, and have you become comfortable with death.  MIDEO wants to assure you will avoid being harmed because a medical stranger misinterpreted your documents.

To ensure a seamless process, MIDEO creates a prescription for your care and gives you a script to read when you film your video with its phone app.

The video is one component of the service. You’ll receive three MIDEO ID cards, one with a magnet. The cards contain identifying information, including your date of birth, the name and phone number of your healthcare proxy, and your “code status,” which is how you’d want to be treated.

You keep one card in your wallet with your driver’s license and give one to your healthcare proxy. The card with the magnet is for the side of the refrigerator, where paramedics often are trained to look for advance directives when they can’t communicate directly with the patient.

The MIDEO fulfillment team also coordinates with your primary care physician and hospital’s medical records department to insert your info into their electronic medical records online. And, if you have an attorney who created an estate plan for you, MIDEO will contact him or her.

“We now have patients in 43 states and five countries and are seeing really good results with patients using our system,” Dr. Mirarchi said. “And we’re constantly visiting hospital administrators to increase the MIDEO adoption rates, so it becomes the norm.” We do not charge health care systems to access your info or to use the MIDEO system. 

Dr. Mirarchi stressed that MIDEO isn’t trying to remove your existing directives or medical orders, but to make sure they clearly reflect your current wishes. Paper-based legal documents or medical orders do not adequately perform the job.

The MIDEO Process,, Price,, and Practicality

The MIDEO Package, designed for those with multiple medical problems or aged 60 and above, is $349, which is covered by Medicare.  A year after your information is in the system a $10 annual fee guarantees that your video is secured in MIDEO’s servers 24/7 365 days a year.

The MIDEO Package includes:

  1. A guided process and healthcare evaluation by a trained physician.
  2. Education and counseling according to your unique needs.
  3. A customized MIDEO statement- the prescription for your care – that is recorded and validated for quality, safety, and compliance.
  4. Step-by-step instructions from a live concierge to assist with the MIDEO software before, during and after the consultation.

Once you’re in the MIDEO system, your file is entered into a cycle, and the company decides when to see you again based upon your risk assessment. “We don’t need to see you back if there are no changes in your status, but we still need to periodically update your file,” Dr. Mirarchi explained.   

Dr. Mirarchi advises creating a MIDEO advance care plan on video any time you experience a life-changing event, including marriage; having children; buying life insurance; being diagnosed with an illness, and having a stroke.

Dont let a medical stranger” decide how youll live. A Mideo advance care plan on video ensures youre treated precisely how you wish.

Dr. Google Is a Quack. Take Away Its Medical License.

I’m writing this for anyone who has frantically Googled the meaning of an unexplained ache or pain, sudden rash or new mole, abnormal blood test result, or other concerning medical issue.

Google is not a doctor, not even a mediocre doctor. The stark fact is, the internet is infested with irresponsible, egregious, horrifyingly misleading medical articles that should be taken down immediately.

Google’s algorithms may help us find a sofa or college roommate, but they’re god awful when it comes to giving us completely reliable medical information!

Despite doctor after doctor advising us not to use Google as a diagnostician, we can’t help ourselves. And, our fear increases with each article we read.

After my recent petrifying experience with Dr. Google, I have promised myself that I will not turn to it about medical matters ever again.

Consider my story: When my husband’s recent routine blood workup showed concerningly high liver enzyme readings, his internist recommended that he have an ultrasound of the liver, bladder and kidneys.

I immediately Googled the enzyme names and levels, and read that they indicated a good chance for liver disease. The laundry list of potential diseases included cirrhosis of the liver, hepatitis, blockage of the bile duct, and, of course, the big C!

Statins can also raise liver enzymes, so Douglas was instructed to stop taking them.

The ultrasound showed a dilated common bile duct and pancreatic duct, called “Double Duct Sign.” New recommendation: Douglas should have an MRI because the ultrasound didn’t fully visualize the pancreas.

UH OH! THE PANCREAS!!!!!!

Back to Google: “Double-duct sign is the combined dilation of the common bile duct and pancreatic duct, often caused by cancer of the pancreas,” read a National Institute of Health website, repeated on one website after another.

Even though Douglas didn’t have a single symptom of pancreatic cancer, 80 percent of the cases don’t show symptoms until it’s too late. But early-stage pancreatic cancer is no picnic either, and carries with it a grim prognosis. A complex and painful surgery would probably mitigate the disease, but not cure it.

This is when the situation went from bad to worse: The MRI confirmed the double duct sign, and also revealed a subcentimeter “lesion” near the “ampulla of Vater,” which is the juncture where the common bile duct and pancreatic duct meet. 

New recommendation: An Endoscopic Ultrasound, which would involve a camera traveling through Douglas’s  mouth to photograph his pancreas, the ducts, and the lesion. The doctor would take a biopsy during the EUS, which would determine what’s going on (AKA malignant v. benign).

Back to Google to learn about ampullary cancer, which turns out is less vile than pancreatic cancer, but nonetheless horrible, too.

As far as I could determine from my hours Googling and reading articles, studies, and charts, Douglas would be lucky to live a few more years, but god knows in what state.

Now the real fun began: I had to find NYC’s most experienced gastroenterologist to do the EUS. Using my finely honed research skills from decades of writing and reporting, I made countless calls, sent scads of emails and test results to pancreatic specialists, to a friend whose dad had a related cancer, and to an old friend, who happens to be a gastroenterologist.

“I hate to tell you this, Geri, but I think it’s cancer,” he said matter of factly, “but you won’t know definitively until the EUS is done.”

Our friend must be in cahoots with Dr. Google.

My wonderful internist at Mount Sinai in New York – Dr. Beuria – immediately got on the case and put me in touch with Dr. Satish Nagula, a world renowned gastroenterologist who performs EUS procedures everyday.  His impeccable credentials – Yale Medical School, stint at Sloan Kettering, research papers, and much more – gave me a measure of comfort, even if Google did not!

After Dr. Nagula reviewed Douglas’s test results, he scheduled the EUS, which Douglas had yesterday.

Holding up a full color illustration of our GI organs – pancreas, liver, intestines, and kidney- after the procedure, Dr. Nagula explained what he found and where he found it.

Douglas DOES NOT HAVE CANCER or any of Google’s other dire predictions. The double duct sign had no relevance, Dr. Nagula emphasized right away. He sees it all the time, even when nothing is seriously wrong.

There’s a small round ball in the pancreatic duct, which is either a precancerous polyp or scar tissue, Dr. Nagula said. He will remove it at the beginning of September, after we spend a week with our son in Berlin and Copenhagen.

Colby lives in London, and hasn’t seen Douglas in almost two years. When I asked Dr. Nagula if we could still take the short trip abroad, he confidently said “yes.”

I’m firing Dr. Google. He’s a quack!

A Surefire Solution to Mitigating Midlife Weight Gain

Dressing for work one morning in my mid 50s, I was stunned that one of my favorite button down blouses unexpectedly felt snug.

What’s going on, I thought. This blouse fit me last week!

Turns out, menopause was going on, so my body – and brain – were beginning to look and act in new and unsettling ways.

More disconcerting situations followed. Thinning hair. Poor sleep. Down moods. Decreased libido. And that brand new, expanding body shape – in all the wrong places – plus numbers ratcheting up on the scale.

What’s a woman to do?

I’ve learned a great deal about women’s health in midlife since then, and although I’m not a doctor, or married to one, I can confidently pass along sound advice.

First, don’t panic. That will only increase your anxiety, and won’t change a thing.

Second, please know you absolutely can take control over these unexpected and unwanted issues, not to mention feel physically and emotionally better than you’ve ever felt in your life. 

Happily for women today, menopause is moving out of the shadows. Smart solutions – like the exceptional Reverse Health app – are now here to help. Really, really help. More on Reverse Heath in a moment.

now for access to your personalized meal plan and the Reverse Health app!

Third, don’t try to deal with everything at once. That approach will have you running around in circles since many of your issues are interrelated – and the result of one major factor: Your body’s naturally declining level of estrogen.

Maria’s clothes weren’t fitting. She lacked energy. Her knees hurt when she climbed stairs. Her weight skyrocketed, along with menopause and the pandemic. Reverse Health changed everything. Maria lost over 25 pounds in six months. The program “incited a huge and positive change in my life,” she said.

ESTROGEN DECLINE CAN MEAN DECLINING HEALTH

One of a woman’s most essential hormones, estrogen does far more than regulate our menstrual cycle. It helps maintain the smooth functioning of the reproductive and urinary tracts, the heart and blood vessels, bones, breasts, skin, hair, mucous membranes, pelvic muscles, and the brain. 

Estrogen also helps manage how our bodies convert foods and beverages into energy, a chemical process called metabolism. When estrogen declines during a woman’s mid age, coinciding with naturally decreasing muscle mass, metabolism slows down, which leads to increasing body and abdominal fat. No wonder my button down shirt suddenly felt tight! 

What’s more, if you exercise little and sleep poorly, it becomes a struggle to lose weight! Continuing to eat as you always have, without upping your physical activity, and you’ll likely gain weight. 

Menopause weight gain – especially around the midsection, where fat surrounds our organs – means more than roomier clothes. It can seriously impact our health, increasing our risk for issues including breathing problems, heart and blood vessel disease, urinary incontinence, joint disease, and Type 2 diabetes. It also increases our risk for breast, colon and endometrial cancers, among others.

NOW FOR THE (VERY) GOOD NEWS 

All this can no doubt be a distressing turn of events, but enough with the downside. These are the first unequivocally smart moves you can make for your body and brain when you’re confronting perimenopause or menopause: 

  • Consume the right foods, in the right amount – that can actually taste great. 
  • Move and think in the right way – with constructive mental and physical exercises. 
  • Interact with the right women – in an inspirational, motivating community.  

My advice may be logical, but surfing through the countless diet-exercise-menopause websites for guidance is a daunting exercise. Everyone eager to get your attention professes to be a health and wellness expert on midlife women because it’s a hot topic these days.

Germaine never thought she could lose 20 pounds at 66 years old and eat foods she loves! “The strain on my heart was reversed, and I have medical records to prove it. My cardiologist was ecstatic,” she said.

I assure you that genuine experts, however, are few and far between. I’ve been researching the subject for years, and am working with an exclusive consortium of world-renowned medical ‘Menopause Masters’ who will soon be educating thousands of women.   

Reverse Health is the real deal, with significant things going for it: In-depth nutritional knowledge & coaching experience specifically for mid age women. Plus, an exclusive, understandable, and uncluttered app that’s easy to follow and features tasty recipes, effective exercises, access to real experts, and the company of other motivated, terrific women.

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NO CALORIE COUNTING, THANK GOODNESS 

Matt Jones holds a masters in nutrition science and co-founded Reverse Health with Monika Friedman, a  certified health & life coach specializing in women’s health and wellbeing. When Matt’s mom wanted to start the Keto Diet during menopause, he told her “that’s no way to lose weight at your age, and it’s not a diet you’ll stick to.”  

Matt knew his mother needed to adjust energy and macronutrient intake (fats, carbs & proteins) to avoid gaining weight and fat, and maintaining good health. So he created a meal plan, and had it packaged in  an app to benefit her and other women like her. The plan features whole foods rich in protein and fiber, as well as micronutrients (vitamins & minerals) and phytonutrients (compounds found in plants and mushrooms).   

The nutrients in the diet are powerful anti-inflammatories and antioxidants to help decrease blood pressure, stabilize blood sugar, reduce fat mass, improve cholesterol levels, and increase bone and muscle density. Your energy level will rise. Your mood and sleep will improve. Your weight will stabilize. 

Offering moderate amounts of fish, dairy and white meats, colorful vegetables, fruits, beans, lentils, nuts and whole grains, Matt’s plan is “similar to the Mediterranean diet,” he told me. “It’s not a secret or groundbreaking. It’s actually quite simple.”

Although you’re encouraged to track your meals on the app, you can forget about the dreadful practice of counting countries. “Food loses its identity when all you do is count calories,” Monika said. Besides, we develop unnecessary guilt feelings if we consume even an extra 50 calories. Instead, Reverse Health teaches us to think about the nutrients in the foods we’re eating. Nutritional info is highlighted right in every recipe. 

Each woman receives customized weekly meal plans based on her personal answers to a simple quiz. 

AND YES, WE DO NEED TO MOVE 

“Our goal is to give women the tools and knowledge to not only lose weight, but to sustain a healthy weight, increase lifespan, reverse symptoms of aging, and learn how to stay committed,” Matt explained. 

Besides the nutritional piece of the program, Reverse Health offers strength training and exercise segments for core, cardio, muscles and bones, neck and shoulders, and knees. You’ll also find yoga and chair workouts. 

Your body and a mat are the only things you’ll need. No weights. No costly equipment that you’ll use two times. Just uncomplicated movements that are designed to kick start your metabolism, and help you lose your menopause weight gain, not turn you into Arnold Schwarzenegger.

There’s more. Reverse Health also offers inspirational and motivational videos covering subjects including, all or nothing thinking and mindful eating; the opportunity to join a private and supportive group of like-minded women who share super recipes, as well as their challenges and triumphs, and chats with health coaches.

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Don’t Wait: Add Reverse Health to your life & give midlife weight gain the heave ho

Dismissing Hearing Loss as You Age Can Bollix Your Brain

Treat your ears and mind to affordable, medical-quality hearing aids you can buy online

We’ll sprint to the salon to banish the first signs of gray. Dash to the dermatologist to zap furrows in our brow. Seek a surgeon to lift suddenly sagging breasts. 

But when we start straining to hear our dinner companion over the din in a crowded restaurant, or the dialogue in our favorite streaming series, we quickly chalk it up to natural aging.

Big mistake. Pretending we know what someone is saying to us is not a good look. Worse, untreated hearing loss can lead to cognitive decline, isolation and dementia, asserts the National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders. Yikes! 

Of the 28.8 million Americans who could benefit from hearing aids, just 16 percent of adults under 69 years old and 30 percent of those over 70 have them. 

HOW CAN SO MANY SMART PEOPLE MAKE SUCH A DUMB DECISION?

It’s actually an easy question to answer! 

Millions of us are embarrassed to admit we need hearing aids, as if wearing them confirms we’re not only older, but weak. Besides, they’re so big, bulky and unattractive. 

(top) $7K hearing aid
(bottom) Lexie Lumen $799 hearing aid

And the price! Hearing aids can cost thousands of dollars. Think as much as $8K.

What’s more,  an audiologist must perform a hearing test and write a prescription. Who has time for that! 

HEAR! HEAR! YOU CAN STOP MAKING EXCUSES

Hearing aids today are actually compact, stylish and available in colors that complement our hair. They tuck firmly behind the ears, so someone would have to be nuzzling you to know you’re wearing them. Maybe not even then. 

And, thanks to new regulations and new technology, we can now buy FDA-certified, medical-quality hearing aids over the counter – or online – for a whopping 80 percent less than traditional aids.

I’ve been wearing ridiculously high-priced aids since I started miss-hearing words about a decade ago. So I was intrigued to try new Lexie Lumen $799 hearing aids from Lexie Hearing that reportedly would perform every bit as well as my expensive style. 

       Lexie Lumen hearing aids

“Our team of audiologists, scientists and engineers has developed the hearing aid technology to put the power in the hands of the consumer,” explained Seline van der Wat, COO at Lexie Hearing. By eliminating costly recurring visits at healthcare professionals, Lexie Hearing can bring its hearing aids to market at exceptional prices. 

SEE BOX BELOW TO LEARN ABOUT LEXIE HEARING AND ITS THREE LEXIE MODELS

I could purchase Lexie Lumen in person at stores including Walgreens and Best Buy,  or order online, which I did. The hearing aids arrived within a week, along with one of the clearest, well-written, easy-to-understand user manuals that’s ever accompanied a product I’ve purchased. 

The manual explains everything you need to know about your new hearing aids: Setting them up; properly placing them in your ears; cleaning and storage; changing the volume and listening environments. The Lexie app also explains through animation how to set up the hearing aids.

When your aids are ready to be automatically programmed to your hearing check results through the Lexie app on your phone, you’re guided through the simple steps. If you’re not entirely comfortable doing this on your own, ask a friend or relative to help. I assure you it’s quite easy to accomplish. You won’t need a computer engineering degree! 

After wearing Lexie Lumen for almost three weeks, I can confirm they allow me to hear every bit as well as my uber-expensive model. Everything sounds louder, crisper and clearer. You truly can’t understand what a difference it makes to hear properly again. Think about how you can miraculously read small print and highway signs with your prescription glasses. 

Unlike the costly rechargeable hearing aids, Lexie Lumen requires batteries and can’t connect to my iPhone or TV. Considering the massive price difference ($799 V. $7K), who cares? 

If you’ve never worn hearing aids, it may take you a few weeks to get used to them. Your brain will be surprised to receive signals it’s been missing, and needs time to again become familiar with the high-frequency sounds of speech and environmental noises.

The Lexie app also gives you access to:

  • A team of experienced product and hearing experts six days a week.
  • A unique rewards program that guides and supports you as you get used to wearing your new hearing aids and offers discounts on accessories including batteries and domes. 
  • A library of authoritative hearing-related content.

Lexie Hearing is so convinced Lexie hearing aids will make a consequential difference in your life, it offers a 45-day free trial. If you don’t hear the difference during the first 45 days, return Lexie for a full refund. 

No questions asked. 

Hearing Loss Isn’t a Good Look!

Wake up your ears – and brain – to the sweet sounds of Lexie

Lexie Hearing At A Glance

WHAT’S THE HISTORY OF LEXIE HEARING? 

hearX Group began in 2016 by selling clinical digital tools to audiologists and other medical professionals that allowed them to screen hearing in low-income communities at affordable prices. 

“Our smart, evidence-based digital tools provide clinical, screening and self-test solutions for easier, more efficient and cost-effective hearing care. We have pioneered digital hearing solutions to detect, diagnose and treat hearing loss around the globe,” explained Seline van der Wat, COO at Lexie Hearing. 

The company branched out to the consumer side in 2020, when Lexie Hearing was born. 

CAN EVERYONE WEAR LEXIE HEARING AIDS?

Lexie is suitable for individuals over 18 years old with perceived mild-to-moderate hearing loss. It is necessary to see an audiologist for more severe hearing loss.

WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE THREE LEXIE MODELS? 

Lexie Lumen     $799 or $42 a month for 24 months*

Battery-operated, these bluetooth-enabled hearing aids can be customized according to your hearing profile. Sounds are transmitted through a tube. Available in five colors.

Lexie B1 Powered by Bose    $849 or $47 a month for 24 months*

Self-fitting and battery-operated, these bluetooth-enabled hearing aids can be customized according to your hearing profile. Sounds are transmitted through a wire.  Available in gray.

Lexis B2 Powered by Bose    $999 or $49 a month for 24 months*

Self-fitting and rechargeable – a three-hour charge lasts 18 hours –  these bluetooth-enabled  hearing aids feature a receiver that sits in the ear canal. Sounds are transmitted through a wire. Available in gray.     

* Lexie hearing aids can be purchased with Flexible Spending (FSA) or Health Saving Accounts (HSA) 

ARE LEXIE HEARING AIDS THE SAME AS SOUND AMPLIFIERS?

Definitely not. Amplifiers simply amplify everything. Lexie hearing aids can be programmed to work effectively in every hearing environment, including noisy restaurants, everyday use, outdoors and when you’re listening to your favorite music. They will block out background noise in a restaurant so you can hear your dinner companion. 

DO MEN OR WOMEN BUY MORE HEARING AIDS? 

Lexie Hearing is seeing more online purchases from women, but said they might be purchasing for their husbands. The two Bose models tend to attract a 45+ year old, tech-savvy male audience. 

HOW DO I REALLY KNOW IF I SHOULD WEAR HEARING AIDS? 

If you suspect you have hearing loss, but Lexie hearing aids aren’t making a difference in your life, you can send them back – no questions asked – within 45 days. It’s crucial to understand that it takes at least one month to get used to them, and should be worn for increasingly longer periods every day during the break-in period. 

Putting My Dad Through Agony

17-year-old me ( right) with my roommate, as freshmen at Syracuse University. I stayed there one semester and came home, subsequently graduating from NYU. Don’t let the smile fool you. I was miserable.

When we’re young and not especially smart emotionally – aka self aware –  many of us have no earthly idea how our actions are impacting others. Or ourselves. And we do some pretty risky, hurtful, downright mean things that often help shape our future.

Even the best of us isn’t immune from behaving improperly, immaturely or impossibly illogically in our youth – and beyond.

If we’re lucky and introspective, we learn about ourselves as we move along in life. About the good and bad. And we act more and more like responsible grownups.

If we never become self aware, we can make the same dumb mistakes over and over, continuing to hurt ourselves and those around us. Our friends. Relatives. Colleagues. Bosses. Even strangers.

Of course, we can’t magically undo what we did 50 years ago, let’s say. But we can think hard about important situations from our past, superimpose them on our lives and people in the present, and see what we can learn ourselves or teach others.

This process is called a “thought experiment,” a phrase I never heard before, I’m embarrassed to admit. I learned it from my son after I messaged him the following random thoughts earlier this week:

My 42-year-old dad (why did everyone look older 50+ years ago??!!!) visiting me at parents weekend.

“When I had a breakdown as a freshman at Syracuse University, I was 17. My father was 42 (my son’s age today). I called him hysterically five times a day, often interrupting him when he was with a patient.

“I desperately needed him to talk me off the ledge. I never for a moment thought about him. Besides, he was incapable of dealing with an emotional, crazy person.

“Imagine if you had a nutcase 17-year old kid calling you at work five times a day.

“My poor dad. I put him through hell when he was so young. He wasn’t filled with joy in the first place – and then he had to contend with me.

“I wish he would come back for even a few hours so I could talk to him.”

And this was my son’s response:

“That’s an amazing thought experiment. Can’t believe he was only 42. I wish I knew him better.” (My son was 9 years old when my dad died. He was born on my dad’s 60th birthday!)

 

The Daily Routine Susan Is Never Going To Stop

When Susan Tolliver’s doctor told her she had Type 2 diabetes, she figured it was time to “stop spending all that money on Dr. Pepper and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and start spending it on something that’s good for me,” said the 66-year-old Texan. “My body was starting to feel so run down from eating too much sugar and not getting the nutrition it needs. My poor diet also was putting me at risk for developing other medical conditions like osteoporosis and heart disease.”

Susan liked a blurb she had read from her health insurance carrier about a company that would recommend personalized, doctor-approved nutritional supplements based on her health, daily habits and goals, and the medications she was taking. “They’d also deliver them to my door, so I decided that instead of wasting my energy and my calories on food I didn’t need to eat I’d focus on what would make me feel better,” Susan reasoned.

TAKE YOUR 5-MINUTE ASSESSMENT AND GET YOUR PERSONA RECOMMENDATIONS TODAY!

SMART, SIMPLE & CONVENIENT

On January 23, Susan filled out the five-minute questionnaire on www.personanutrition.com, received her supplement recommendations from a highly trained nutritionist and backed by four doctors, and placed the order. She thinks it’s “a treat” that her daily supplements are divided into morning and evening packets, which makes them easy to take. And, she can tuck a packet into her handbag if she’s planning to be out late. When Susan has a question, she’s delighted to be able to reach a nutritionist in minutes. “It’s also simple to add or cancel a supplement anytime I want,” she said.

Susan’s been taking a multivitamin and spirulina in the morning; in the evening she takes her second dosage of the multivitamin, ubiquinol, turmeric, Omega 3, garlic and a supplement for blood sugar balance. Ubiquinol replenishes an important enzyme that’s being depleted by the statin Susan’s doctor prescribed for her high cholesterol. The blood sugar balance supplement helps regulate her diabetes. Her multivitamins are split in the morning and night packs so that she can absorb more nutrients at a time. “I used to be hungry an hour after I ate, which was a sign of diabetes, “the doctor told me.  A week after I started taking the supplement for my blood sugar, I didn’t feel that hungry anymore,” Susan said.

TAKE YOUR 5-MINUTE ASSESSMENT AND GET YOUR PERSONA RECOMMENDATIONS TODAY!

Susan wakes at 6 am weekdays, walks her dog, goes to work as a Geographic Information Service Manager at an oil and gas company, gets off at 7 pm, returns home, walks her dog again, cooks and eats dinner, and goes to bed. “If someone tells me I should start working out, I say, ‘When?’ ” she said.  Susan had consistently put on weight since her son was born 35 years ago. “I remember thinking it was nutty when the doctors told me after I gave birth that I’d be gaining a pound a year. But I’ve probably gained 35 pounds. I look in the mirror and say, ‘Lordy, look at the 35 pounds on me!’”

Besides cutting out the soda and Peanut Butter Cups, Susan didn’t change anything else in her lifestyle. Her latest blood test results showed she’s now a borderline diabetic, and she’s lost three pounds. “It was time to make a decision to stop eating junk food. Did I want to keep feeling mushy and have diabetes destroy my blood vessels, my eyesight, and more?” Susan considers the money she spends on her Persona supplements an investment in herself. “I felt so much better by the end of the first round of supplements, there’s no way I’m going to stop,’’ says Susan. “Each month I just feel better and better and more energetic. That can’t be just from losing three pounds!”

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He’s 77. She’s 72. They’re Still Enjoying Sex!

Ann and Harvey still made passionate love in 2004, after 13 years of marriage! Harvey, 62 years old at the time, and Ann, 57, would have rated their sex a solid 10!  When Harvey first noticed signs of ED (erectile dysfunction) he wasn’t overly concerned. But, when it reached the point where he’d “go south and become flaccid” during intercourse, he and Ann’s first inclination was to stop trying to have intimate relations as frequently.  “We were worried we’d keep having failures,” Ann remembered.

“Even though we intellectually knew what was happening, my emotions kept telling me we wouldn’t be having this problem if I was prettier or younger,” Ann recalled. “I still wanted to have a sexual relationship with my beautiful wife, but I didn’t feel whole because I couldn’t perform,” Harvey added. That feeling not only affected Harvey’s ego; it affected Ann’s and his relationship. “We were still best of friends, but I was, at least, frustrated,” Harvey said.

They both suffered like this for about nine months, while each of them privately harbored their new-found feelings of insecurity and discouragement. “We didn’t discuss the problem together until we realized the situation was becoming our new habit. When we were able to identify the problem together, we became determined to solve it,” Ann related.

They tried all three oral medications for ED that were available at the time.One would be wonderful for a few months and then it became less helpful, so the urologist would write a new prescription for the next medication. We’d repeat the pattern with that one, and then again with the third,” Harvey said.

They tried a vacuum penis pump one time but “it was cumbersome and left Harvey’s penis cold,” Ann said. “Besides, it  wasn’t spontaneous,” Harvey added.

They tried medication that Harvey injected into his penis with a small needle, but that, too, stopped being dependable.

At the close of 2011, seven and a half years after getting on the ED roller coaster, 70-year-old Harvey and 65-year-old Ann began searching for new solutions. They refused to give up hope, even when a urologist advised them to just accept their circumstances. No other treatments were available, he flatly stated. Fatefully,  a sharing friend of Harvey’s mentioned that he had had a penile implant and was extremely satisfied with the results, literally and figuratively. That got Harvey’s full attention!

Keep reading…

How It Feels To Be 100!

About to blow out the candles

“How does it feel to be 100?” I asked Mimi.  The second the words popped out, I knew it was one of the dumbest questions I had ever uttered.  

“Very much like it felt to be 99,” Mimi answered.  As you can tell, Mimi’s a lot sharper than I am!

Mimi and daughter Betsy

An active member of the 60+ Program at the bustling 92nd Street Y in Manhattan until the last couple of years, Mimi would attend weekly current events discussion groups led by Douglas, my ex.  They became pals, and over the last decade Douglas has often visited Mimi at her apartment where they talk for hours and have dinner. Douglas loves to learn about everyone’s family history. As a matter of fact, he knows more about my family than I do!

Mimi and daughter Jane

Mimi, an only child,  became an orphan by the time she was six months old. Her mother’s brother adopted her, but Mimi told Douglas that his wife never treated her lovingly, as she did with her biological children. A graduate of the University of Chicago when women were scarce on college campuses, Mimi worked in a munitions factory during World War II and then became an early education teacher and guidance counselor.   She married twice, to a lawyer and a labor union organizer, and had two daughters. Betsy teaches at Brooklyn Law School and Jane is a retired professor of anthropology at Cornell University.

Granddaughter Vanessa chatting with Mimi’s 91-year-old friend Lore Segal, a successful author

Mimi also passed her smart genes down to her grandchildren. Granddaughter Vanessa went to Harvard and now works for world-renowned American economist Jeffrey Sachs. Her sister Allison worked for a climate think tankGrandson Nicky graduated from the Harvard Kennedy School and worked for President Obama.

“We are all here hoping to follow in my mother’s footsteps. She’s progressive, adventuresome and loyal, a devoted and inspired grandmother, and a favorite of all my friends in Ithaca,” daughter Jane said during the toast.

Douglas and Pat (who was married to Mimi’s cousin-step brother) toast Mimi

Up until she was about 95, Mimi did hours of Tai chi each week, which Douglas credits for her wonderful attitude and good health. Mimi once told Douglas that if she was younger, she would want to marry him!  She sure is a pistol.

Happy Hundredth, Mimi.  And many many more!

 

Enter to Win An Exceptional At-Home Skincare Tool!

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Learn more about MicrodermMD and RejuvaliteMD and tell us below your name and email which of these two skincare tools you’d like to win and why.

6 FOFS will win either MicrodermMD or RejuvaliteMD from Trophy Skin (See official rules here). Contest closes Thursday, June 6th, 2019 at midnight E.S.T.

By entering this giveaway you agree to receive emails from FabOverFifty and Trophy Skin.

Contest limited to residents of the continental United States.

A Woman Who is Saving Thousands of Necks–Literally and Figuratively

Cathy at home with one of her four rescue dogs

Growing up in a beautiful little village about 20 miles SE of London, Cathy Kangas, now 55 years old, cared for three tortoises, one horse, dogs, and a ferret. “I had a little bit of a farm going right there at a young age,” said Cathy, whose lifelong passion for creatures led her to create the Cathy Kangas Foundation for Animals. “We ensure that every animal is protected and loved, particularly those in animal shelters.  Two to three million healthy dogs and cats are euthanized in the United States every year,” she explained.

“We hold all the power with animals, and how we use that power shows who we are. Nothing gets my hackles up more than someone who is deliberately cruel to them,”  Cathy said. Living with her husband and four rescue dogs in New Canaan, CT, she also shelters 12 rescue horses and a rescue donkey in a barn. Not surprisingly, she sits on the board of The Humane Society of the United States.

Free The Shelters, one of  Cathy’s foundation programs, is an international campaign to unite homeless shelter animals and families by paying for adoption fees.  “Shelters have to charge these fees to offset the costs associated with the animals’ medical and food bills. But many people will say, ‘Why spend $200 for a shelter pet when I can buy a pet for $250?’ By removing that obstacle, we give shelters the chance to promote free adoption weekends,” Cathy explained.  “The first weekend we did, a year ago in Tampa Bay, FL, found homes for over 200 animals. Some had been languishing there for over two years.” Only eight to 12 animals will be adopted at this shelter on a normal weekend, Cathy said.

Giving Homes To Thousands Of  Shelter Animals

Three shelters are selected every month to participate in the Free The Shelters program. “We go where the greatest needs are,” Cathy explained, such as to a shelter in a city that’s been hard hit by a hurricane. “We’ve found homes for over 6,000 shelter animals in the last year.”

Fortunately, Cathy can promote her foundation’s work on the shopping network HSN, which has been selling her skin care brand for women over 50, Prai Beauty,  since its debut  in 1999. After being immersed in the beauty industry as a long-time Revlon employee, Cathy was annoyed when the big beauty giants hired “16-year-old models” to promote their  wrinkle cremes and firming lotions. She wanted to create an affordable luxury line which focused on the concerns of “the forgotten woman.”

The collection of about 50 Prai products includes Platinum Firm & Lift Serum and Eye Creme,24K Rose Gold Wrinkle Repair Night Butter, and Radiant Precious Oil Drops. But it’s Prai serums, cremes and concentrates for the throat, neck and decolletage areas that most set it apart from the proliferation of anti-aging brands on the market. “What woman hasn’t glanced down as she’s aging and suddenly thought, ‘OMG all those crinkles have popped up out of nowhere,’” Cathy said. “It’s such a vulnerable delicate area of skin where you get the vertical lines when you wake up, the tree trunk lines around the neck, the double chin and turkey wattle. It’s the area that shows the first telltale signs of aging.”

Saving Our Necks Too

The Prai AGELESS Throat & Decolletage Creme is the company’s number one seller worldwide. “We sell one jar every 60 seconds around the world,” Cathy said. “The complex of ingredients make the creme feel like no other on planet earth. Press your fingers against it and it springs up and down like a trampoline when you’re bouncing on it,” she added. “It’s made with a plant-derived, wrinkle-correcting agent  from France, called Sepilift, that firms, tightens and restores elasticity to the skin by stimulating the concentration of collagen fibers,” Cathy explained. “I call this smoothing and moisturizing creme Spanx for your neck and throat because it scoops all that nasty, jiggly stuff back up to where it used to be.”

One of Prai’s stunning models over 50

Prai Beauty is certified cruelty free by Leaping Bunny and Peta. “Leaping Bunny is the gold standard and is very difficult to get. We  feel very strongly about not testing on animals and we’re happy to make that higher standard,” Cathy stressed. Besides selling on HSN, Prai is available on QVC around the world and at all Marks and Spencer and Boots stores in the UK. “We use a 68-year-old model in our ads across the UK , so women can feel she’s just like them,” Cathy said. “When you get to be in your 50s, you’re successful, enjoying life, and doing things you want to do. You don’t want to be 20 again, but all the beauty ads for anti-aging products use young models. ‘Oh, that’s not me,’ you think.”   Prai also works with five models on its monthly HSN shows who are in their 50s through their 70s. “Our 75-year-old neck model is on every show. An 82-year-old applied to be a model, too,” Cathy noted.

Cathy originally wanted to be a barrister in England, but after working as a Revlon intern in the United States right out of college, she decided the law would be “way too boring.” So she accepted a permanent offer to work at the beauty giant in America, later became a citizen, and launched a successful career. Combining her love of animals with her love of beauty, Cathy donates a portion of each Prai Beauty sale to her animal rescue efforts. Now she’s saving thousands of cats and dogs, not to mention our necks!