alexw SAID:

I have a very overweight friend who makes me feel guilty when I order healthy or go to the gym. I lost 40 pounds the hard way & she feels like I “rub it in” by making healthy choices. Help!!

3 Answers

  1. Diane Danvers Simmons wrote on :

    I suppose the first hard question to ask is …’Has she actually said this to you and are you rubbing it in?”
    The truth is you shouldn’t have any guilt, you’ve done nothing wrong and instead of being happy for you, your friend is clearly jealous.
    Unfortunately all to often our friends want us to stay in a place that makes them feel comfortable.Some friends don’t like change as it makes them question their own situation.
    One then has to choose, is this a friend that supports me or wants me to hang out in the Pity Pit with them ?
    In a kind but honest way you need to let your friend know that this a conscious choice which you made that took hard work…YOU OWNED IT and made a decision to take ownership of your health ,your whole being …..You FELT the pain of not being happy about your health and weight and now you’ve lifted the burden and are LIVING life the way you want to.
    Sometimes we have to say OK …is the person really a true friend? Friends shouldn’t make us feel bad for our accomplishments.Ask yourself ,is this new or is this a consistent pattern with this friend?
    YOU should feel so happy and proud of your accomplishments,so don’t let anyone rain on your parade my friend ….well done!

  2. Rosanne Leslie wrote on :

    Never, ever feel guilty about your accomplishments! Stay strong in your resolve to be and feel healthy. Hopefully you will end up inspiring your friend to follow in your path to being fit. This is a great quote and reminder of how to keep friends in check: “Friends love misery, especially if we are too lucky, too successful or too pretty–our misery is the only thing that endears us to our friends.” Erica Jong

  3. Betsy Karp wrote on :

    hi :)) your friend probably feels bad about herself and her weight and she is most likely jealous of you. The nicest thing you can do is just to encourage her to possibly start eating some foods that she likes that are healthy… such as oranges, fruit, healthy nuts, salmon and help support her to feel good. Even if it is the smallest baby steps to start a new regime. Be helpful and turn it all around, be positive for all. Say it kindly and with LOVE and tell her how hard it was for you and that it takes baby steps of healthy, colorful choices every day to start to loose weight and feel better about yourself.

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