Edgar cheated on me during our 12-year relationship.
Bill Clinton cheated on Hilary.
John Edwards cheated on Elizabeth.
Brad Pitt cheated on Jennifer.
Jack Welsh cheated on Jane.
Prince Charles cheated on Diana.
Elizabeth Taylor cheated on Eddie.
Meg Ryan cheated on Dennis, although he cheated on her, too. (see Lynn’s comment below).
Jennifer Lopez cheated on Chris.
Tori Spelling cheated on Charlie.
Many people cheat. Men. And Women. I’m sure you know many who have.
But Tim and FOF friend, Melanie, have never cheated on one another in their 32 years of marriage and never will. I would bet my life on it. If Tim could spend every hour of every day next to Melanie, he would. He wouldn’t cheat anyone, anytime, anywhere. And Melanie, who wants to please Tim 24/7, wouldn’t cheat if George Clooney wanted to take her away with him.
So when Melanie told me she thinks there “should be a little bit of mistrust” in every relationship, I thought she was bonkers. “Why should there be a single shred of mistrust?” I asked. If you don’t trust someone unequivocally who you’ve been with for 32 years, whom do you trust?
Maybe Melanie and Tim’s marriage has been so successful because each of them is always a little scared the other will leave. I couldn’t operate that way. Worrying “a little” that someone I love will leave me or cheat on me seems to be an awful waste of energy. It wouldn’t excite me. I worried about Edgar for 12 years and it didn’t make me want him more. It made me anxious. I don’t do well with anxious. I could have saved a lot of unnecessary anxiety if I had had the guts to leave.
But if a little mistrust excites Melanie and Tim, who am I to complain? I’ve never had a relationship as long lasting as theirs. And I never will.
Maybe they have a point.