Dreams of consciousness

“Finally, one of my dreams came true,” I heard a boy, around 10, say to his dad as they passed me on the street today.

The kid’s statement made me smile, and then I realized I’m not a big dreamer, except when I’m asleep.

I never dreamed that a tall, dark, handsome and rich man would sweep me off my feet. I married a tall, fair, handsome man, who wasn’t the sweeper type. I was the breadwinner.

I never dreamed I’d live in a pretty house, with a big backyard, surrounded by a white picket fence. The biggest space I’ve lived in during the last 40 years has been a 1,400-square-foot apartment. The only thing surrounding it was other apartments.

I never dreamed I’d be like June Cleaver, surrounded by a completely  normal, smiling and content family.  I’m a mix of Roseanne, Dorothy, Lucy and Alice Kramden and my kids are definitely not Wally and The Beav.

I never dreamed I’d be a divorced, self-sufficient woman and mother to two grown children who call me “Maz” and “Geri”;  that I’d  wear hearing aids, have thinning hair and upper arms I’d prefer to cover; that I’d spend my sixties sitting in front of a machine that connects me with thousands of the world’s greatest women.

I never dreamed I’d open something  called an email from one of these women and read: “Geri, I have to tell you, I really miss Oprah. She was my connection to the outside world and what was going on that I didn’t know about and the show gave me some good conversations. Even though she was my neighbor, we never met, and there is an empty part of my day that hasn’t been replaced. Nate doesn’t quite do it, although he really is very cute (I  did meet him at a neighborhood block party a few years ago and his mom is an old friend of a friend in Minneapolis, where I lived for a while). All this to say that when I read your blog I feel like there is a real person out there. I find myself replying to your comments. So thanks! (Even if you are long distance). If you have time you ought to come down [to Florida] for a few days and play with us. It would be a blast.” Maxine

Maybe I’ve never allowed myself the luxury of dreaming because I’ve compulsively spent so much time doing. I don’t dream of the possibilities of tomorrow because I think everything is possible today. No matter. How could I have possibly dreamed of leading such an interesting and fulfilling life, filled with people like Maxine? Now, if only I could have dreamy arms!


6 Responses to “Dreams of consciousness”

  1. Geri says:

    Hi Sharon,

    We’ll have a party in Florida for all of us, this winter. Tried to call you during the hurricane. Did you get the message?

    Joking about arms….:)

    oxo

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    • sharon Segal says:

      Geri, Yes. I thought it was safer out of Long Beach. See you. Sharon

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  2. sharon Segal says:

    Geri, I hope when you come down to Florida you call me. I too read your ” words” each day. I would not worry about your arms . There are more important things in this world to worry about ! Have a great day

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  3. Vera J says:

    I feel the same! I look forward each morning to Geri’s blog! Really does start my day. I know you have a life outside of faboverfifty (!) but I really miss not getting a new post on the weekends.

    And when the site was being revamped I was really worried that there might not be a “Geri’s blog” anymore. LOL

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  4. Geri says:

    Hi Cecile,

    I will, this winter!

    oxo

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  5. Cecile says:

    YES, YES!!! DO come to Florida and play with us!!! It will indeed be a blast! Maxine is so very right! Your blog is the second thing I read every morning! It’s the kick-off. So, thanks for keeping me, as well as Maxine, connected…

    Have a great day everybody!

    Cécile

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