When I was married to Douglas throughout my twenties and thirties, and the breadwinner much of the time, I would sometimes sneak clothes I bought into the apartment. How crazy was that? What would have caused me to fear my husband’s reaction? How could an independent woman be so spineless? Was I guilty buying something I shouldn’t? Did I feel I was denying Douglas something?
Truth is, I was not the only successful woman who hid purchases from her hubby. I’ve heard over the years from friends and colleagues who even kept high-priced jewelry a military secret. They paid the credit card bills so they didn’t worry about being caught. To this day, I know FOF women who still shop surreptitiously.
It’s pretty easy to be secretive because most men have the observatory ability of a giraffe. Their heads are in the clouds when it comes to what we wear.
I also was scared to tell Douglas when I broke a bookend he loved while I was cleaning our apartment. I was 24. And I was frantic when I accidentally broke the delicate glass hurricane lamp shade that Edgar inherited from his grandmother. He was out of town, which gave me days to run around antique stores to find a shade like it. I found one that was close enough. He never knew what happened.