Adam, my 31-year-old yoga instructor, is adorable. So is Peter, my aunt’s 41-year-old oncologist. I also know more than my fair share of attractive men in their early 50s. Even in my fantasies, I can’t see myself sexually with a single one of them. I’m 62 and no young man in his right mind could possibly think I have a great bod. I actually have a pretty good shape for a woman in her sixth decade, but it’s a far cry from how I looked years ago when I weighed 130 pounds and my body fat was around 3 percent. Even if a much younger man was attracted to me, I wouldn’t be anything more than flattered.
If my body isn’t the same as it was in 1989, neither are my sexual desires. Sex, simply, is not a big-ticket item with me, or with the majority of women in my generation. When I say sex, I don’t mean affection and intimacy…embracing, cuddling, kissing or a little fondling. Nor do I mean comfort, caring and love. Those acts mean a great deal to most of us.
I’m not suggesting that all boomer women either shun sex or feel ambivalent about it. (A divorced, 65-year-old friend adores it.) It just doesn’t consume or preoccupy us as it did many years ago, notwithstanding hormonal changes. What’s more, we don’t think there’s anything wrong with less frequent sex. Of course, we want to look attractive, often even sexy, and we do. I feel better about myself than ever. So do the dozens of women I interviewed for faboverfifty.com, which will launch in January.
If I needed or wanted sex to be a bigger factor in my life—don’t forget, I didn’t say affection, caring and intimacy—I could log on to http://longevity.about.com/od/healthyagingandlongevity/tp/sex_tips_women.htm for 10 tips on a better sex life for older women.
Or, I could just continue to feel great about everything else I’m doing to make this the most thrilling time of my life.