I’m not exactly dying to talk about this

He was well prepared

When we had our first child, my husband and I were advised to make sure we had a will, life insurance and named a guardian. Great advice.  Although we were in our early thirties, and weren’t thinking about dying just yet, what if we had an accident?  Who would take care of son? Our savings were practically non-existent at the time, so where would the money come to support him?

Fast-forward. Even though Colby is 31 and Simone is about to be 29 (old enough to take care of and support themselves), I met today with FOF lawyer, Ellyn Mittman, to talk about the same two subjects: Life insurance and my will.

Hopefully, I’m not passing out of the picture any time soon, but since I’ve acquired some assets during the last three decades, a will is even more important than it was back in the day. Do I leave my co-op apartment to both my children, even though my daughter lives in it?   Can I add their names to the lease and shares?  What if Colby wants to sell the co-op and Simone doesn’t? It won’t really matter to me when I’m gone, but it would be nice to think they won’t be fighting over this, either.

And do I really need life insurance now? I know someone who spends $25,000 a year on insurance so her grown daughter will have a $1,000,000 some day.  As far as I’m concerned, that is nuts. My father once said to me: “When I die, there won’t be anything left.” He was right.  I never expected an inheritance and I never got one.  I didn’t love him one bit less.

Do the money and property we leave behind make our children love us more?

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0 Responses to “I’m not exactly dying to talk about this”

  1. Beryl says:

    My family is very large and when my relatives die, there is never any inheritance. This is exactly as expected and is fine. My husband had a very small family and when they died, he always inherited. This was often a surprise and was always better.

  2. Maravonda says:

    But I’m not bitter or anything… 😉

  3. Maravonda says:

    I don’t have much, but would happily fill out a do-it-yourself will and have it notarized…your post makes me think that perhaps I should. My home is in my name, and therefore goes to my daughter, and her alone…but it would be nice to have the few pieces of nice jewelry bequeathed to people I care about. As far as the present spouse goes…I’ve supported him through these 4 years of marriage for no reason except that he suddenly felt that being “kept” was a rather nice concept, and refuses to work or do much of anything else…I am thinking of giving him my used socks….the ones with holes in them from my working my butt off on my feet as a nurse…

  4. Toby Wollin says:

    It’s really important to get things down on paper, if for no other reason that this is a way for you to make sure of who gets what, even if it’s an old fur coat or grandmother’s silver spoons or the one Steuben(tm) glass dish. It’s amazing how petty people get. And how horrible things can get.

  5. LPC says:

    I only wish inheritances, and all their glories and horrors, were more openly discussed.


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