My FOF friend and her husband are living with their separated daughter, her four-year-old son and one of her male friends. Other boarders include four dogs; the daughter and her friend each have a dog and my friend has two dogs. My friend’s two-bedroom apartment is not especially big.
I don’t know how my friend keeps her sanity. She helps take care of her grandson when her daughter is at work. She walks the dogs. She cooks for everyone. She also has a full-time job as a teacher, which is demanding all by itself. And she has a 90-something year old mother who needs her attention.
Many adult “kids” are being forced to live with their parents because they can’t afford to live on their own. When grandchildren are involved, not to mention dogs, it’s no picnic. I admire FOFs who want to help their children, but I wonder at what cost. I love my children, and I will help them most any way I can, but if they were always underfoot at this point in my life, it would drive me nuts.
Back in the day, a widow would often move in with her son’s or daughter’s family. Now FOFs are so independent–financially and emotionally– many of us wouldn’t dream of moving in with our kids.