He Knows How To Deal With Pests (And Women)

Keith Goodman jokingly calls his 90-year-old mom, “Angie The Terrible” because she “takes over” every chance she gets. When he set her up in the 1,000-square-foot finished basement in his house, after Angela had surgery, she was upstairs constantly. She stayed for four months, and then Keith bought her a condominium nearby. Even though Angela has a companion who comes to help her out eight hours a day, “she’s up making herself breakfast before the woman arrives,” Keith told me. “She only watches Channel 11. Thinks it’s just for her. Loves the Maury (Povich) Show.” Gotta love Angela.

Gotta love Keith, too.

He’s a dream 51-year-old son for any mom on the face of the earth. Visits Angela every single day, often more than once. Lays out her meds. Brings her favorite cake. Makes sure her companion is cooking her fave dinner. Mashed potatoes and fish are a dinner of choice. When Keith recently disagreed with something Angela wanted, she admonished him, firmly saying, “I’m the mother!”

Keith was referred to me by my Brooklyn-wise pal, Nadine, who sold me my new (old) house, and owns a couple of houses nearby. “He’s a great exterminator, and very reasonable,” she said. The plumber working on the renovations in my home discovered an unsavory creature in the cellar, and I needed (was desperate!) to get ahold of Keith pronto. He called me back minutes after I left a message on his cell and made an appointment to check out the house.

One look around and Keith discovered the creature’s point of entry. Luckily, he also came face to face with it and did it in! I actually felt sorry for the varmint, for about 42 seconds. When Keith finished doing his exterminator thing, we chatted on and on, about his mom Angela; about his two daughters, both in their twenties (one is a CrossFit expert living in Scottsdale, AZ), and about his current wife of 20+ years. Not surprisingly, Keith is a good ex-husband. He helps his former wife around her house, and even went with her to see their athletic daughter in a competition.

Keith is a woman’s man, and when he heard that I published a website for women 45+ he told me he was thinking of “checking it out so he can better understand the old babes.” Normally, I wouldn’t want to be called an “old babe,” but coming from Keith’s lips it actually sounded adorable, and sexy. Trust me, he didn’t mean it to be derogatory, so please don’t take offense!

Keith has plenty of opportunity to learn about women because he’s in their homes all the time, as an exterminator, that is! He can tell you about everything from their housekeeping habits (many Brooklyn models have “messy homes”) to their child-bearing customs (one client has nine children and she’s in her early 30s).

When I asked how much I owed him, Keith told me $100! I was dumbfounded. Nadine told me he was reasonable, but I never imagined his fee would be this reasonable. We New Yorkers often get “taken to the cleaners,” and that includes the actual cleaners. (I paid $31 last week to have a three-piece silk outfit cleaned, for example.)

“How come you charge so little?” I asked Keith.

“I want you as a continuing customer,” he answered. “I’ve been seeing some of my clients for many years.” While I hope I won’t have to call on Keith too often, he can count me in as a customer. He told me he’s coming back this week to check on my house. Now that’s customer service!

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P.S For those FOFriends who live in New York, Keith’s can be reached at 917.309.3508. His company is called Pest Pros.

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