I spent last Saturday in my apartment, completely alone (not counting dog Rigby and cat Remy), sleeping on and off throughout the day, doing nothing in between the zzzz’s. It was glorious. David was visiting a prisoner in Rhode Island (he’s a defense attorney), and wasn’t returning till after 6, so I had hours to myself. The weather was damp and dreary, a bit of chill in the fall air, which made staying home even cozier. I didn’t want to see or speak to a soul, which is impossible to do when you step outside in Manhattan at any hour.
The solitude couldn’t have come at a better time, after months of non-stop planning for the September 29th FOF Beauty Bash, which involved hundreds of conversations and countless meetings. I briefly entertained going for a manicure, which I desperately needed, but quickly thought it could wait.
Choosing to be alone is different, of course, than being lonely. While loneliness is not a happy feeling, voluntary aloneness can be delightful. You’re accountable to no one. You put your concerns on hold. You don’t have to utter a word. Or think a single meaningful thought. It gives you a chance to recharge your batteries.
I’ve often thought that I’d like to go to Paris alone. I’d jump on a different Metro line every day and get off at stops I didn’t know, to explore new parts of the city I love best. I’d walk for miles and enjoy dinner at places that aren’t listed in any tour guide. I’d return to my room, ready for sleep. That scenario is the polar opposite of staying home alone for a day, but the possibility excites me.
I’m blessed. I can enjoy my alone time, taking comfort that I have loving family and friends a stone’s throw, email or call away. I know that many aren’t so fortunate. They’re alone, not out of choice. They are lonely, even when they’re in a room full of people. I am sad for those who feel this way and hope they can figure out how to accept and live with themselves. Even though our world is filled with billions of people, this is one of the secrets of leading a happy life.
0 Responses to “Me, myself and I”
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Sally says:
Geri, your article really touched a chord for me. I LOVE the quiet in being alone. No television or radio or husband asking for something. Please know that I adore him – he is my heart and yet when he is off golfing or riding his motorcycle it is so very peaceful.
He can’t stand the quiet and I can’t get enough. We both had demanding careers with lots of people contact and we both came from large families with rowdy brothers but we are so different in this regard. I’ve asked women friends and it seems that this is the case more often off. Perhaps this is a female trait. I would research it but it would require to much interaction LOL.
Geri says:
Hi Sally,
Your comments made me chuckle. Yes, it may be a female trait. When my grandmother had a heart attack, and my mother went out of town to see her, I had to go to make my father dinner and keep him company. I was in my twenties and he was around 50.
G.
Susan Palumbo says:
Someone asked me who I liked to hang around with the most. I thought for a moment and then I said “ME!”
susan says:
I so enjoyed reading the comments as I thought maybe I might be so extreme to really enjoy my own company so much. I was raised as a only child by my Grandparents and so really was alone alot but read and painted so I never got lonely. I had many friends all through my life so I can say I am not introverted. I have a demanding job at a hospital as Patient Rep and see so many people all day and constantly talking to them. I can not wait to get home and be quiet (my husband is retired so he is so eager to talk) tables turned on me now that I work and he doesn’t!! My perfect weekend is to sleep late, read my favorite mags, walk the dogs and then sit and be quick. I get my best ideas or thoughts when wverything is so quiet. I truly feel sorry for folks who live on their phones and computers, I feel they are the lonely souls and I am the so furtunate one.
Sandra says:
I so agree, my kids (all grown), sometimes worry-“oh, mom but you’re all alone”-
I always tell them not to worry I actually enjoy my own company.
SUSAN G says:
My husband knows that my morning routine is MY TIME…. me, my oatmeal, my coffee and my newspaper and don’t anyone dare talk to me during that time…. We are so over-stimulated with multitasking that we NEED time to ourselves and not everyone can handle that. I dream of a weekend alone somewhere…. just me and my thoughts…..
Patricia says:
I once read that if you are content being, and living , alone…then you should say “I live WITH myself “, instead of “I live BY myself”. I have lived with myself for many many years. And I couldn’t ask for a better roommate. When I want company; friends and family are there. And they understand my lifestyle because I have always been open and honest about it. Nobody feels slighted and our times together are all the more meaningful for it. Loved your article!
Me, Myself and I
Geri says:
Loved your comments Patricia!
Debra S says:
I LOVE being alone lately…. I LONG and wish and pray that my semi-retired husband would just get a hobby- fishing, going to every sports game, puttering ANYTHING please gods…. just get him oFF the sofa and out of the house………………..
I find myself keeping busy and doing things just to get away from him and that bloody TV.
Mindy says:
I so agree! I cherish those moments (although few and far between) when my husband has things to do on Saturdays and is totally off the property! Even cleaning is more enjoyable in silence and solitude!
Blue Bear says:
AMEN, Geri! I don’t really know what it is about wanting to be alone. In my case, it probably stems from years upon years of working with so many people, being married to a man whose job required we entertain constantly, having a job myself that required massive travel – or whatever. Now that I’m retired and 67, I simply feel no need to be around people. I spend most of my days now very content and with my retired husband in his room and I in mine – both of us on computers. I love it when he goes fishing for the entire day and I am even more alone! I’m a gourmet cook and I indulge my creative side cooking meals that take hours to put together. I read a great deal. I write long letters to people I care about. I lived eight years in London and traveled throughout Europe. Eight more years in the Far East and more travel. I’ve seen the world and catered to my family. Now, it’s my turn to be Greta Garbo and I’m loving every second of it! Lonely? Never! Alone? Bliss!
heather Chapple says:
Ah…. your Paris idea sounds fab!
I love being alone and sometimes wonder how long it would take before I got lonely!
Wondering if you wouldn’t mind having the link to Concrete Jungle updated
it is concretejungledesign.blogspot.com
Hope you do get to try the Paris idea…..London would be another fun spot to try it out in.
Cheers Heather