Oh, To Have Sex Like I Did at 40!

Dear FOFriends,

Starting today, FOF is bringing you SEXcellent, a titillating new section to help you rev up your sex life or transform it from pretty good to out of sight.


I recently watched my very first sex how-to video (I swear), called 12 Ways To Boost Your Libido, which is part of the Live Better, Love Better Video Series produced by a company called The Sinclair Institute.  Then I grabbed the cute little turquoise vibrator they sent, as well as a set of pliable penis rings, and went to have sex with David.

I won’t be going into details here, but I can report that the sexually explicit video—not to mention the devices—made an impression. This is not porn. The video features honest-to-goodness, heterosexual couples performing erotically realistic acts, including imaginative sensual foreplay and lovemaking, oral loving, and many more advanced sexual positions.  A sexuality expert offers concise commentary and helpful suggestions, which are followed by typical couples demonstrating key elements, skills and techniques in honest, realistic and sensitive ways.

The couples aren’t actors. They’re not faking a thing (more on that later).  The video is designed “to aid in adult sex education and help individuals learn about sexuality in the privacy of their homes,” said Kathy Brummitt, who produces the films and oversees Sinclair customer acquisition. “The explicit scenes in each video, produced with input from certified sex educators and therapists, are portrayed within the context of loving and committed relationships.  They’re designed to encourage couples to interact more openly and creatively and to introduce topics many find difficult or embarrassing to discuss,” Kathy explained.

Couples who watch together report that the videos themselves are “instant aphrodisiacs, because they show real couples demonstrating the joys of real lovemaking,” Kathy said.


Sinclair was founded in 1991 “for adults who want to improve the quality of intimacy and sex in their relationships,” Kathy added. “No one person is responsible. Many of us worked on that project together—myself included. We saw the need to give our customers honest, straightforward, accurate sexual health information and frankly, permission to enjoy pleasure. We put together an amazing team of sexual health advisors from the professional community who could help us bring our passion to those who needed information and inspiration.  As a FOF woman myself, I know that most of us never received a proper sexual education. I’ve been with Sinclair since its inception and I can honestly tell you that I’m still learning!

A group of videos show couples how to overcome sexual problems that come with being FOF, including erectile dysfunction, reentering the dating scene and rekindling passion when sex becomes blah.

When I read an ad about the videos in an issue of AARP’s newspaper, I wanted to talk directly to someone at Sinclair and, happily, connected with Kathy and Betsy Grondy, customer acquisition manager. I was impressed when Betsy told me that Sinclair was featured on the Discovery Channel’s Sex in America program, which presented a study—the first of its kind since the 1940s — of the American people’s sex lives as conducted by Indiana University. A segment of the program took viewers behind the scenes during the production of one of the videos, now part of Sinclair’s extensive video library.


Kathy introduced me to Deborah and Dick (not their real names), a California couple who has been featured in a number of Sinclair’s videos since 2006. Married as long, 34-year-old Deborah and 43-year-old Dick had a satisfying sex life before participating in the videos, but have since “learned to have more fun, to explore and try new things,” Deborah said. “Sinclair has become like a second family for us.  The company has such nice people, who are fun and great to work with,” Dick added.

“We have a very open relationship when it comes to communication.  If something is on my mind, I’ll talk about it.  We live out each other’s fantasies,” Dick said. “Yet Sinclair has opened up another doorway for us, including role playing that we would never have thought about.  We did a Fifty Shades of Grey scene for a video, for example, and we’ve incorporated a little of that role-playing at home.

“Sex is taboo for the majority of people in the US,” Dick believes, “and these videos make you realize it’s okay to talk about it. When sex isn’t good, there probably is no communication or experimentation. Explore with each other.  Sex starts at the dinner table, not in the bed.”

“The videos encouraged me to relax and enjoy myself, Deborah explained. “I can let go of everything that’s on my mind, which usually inhibits good sex, and enjoy just us, from our body language to our chemistry.”

“Finding couples is the hardest part of producing a quality film!” Kathy said. “I should count my blessings about that because if it was easy, everyone could do what we do. We look for couples in committed relationships –aren’t in the adult industry, don’t have ‘bionic’ body parts and are articulate. Talking about sexuality turns out to be harder for most couples than participating on camera.”

Do you fake your orgasms for the video? I asked. Deborah. “Never. Faking it is not enjoying it,” she matter-of-factly answered.


I’m excited to introduce today a partnership between Sinclair and FabOverFifty. Each month, for the next six months, we’re going to offer complimentary videos to FOF couples or singles that want to experience the best sex lives possible. There’s no place for shyness and embarrassment here. We want FOF men and women who are willing to be open and try new things.

Our goal is to feature people each month who view the video of their choice, personally apply what they learned and talk about the results openly and honestly.  The review can appear anonymously.  We’ll change your names for the article.

I invite you to explore Sinclair’s website now, whether or not you think you have an explosive sex life.

Comment below about which of these educational videos you’d like to watch and WHY.

TIP: Leading therapists and doctors especially like Sinclair’s Better Sex Series, which shows men and women in their 40s, 50s, 60s—and older—that the best sex of their lives can be enjoyed right now!

Twelve FOFs will win. (See all our past winners, here.) (See official rules, here.) Contest closes March 28th, 2013 at midnight E.S.T. Contest limited to residents of the continental U.S.

0 Responses to “Oh, To Have Sex Like I Did at 40!”

  1. Sheila says:

    I would be interested in watching the Boost your Libido, Longer & Stronger, and Great Sex for a lifetime. My husband and I have been together over thirty years. I think I know alot better now that size is not all it’s cracked up to be if nothing exciting about it is going on. I can’t seem to help him without an argument or making him pull away from me for years. We lost something. I like him to pursue me. I don’t feel comfortable pursuing him. But he says that’s what might help. Please help!

  2. Shelly says:

    The Better Sex Videos would be fabulous to try. We have always had great sex, and we seem to be getting a little “ho-hum”…I want to try something in a preventive way…thanks for your consideration.

  3. Carol says:

    I would love the Boost Your Libido and the Better Sex Video Series. It has been a long time since my husband has been “in the mood” and he needs a bit more help that I have been able to offer or find for him.

    • Sheila says:

      I have the same problem in my house. Stuck.

  4. dana says:

    Any of them would be great. After being married 25 years, I’m with a new partner and need to ‘open up’ a bit. Thanks for the opportunity.

  5. Teresa says:

    Boosting the Libido and Great Sex for a lifetime. Our sex life has all but become non-existent but we remain to have agreat marriage. We just need to get the “spark” back. We are good without it but we know how great it would beto have that back again!

  6. GAYLE says:

    Kama Sutra and Great Oral Sex. I have a great marriage and relationship and want to keep it that way. Life is going fast. I want to enjoy every day.

  7. peg says:

    Kama Sutra, and Better sex for a lifetime sound amazing. they all sound amazing and very beneficial.

  8. Ellen says:

    After years of inactivity, I need to boost my confidence with my partner. Please. Allow me to try. I don’t care which, except I don’t really need the self-pleasuring one. I have that one down, thank you!

  9. Debbie Nye says:

    I am game for any aid for our sex life which is virtually nonexistent.

  10. Lauren says:

    Great Sex for a Lifetime, Kama Sutra and the Better Sex….after 30 years of marriage, things get blah and routine and predictable…so yes, I think we could use a boost!!

  11. Jane says:

    wow! I’d take them all but to start-Great sex for a lIfe time and OraL…My honey is quick about everything… after 25 years of great sex (my husband passed away 10 years ago) my now great love, is quick with everything! These tapes would be great!

  12. Sudeshna Sengupta says:

    All of them look good — we will be interested in any or all of them because anyone interested in life should never stop learning about such an interesting topic.

  13. StChienne says:

    Great Sex for a Lifetime and Great Oral Sex for starters…if they are fun and easy to use, I’m guessing we won’t stop at two!

  14. Cherie says:

    Well, I’m thinking, “Longer, Stronger” ( and more often) and the “Boost Your Libido”. The “Better Sex Video Series” works for me. My husband and I are old dogs who could use some new tricks. We would love to try this!

  15. Marygrace says:

    Yes please! Learning something new about sex after 55 would be my pleasure.

  16. smfsprout says:

    Lets start with 12 Ways to Boost your Libido, followed by The Joy of Erotic Massage and finish off with A Lover’s Guide to Self Pleasuring. Sounds like my idea of a fun weekend.

  17. mandradany says:

    Please let me win something, I’ open and willing to do anything educational and challenging. Thanks.

  18. ellen herbert says:

    Better Sex Series, Erotic Massage. Could use alot of this!

  19. Cheryl Evans says:

    Since my husband and I haven’t had sex in almost 4 years (not because I didn’t want to), anything would be welcomed. Since he’s already been tested to have low testosterone and has NO sex drive at all….I am living a life of no touching, hugging or anything else. Do they demonstrate well enough for a STuBBORn man to understand? It’s worth a try, if I can get him to watch them. If its not an old rerun, he may not take the time. Sad since we’ve only been married a little over 6 years.

  20. Deborah says:

    I would like to start with the video Longer and Stronger, just to see if we could find some information to help my friend. Second we would like to try the Erotic Massage it looks really interesting. Next one would probably be the Kama Sutra. Then just go from there. They all look really interesting.

  21. Sandy says:

    Sorry – a little distracted – I should have answered the question: The Better Sex, or the Kama Sutra. Great Oral Sex would do, as well.

  22. Sandy says:

    Let’s go.

  23. Charlotte Walker says:

    Um, let’s see…the erotic massage, the oral sex, g-spot, self pleasuring…okay, I’m a greedy so-and-so. Still, all those mentioned look good to me…especially the self-pleasuring ’cause I need to learn to do it for myself. (cue the Eurhythmics and Aretha Franklin)..;-)

  24. Debbie says:

    After looking at just the video covers, I can honestly say that I don’t know of any FOFs that look that good, male or female. I am very disappointed. I personally think it would be much better to have REAL people doing these videos. Especially considering the fact that the FOFs are the target audience in this newsletter. Just saying.

    • Geri says:

      Hi Debbie,

      As I say in the blog, all of Sinclair’s videos feature real people. The fact that these people have great bodies has nothing to do with the content on the video, which is designed to show men and women OF EVERY AGE how to really enjoy sex.

      Learning to have great sex from good looking people is still learning how to have great sex. Personally, I wouldn’t want to watch someone having sex who looked like I do nude.


  25. Cindy says:

    I would like two–the erotic massage. I get tired of “let’s just do sex”–how about more sensual? And the oral sex video–my husband is good at giving, but I don’t think that I am so good at giving. Thanks.

  26. Constance says:

    Now about to turn 52 and getting ready for a new marriage; I’d like to keep up or improve to keep this new marriage going. Thanks for the opportunity.

  27. BlueBear says:

    I’d like the video which tells how to deal with erectile dysfunction. Partner is uninterested in sex because of his frustration over this issue and I am sad because I miss our intimacy. He has taken each of the pills available and they give him terrible side effects, e.g. heartburn. We’re at an impasse and it shouldn’t be this way.

  28. Laurie says:

    I would like a copy of the Maximizing G-Spot Pleasures because the G-Spot has always been a favorite territory of mine!

  29. Merry says:

    I’d like to learn from the video on the art of erotic massage as I think that massage is such an important part of love making.

  30. Patty says:

    always good to learn new things

  31. Carrie obrien says:

    The video series box set looks awesome!

  32. Helen says:

    PLE-E-EASE. I just need it…

  33. Marcelle Cole says:

    Thank you for the opportunity!!


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