Starting today, FOF is bringing you SEXcellent, a titillating new section to help you rev up your sex life or transform it from pretty good to out of sight.
I recently watched my very first sex how-to video (I swear), called 12 Ways To Boost Your Libido, which is part of the Live Better, Love Better Video Series produced by a company called The Sinclair Institute. Then I grabbed the cute little turquoise vibrator they sent, as well as a set of pliable penis rings, and went to have sex with David.
I won’t be going into details here, but I can report that the sexually explicit video—not to mention the devices—made an impression. This is not porn. The video features honest-to-goodness, heterosexual couples performing erotically realistic acts, including imaginative sensual foreplay and lovemaking, oral loving, and many more advanced sexual positions. A sexuality expert offers concise commentary and helpful suggestions, which are followed by typical couples demonstrating key elements, skills and techniques in honest, realistic and sensitive ways.
The couples aren’t actors. They’re not faking a thing (more on that later). The video is designed “to aid in adult sex education and help individuals learn about sexuality in the privacy of their homes,” said Kathy Brummitt, who produces the films and oversees Sinclair customer acquisition. “The explicit scenes in each video, produced with input from certified sex educators and therapists, are portrayed within the context of loving and committed relationships. They’re designed to encourage couples to interact more openly and creatively and to introduce topics many find difficult or embarrassing to discuss,” Kathy explained.
Couples who watch together report that the videos themselves are “instant aphrodisiacs, because they show real couples demonstrating the joys of real lovemaking,” Kathy said.
THE SINCLAIR STORY
Sinclair was founded in 1991 “for adults who want to improve the quality of intimacy and sex in their relationships,” Kathy added. “No one person is responsible. Many of us worked on that project together—myself included. We saw the need to give our customers honest, straightforward, accurate sexual health information and frankly, permission to enjoy pleasure. We put together an amazing team of sexual health advisors from the professional community who could help us bring our passion to those who needed information and inspiration. As a FOF woman myself, I know that most of us never received a proper sexual education. I’ve been with Sinclair since its inception and I can honestly tell you that I’m still learning!
A group of videos show couples how to overcome sexual problems that come with being FOF, including erectile dysfunction, reentering the dating scene and rekindling passion when sex becomes blah.
When I read an ad about the videos in an issue of AARP’s newspaper, I wanted to talk directly to someone at Sinclair and, happily, connected with Kathy and Betsy Grondy, customer acquisition manager. I was impressed when Betsy told me that Sinclair was featured on the Discovery Channel’s Sex in America program, which presented a study—the first of its kind since the 1940s — of the American people’s sex lives as conducted by Indiana University. A segment of the program took viewers behind the scenes during the production of one of the videos, now part of Sinclair’s extensive video library.
MEET DEBORAH AND DICK
Kathy introduced me to Deborah and Dick (not their real names), a California couple who has been featured in a number of Sinclair’s videos since 2006. Married as long, 34-year-old Deborah and 43-year-old Dick had a satisfying sex life before participating in the videos, but have since “learned to have more fun, to explore and try new things,” Deborah said. “Sinclair has become like a second family for us. The company has such nice people, who are fun and great to work with,” Dick added.
“We have a very open relationship when it comes to communication. If something is on my mind, I’ll talk about it. We live out each other’s fantasies,” Dick said. “Yet Sinclair has opened up another doorway for us, including role playing that we would never have thought about. We did a Fifty Shades of Grey scene for a video, for example, and we’ve incorporated a little of that role-playing at home.
“Sex is taboo for the majority of people in the US,” Dick believes, “and these videos make you realize it’s okay to talk about it. When sex isn’t good, there probably is no communication or experimentation. Explore with each other. Sex starts at the dinner table, not in the bed.”
“The videos encouraged me to relax and enjoy myself, Deborah explained. “I can let go of everything that’s on my mind, which usually inhibits good sex, and enjoy just us, from our body language to our chemistry.”
“Finding couples is the hardest part of producing a quality film!” Kathy said. “I should count my blessings about that because if it was easy, everyone could do what we do. We look for couples in committed relationships –aren’t in the adult industry, don’t have ‘bionic’ body parts and are articulate. Talking about sexuality turns out to be harder for most couples than participating on camera.”
Do you fake your orgasms for the video? I asked. Deborah. “Never. Faking it is not enjoying it,” she matter-of-factly answered.