When you want to make really fluffy whipped cream, you use an electric beater. Want to clean the living room carpet really well? Grab a steamer. Freshen up a cotton shirt? Unbury the iron, of course.
So, why not use a sex gadget to do for you what the beater does for the cream: Whip you into shape so you can have a really great orgasm, to put it as bluntly as possible. If you’ve ever experienced really great orgasms—which are unlike just plain ole good orgasms–you know just what I mean. They’re the ones that make you see red stars bursting all over the place.
Sex toys can do the job more efficiently and effectively than we can manually. Think of the electric beater versus a hand-held wire whisk. They’re especially useful when it becomes harder to get excited. Remember when all you had to do was look at your boyfriend or husband to approach orgasm? Grab a toy and away you go. You don’t even need a man, but if you’ve got one at your side, so much the better. There are toys for him, too.
Sinclair Institute sent me a boxful of toys to try out and I bought a package of AAA batteries and went to town. I especially like the clitoral pump and the 10-function Pleasure Bendie was pretty nifty, too. If you’ve never used toys, it’s never too late to start. Ordering online also takes away the embarrassment of going to a store that specializes in these things. Read some of these articles so you’ll become an expert on what’s best for you.
I’ve also starting listening to Sinclair’s Better Sex video series, called SEXPLORATIONS. The disk, titled 22 Sex Secrets, tips and turn ons, revealed that masturbation is one of the most common sexual practices in the world; it’s healthy and common to fantasize about your partner masturbating, and doing it offers four core benefits: Feels good, relieves stress, is a great substitute for sex and helps you learn about your own body. It might interest you to know that it was a sin to masturbate in the 18th Century because it didn’t lead to procreation.
I don’t think I ever uttered the word masturbation—or even knew the term—when I was a young teenager. I was, however, proficient at the practice. It’s kind of funny that we never talk about it. I’ve also noticed that we don’t get as many comments on our sex features and I think that’s because many FOFs are embarrassed to talk about the subject overall.
There was one exchange on my blog last week that I wanted to share:
Marcia: “I think the whole topic is disgusting. You’re not young anymore, so get over it. Life goes on without that boring and tedious time waster of an activity. I get more enjoyment out of a good book. Love really isn’t about sex, it’s about respect and care. And just being good friends. I refuse to fall for all those perverts out there telling me how “fulfilled” they are, or I should be, in my golden years. Hang it up and use the time more wisely volunteering or doing good for others.”
Louise: “Obviously, this section is not for you Marcia. Sorry you think one of the most fundamental experiences any human can have is disgusting to you. In a loving relationship, sex is part of the relationship as is respect and caring. You are missing out on so much. Enjoy your books.”
What’s your take?
I invite you to explore Sinclair’s website and comment below about which of these educational videos you’d like to watch and make sure to add WHY.
Twelve FOFs will win. (See all our past winners, here.) (See official rules, here.) Contest closes March 28th, 2013 at midnight E.S.T. Contest limited to residents of the continental U.S.
0 Responses to “Toy Story”
I looked through all the DVDs. I think the Better Sex Video Series would give me tons of information. Sounds like fun! I must admit, I don’t talk about this subject very much, either. But, the older I get, the more fun I’m having with it. I’ve been thinking about some of the toys, too. Thanks for the article!
Susie Hopper says:
Dear FOF: I have been without a partner for more than 10 years (divorced) and have not had sex nor masturbated in this amount of time. I used to do both, PLENTY. I don’t know what happened. Somehow, my sex drive went south and so did my list of eligible guys. I want to give it a go again. I love oral sex. I’d love to have that video and I guarantee I will write about it – and even find a willing participant. I need something to move the needle. I am 59.5 years old and tired of being outside a sexual life. It’s time to jumpstart the engine. Send me that video, please. I need it. I want it! See, I can make a move!
Regarding the comment exchange you quoted. I realize that individuals have naturally different levels of sex drive, and that different kinds of relationships work for different kinds of couples. But for someone to dismiss those who enjoy sex as “perverts” and to refer to sex as a boring waste of time — that’s just sad. This sounds like a person who has never experienced the joy of true intimacy with another person. It’s not all about just sex, and it’s not all about just friendship. It’s about everything melded together, the physical, the spiritual, the emotional, the intellectual, each enhancing the other, all inseparable.
Robbi M. says:
I am a twice-divorced FOF. Sex has mostly been an uncomfortable chore, which it was not before marriage. (#1 “put out” once a year and #2 demanded multiple daily sessions) No care was taken to ensure both parties arousal and orgasm. Therefore, since I am without a life partner, I believe that the “Lovers Guide to Self Pleasuring” would be the most appropriate for me.
Geri Brin says:
I love your comment, Robbi!
Sandra Riley says:
Wow! I was so happy to read your blog today. We hear more and more that couples should have sex at least three times a week. For this FOF and her husband we find if we have sex 4 times a month we are lucky. It is sad that our life has evolved to this, and are making an effort to change this.
As I reviewed each product above, I was excited to find that many of them would be perfect for us! I especially found Life Better, Love Better and The Joy of Erotic Massage to be what we need to get us going; however I think the Better Sex Video Series would be my choice because it covers so many topics – techniques, secrets, play with real couples and the lovers music is an added bonus!
Geri Brin says:
Your honesty is wonderful. Why do you suppose so many FOFs are embarrassed to even comment.
Seems so silly to me, when you can get something to help!
Sandra Riley says:
Hi Geri, I think it is a combination of things. FOFs, at least this one, didn’t grow up with all the information and understanding about sex – how pleasing it can be with your partner as well as on your own; and how good it is for you and your partner mentally, physically and emotionally.
Geri Brin says:
My goodness, how right you are. But it’s never too late to learn, is it?!