Vanity, thy name is not FOF

Hear! Hear! Jodie Foster

My former mother-in-law, Gerry, was pretty FOF, but she refused to admit she was losing her hearing. There was no earthly way she was going to wear a hearing aid.  That was definitely not fab, she thought. So she pretended she heard everything.  Sometimes, that was pretty amusing, like the time the waiter asked what she wanted to drink, and she answered: “I’ll have the salmon.”

My sisters and I emphatically told our mom that she should wear a small medical alert device around her neck in case she fell and needed to call for help.  She stubbornly refused, and when she did fall, she laid on the floor with a broken hip an entire night before we discovered what had happened.

If I found out I was losing my hearing, I’d run to the nearest hearing aid specialist and I’d wear medical alert devices on my wrists, ankles and neck if I knew they could save my life.

Goodness knows why the generation of women before us thought it was embarrassing to wear a hearing aid or admit their bones were weak and they might get hurt.

I like hearing and if I need to shove something in or around my ear to be able to listen to my daughter’s voice or the sound of music, I’m all for it. I’ll think of it as another accessory.

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6 Responses to “Vanity, thy name is not FOF”

  1. Geri says:

    you make a wonderful point, toby, about women not wanting help.


  2. Toby Wollin says:

    I lost my hearing as the result of having babies, so I’ve been wearing increasingly powerful hearing aids for about 25 years and now that I’ve gone into menopause, it’s changed again. I think women have the tendency to not admit to these sorts of things because it would mean that people have to go out of their way for them, to make allowances for them and I think women feel that they don’t really have the right to ask for that. I know the first time I asked for a booster for my phone, I thought I was going to lose my job. We have to get beyond that.

  3. Kirin says:

    YES! So true,Maravonda, I had to get over myself too. When you’re hearing goes it is not the time to act foolish, get yourself outfitted with best equipment you can afford, adjust your hairstyle if you must but get it done! Such a waste of time and an annoyance to everyone I’m sure,saying what? pardon me? at every turn, Could kick myself now for having been so stubborn.

  4. Geri says:

    Hi Maravonda,

    LOL at your last sentence. Agree on all counts.


  5. Maravonda says:

    Thank you for saying this! I, too, could not understand why our mothers preferred to be in a fog than hear what was happening around them. Maybe it was because old hearing aides were large and unattractive? I don’t know. But pretending this (aging) isn’t happening is certainly not any way for me to deal with it. I admit that at 54 I am frequently mad as hell at the cosmos for the things that are happening to my body and appearance these days. But better to take each thing as it comes and find a way to laugh at it and move on. Saying “WHAT?” 400 hundred times a day would only be funny for so long!

  6. g says:

    Yep, I’m with you. Although I totally understand the reluctance – it’s a form of denial. I am still in denial that my knees will only get worse, never better. I am still in denial that my eyesight will never improve.

    One thing I hope I will never do and that’s to start being afraid.

    doesn’t Jodi look fantastic? Damn.


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