Are You Friends With Your Ex?

“My marriage ended after seven years due to a lack of love and affection being shown to me by my spouse. He has a hard time showing love and affection in an adult relationship, but is a great father to our two kids. The kids were only 2 and 3 1/2 when we separated; I had heard and read so many accounts of acrimonious divorces that I decided early on that this would not happen with our divorce.

“At my insistence we agreed from the first week that we would not make any comments about each other in front of our kids; they needed to be able to continue a loving relationship with each parent. If we needed to talk over a difficult topic it would be done away from their hearing. Although I have sole custody, we did not spell out any visitation in our divorce papers; it merely said ‘visitation as mutually agreed upon.’ We even used the same lawyer in order to save money.

“We have kept this friendly relationship for over 30 years at this time; we have gone to a few things together with the kids, and I have attended his family reunion with the kids when he had to work. I also attended his mother’s funeral, and was welcomed with open arms by the whole family. Even though we are not legally married, I am still treated as part of the family. I love this as he and his family both mean a lot to me. I still love many things about him, but had to come to the realization that we are better friends than marriage partners.”

Cheryl Curtis

“No. Once you’ve crossed that bridge it’s gone.”

JoAnn Kyzer Doty

“No! The bastard belittled me and left me for my good friend. I can’t stand either one of them!”

Melody Morse

“Yep! And we had no kids. He’s even friendly with my husband. Sometimes things happen different then we plan but life goes on. I also think after you are over the hurt, and you aren’t in love with the person anymore.”

Maureen Murphy DiGiovanni

“My kids dad passed, so no. And other relationships were psychos, narcissists or cheaters. So, no again. Single is so much better.”

Jennie Calise

“With both of them and they are [friends] with my husband. We have children and now grandchildren together. I have always loved the kids and grandkids more than I have disliked them.”

Kim Meneghetti

“Which one?”

Bonnie Bell

“No because we weren’t friends when we were married!”

Clare Preece

“He’s a great man! Ladies…He’s 55 and single.”

Claire Britt

3 Responses to “Are You Friends With Your Ex?”

  1. Constance Simon says:

    As far as friends after the divorce…We’ll I must admit. After the divorce I couldn’t STAND him. I wouldn’t talk to him for about three years. But the longer I carried that hate the more he tried to apologize.

    I heard him and I forgave but it still did y satisfy me. I still couldn’t forget. But he was a persistent soul and kept asking for forgiveness because I wouldn’t talk to him. Well, it was harder to carry around all that hate than it was to just forgive and move on. I can now talk to him and we are better friends but I had to reason that he wasn’t the cause of all the issues. It just wasn’t meant to be and I thank God for opening y eyes about it.

    We can talk but not always and that’s all it is to it. Sometimes I can still sense from conversations the reason i chose to end the marriage. I love inner peace and me being happy. Sometimes I’m reminded from our talks that I made the right choice. Everyone is is not made to continue a friendship with an ex. That’s my story.

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    • GeriFOF says:

      It’s a good story, Constance. Thank you for sharing it!
      Geri Brin, FOF

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      • Tia Northrup Marlow says:

        We have 4 children now 21,19,13 and 12.We arent divorced but seperated.My two boys live with theeir dad and the two girls live with me.We go to each others houses for dinner,go out to dinner,I go with them up to MILs in Idaho.We still are a family and are better friends than when we lived together.

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