9 Things To Tell Your (Adult) Kids Before You Die

1. Where your will is

2. Who NOT to invite to your funeral

3. The secret ingredient to the
family's banana loaf

4. That the ceramic cat they hate
is worth $25,000

5. Where you buried your diaries

6. Your shortcomings as a parent

7. That their father is your second
(or third) husband

8. That it's never too late to
follow a new dream

9. How much you love them

  • LeissaW

    It is a final best gift you can leave your family.

  • LeissaW

    I agree. There are just some people who want to come and make a public display of their affection for the deceased. If they weren’t there when the person was alive, they don’t need to wail at the funeral.

  • Jodi Rasar

    Both of our sons live over 2500 miles away in opposite directions so both already have a copy of our Wills. One is the executor (financially able to come home when needed) so he has additional instructions, health POA, a list of all insurances policies w/contact numbers and a house key. Our arrangements have been prepaid and ready to go. I can only hope we’ve made it a tad easier for them.

  • Cindi Ann LaFountain

    Insurance policies and where located

  • Guess it depends on the kids…

  • Newzheimer

    I have written detailed instructions for my funeral into my will and as a blog entry. What I haven’t done is a list of dis-invitees. Must get working on that…now.

    • LeissaW

      The will is often only opened after the funeral. You should have some directives written separately so that they can follow your wishes.

  • Sharon Evans-Putney

    Also tell them what your end of life wishes are, how you want your funeral and that you’re an organ donor.

  • Run Jayne, run.

  • To Jayne Moy. Drink decaf or go for a run.

  • Debi Rice

    These made me smile – AND think! They also reminded me of one thing my mother told me not long ago. She said, “You know that white lamp on my bedside table?” I said, “Yeah, it’s kinda ugly”. She replied with, “Thing is worth a fortune!”. Then shorty after she gave it to me. She was worried someone might toss it out before I got to it. Gotta love moms!

  • I laughed out Loud at the 9 things I need or should tell my two sons before I die.

    Thank you

  • Nancy

    Don’t you think we all should give each other a bit of room? Why be devisive,
    and cruel.As women it’s really a shame we cannot work to be more accepting
    of each other,more supportive.I know we can do it.Together women can be
    stronger and better.We need each other.

  • Cecile Wheatley

    I forgot to mention: the notion of a guest list has me rolling on the floor!!! Why not? It’s my last party and I am the guest of honor!!!! Damned right!

  • Cecile Wheatley

    Passwords, passwords!!!!!!!! And exactly what Joann says.. close social media, and credit accounts… Now I am getting overwhelmed… the will has been drafted for years.. it’s allm this other daily-changing stuff I don’t think about..

  • Joann May

    I would add…all your social media identities and passwords to be able to close them all out!

  • Pam

    God, or no god, these tips are practical and thoughtful. Thank you.

    • Geri

      Hi Pam,

      I chucked first thing in the morning when I read your comment. So happy you like the tips!

      Geri

  • sandra may

    passwords to all your accounts, and a list of those accounts.

  • Reese Greer

    I truly loved this list. A few laughs, a few tears. A lot of truth. Just the way life is.

    • Geri

      Hi Reese,

      Thank you for your lovely comment.

      Geri

  • wendy in wyoming

    To always trust their instincts.

  • Tricia Douglas

    Great ideas! I’m forwarding these on to my two daughters right now. These little notes made me smile and I know my daughters will too.

    • Geri

      Pleased they made you smile, Tricia.

      Best, Geri

  • I was really hoping for some good solid advice on what to tell my kids- some of these are good, not indebt enough.

  • Berti

    I have already done all of the above except that I have no diaries, no priceless ceramic cat to worry about, one husband who is the father of my boys, and they pretty much already know my shortcomings as a parent since we have discussed them over the years as needed which is what I think is what we should be doing as they grow. Unconditional love has been the mantra in our home and support since before they were born and now that they are men it’s mutual – really a great thing. My oldest is already following his second dream and we swap recipes constantly. Other than the fact that not everyone can have just one marriage, isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be when you raise children? Loving, which I think should ALWAYS be number 1, caring, sharing, listening, and providing emotional support is the keystone to having a happy family and great children.

    OK, I’ll get off my soapbox now.

    I also totally agree with what Cindy West said that the additional lists of details are absolutely necessary for your spouse and your children.

  • Perfect, except get rid of the diary. I ale like the commentor who said to not give in to negative thought. “No regrets-just unconditional love.”

  • Lynne Troiano

    BEST advice given to me by my mother. Mom said that when she dies, I am not to give in to the negative thoughts that will come to me after she is gone. Thoughts like, “I wish I would have…,Why didn’t I…,How could I have been so…etc…” She told me that ours was a typical loving mother-daughter relationship with all its ups and downs and that our love is full and unconditional. Those wise words got me through her passing because I wish I would have hugged her more. Why didn’t I spend more time with her? How could I have been so dismissive? I’ve already passed on my mother’s words to my own children. No regrets-just unconditional love.

  • GiGi

    My husband died suddenly; left so many things undone. He always thought that planning for the inevitable was morbid. Financial planning is never done soon enough. There is never enough life insurance, when kids are involved.

  • Beverly Fedorko-Ott

    Agree wholeheartedly – and for whatever its worth I think the diaries should stay buried!!!

  • Cindy West

    In addition to a WILL, my father left a detailed check off list of instructions that were so helpful. He had pre-paid for his funeral expenses and gave us instructions on the ceremony such as music and verses that he would like to have included at the funeral. Who should be notified. All of his accounts we needed to close and any last minute expenses that needed to be taken care of out of his estate.

    He made it so easy for his family, so we could focus on the grieving process. A final gift from Dad.

    • Geri

      Your father was obviously a special man, Cindy. Thank you for your touching anecdote.

      Geri

      • wendy in wyoming

        Wow Cindy, I think I will do the same, how wonderful of your father, he was a thoughtful man.