DrupalWomenQ-#7875

My husband and I will be renewing our vows next year. We’re looking into having an evening wedding and will be putting “Adult reception to follow”. I know we’re going to get a few calls asking why can’t the little ones come. Would like suggestions. Thanks 😉

Please follow and like us:

33 Answers

  1. Amber Lear wrote on :

    I am sure I am too late for this but how about…..’It is an ADULT reception’. That really should say it all to any person. But you could always add that if you invite some children then you would have to invite everyone’s children to avoid hurt feelings and it is just not doable. I am marrying this year and have limited it to my siblings and their spouses but not their children even though the youngest is 18.

    Reply
  2. laurie schenker wrote on :

    No need to put that footnote on the invitations, just address the envelope to the adults or the Mr. and Mrs. and that will show who you want to invite. If there is no “and Family” on the envelope, or any children’s name, they are Not Invited…

    Reply
  3. Susan Jacobson wrote on :

    Also, alot of venues charge per head regardless if they are kids or adults.

    Reply
    • Sandy051 wrote on :

      The coordinator did state this. I have this cousin who is currently going through a divorce. She is very attached to her little 5 year old boy, takes him everywhere. I would like her to come but I have this strong feeling she’s going to bring him. She’ll be one of the phone calls I’ll be making ahead of time. Thanks for the advice, appreciate it 😉

      Reply
  4. Susan Jacobson wrote on :

    Does the venue have childcare as part of the package? Well, if you hav eit stated as an adult only, sorry, this is your wedding and if you choose to not have children at the reception they should understand if they are your friends.

    Reply
  5. gerdi scheffler wrote on :

    Congratulations to you! This will be a very special event. Since it is not until next year I would make some phone calls prior to sending out the invitations to explain the reason(s) for the “adult” reception. You probably have a pretty good idea who might be calling after they receive the invitation. It is your celebration and you can choose to celebrate any way you want.

    Reply
  6. Patricia Assanowicz wrote on :

    First let me say Congratulations to the both of you. I truly believe the adults will understand that being an evening wedding with an adult reception they can explain to their children that sometimes Adults want to have their play time too, if they have their birthdays or sleepovers and only want to invite certain kids and adults are only allowed in to check on the kids to make sure everything is fine. the parents can explain that the party will go late into the night and past their bedtimes, also depending on your sitter the kids can set up their own little sleepover, movies, munchies, etc. let them know “hey kids this is your time to plan your night with your friends so take advantage of it.”

    Reply
  7. Marcia Robinson wrote on :

    Sandy, How thoughtless of me not to congratulate you on renewing your wedding vows. You’ve got some powerful answers. Again, congrats!

    Reply
  8. JoAnn Josemans wrote on :

    I suggest you state that the wedding and reception is for adults only. This might make it easier for parents with small children to plan a night out.

    Reply
  9. Marcia Robinson wrote on :

    Sandy, additionally, you might say that you’re trying to keep the cost down. This isn’t when you first got married.

    Reply
  10. Rosemarie Sussex wrote on :

    First, let me say how wonderful it is that you are renewing your vows! As for your question, since you are going to put on the invitation “Adult Reception you might want to add the word ONLY- “Adult Reception Only”. That might deter anyone from even asking about kids. You didn’t mention at what age is your cut-off.
    If someone asks about youg children, you might say something like:
    “With the late hour, the kids will be bored and tired and really not enjoy the evening.”
    “The venue really isn’t set-up for children.”
    “Let’s get together (before or after) my party so I can get to see the kids.”
    If you’re having rsvp cards, and someone responds for children, just call them and very nicely say “Oh I guess you misread the invitation, it’s for adults only party, I’ll change your response number to two.”
    Remember, it’s your party and you have the right to invite who you want. If people are offended, then they don’t really have you and your husband best interest at heart.
    You only get to do this once.

    Reply
  11. Robin Richards wrote on :

    My congratulations for renewing your vows. That’s awsome! I’m a firm believer that honesty is the best policy. Tell your guests the truth about why you are requesting no children be present. Most parents will welcome a good reason to be away from the kids. If couples are coming. it would mean a good date night for them. It can be fun when it’s just the adults or adult couples. Obviously if alcohol is present, children really don’t need to be present. Also, it’s your special night and you have the absolute right to design your reception any way you wish. Look, if you are honest with those who call, they will understand. Besides they may arrange for a sitter and come anyway.

    Reply
  12. DawnMarie Helin wrote on :

    I see this often and always find it easy to say “We arranged the evening this way so you can relax and enjoy yourselves…our gift to you for sharing this special evening with us.”

    Reply
    • Sandy051 wrote on :

      Love it & gonna use it. It’s polite yet straight to the point. Thanks! 😉

      Reply
  13. Constance Snow wrote on :

    Simply explain that an “adult function” means just that. Adults functioning as adults. Like at a night club. Or a bar. Or a sophisticated evening wedding reception. You wouldn’t bring children to a night club or a bar. Right?

    Reply
  14. Debbie Nye wrote on :

    First of all, let me extend my congratulations. I am a firm believer that children do not belong at a wedding reception or any other function where alcohol will be served. Also children get tired at evening events and cry and whine and get underfoot on the dance floor. They may also pick up alcoholic beverages and drink them, becoming ill. Use any of these reasons. Parents need a night out without tugging little ones. If the parents are consuming alcoholic beverages they certainly don’t need to be traveling in a vehicle carrying innocent children. Besides this is your special day and you set the rules. Have a Great time!

    Reply
  15. Nina Witham wrote on :

    say that it is evening that you want to be a bride and not have to be grandma. If you have it late in the evening & state adult reception…you are saying that. They should be able to follow. If not, they may just be the ones that drop in and drop out. Come and leave kids to run amuck. It is after all your night to enjoy.

    Reply
  16. Sandra Rittenhouse wrote on :

    This is always a touchy situation…and I think the answers while truthful should address each inquiries situation. If the people asking have very small qhildren, then the answer can be tuned to the “it’s too late in the evening, little ones get cranky and we would hate to have the evening spoiled not only for us, but you as well…clearly you would have to leave at that point…and we would miss you”…if older children, not yet teens…then a there isn’t anything for them to do…they will be whining and wanting to go home…You won’t have a good time and we would be sorry to see you go home early so that other guests aren’t impacted”…lastly teens…this is actually the easiest…Just say the music is not going to be what they like, they would much rather stay at home than be with old people…so please don’t bring them along …we want to celebrate…not mourn.” Make all of the responses as funny…and focused on everyone celebrating…Hope this helps..

    Reply
    • Sandy051 wrote on :

      Great answer, I agree. My 2 girls will be standing with us but they’re in there 20s as are there other cousins. Plus there is a per person fee for the teenagers and no can do. Thanks! 😉

      Reply
  17. Victoria Salti Wilson wrote on :

    I respectfully disagree with my fellow FOF’s. I would make clear you want an adult only environment. I have known mothers who say “my kids won’t eat” or They will sit on our laps. Only the truth will work, there is nothing they can say if you tell them, ever so sweetly, their mere presence is at issue.

    Reply
    • Sandy051 wrote on :

      I saw an article which stated “Adult Reception to follow”. I have this Aunt as I’m sure all of you have, the one that will question why. Her grandson just had a baby and to be honest, I do not want that kind of disruption. Hopefully this time she’ll understand. Thanks! 😉

      Reply
  18. patricia mcnew wrote on :

    explain that we are limited in space and that we love kids but understand we dont have the room for added space for a day care to provide a safe spot for children to play

    Reply
  19. Marcia Robinson wrote on :

    It’s a very touchy situation and I’d really be surprised that anyone would ask that question when you’ve specifically stated about the reception to follow. I have to agree with donlin1. There are definitely times when children should not been seen and not be heard. You don’t want them disrupting the event.

    Reply
  20. Linda Flack wrote on :

    Sandy, The best way I was able to work that one out, was by saying that there were no accommodations for children. That they would be very bored and have nothing to do.

    Reply
Are you an FOF Guru? Please to log in and post your response