Sexy Talk With Cheryl Hines

FabOverFifty previously collaborated with AMAG Pharmaceuticals as part of its PAINFULLY AWKWARD CONVERSATIONS campaign. Make sure to learn more about Cheryl’s important mission here and here.

I read that members of the cast of Curb Your Enthusiasm improvised their dialog based on a bare outline for the popular sitcom starring Cheryl Hines and Larry David.  But when I recently asked Cheryl if she’d ad lib a funny line that women could use to open up a conversation about painful sex, she was stumped. No surprise there. Painful sex isn’t an especially funny subject, even for a comedian.

Why in the world would I be talking to Cheryl about painful sex in the first place?

Well,  Emmy nominated actress Cheryl has partnered with AMAG Pharmaceuticals to start the conversation about the subject, which can be mighty uncomfortable for many women. Through a series of lighthearted vignettes, Cheryl and a few of her friends want to empower you to begin your own discussion with your pals, partners and healthcare providers.

“I think It’s hard for women to talk about painful sex because they’re unsure if other women are experiencing it,” Cheryl told me. “It’s easier to talk about something when you feel pretty sure other women are going through the same thing. I was drawn to AMAG’s PAINFULLY AWKWARD CONVERSATIONS campaign so we could help make it easier to approach one another.”

 

When Cheryl was thinking of getting involved with the AMAG campaign, she talked to her friends, and “across the board they told me I have to do it,” she said. “It was eye opening for me. Painful sex is a women’s health issue and we shouldn’t be shy about it.  I want to open the door for women to bring up with their healthcare providers since there are things they can do about it.

“Men today freely talk about erectile dysfunction because treatment is available,” Cheryl explained. “The same thing should be happening with painful sex. If you’re in a private setting, and you’re talking with your friends about guys, fitness, or just having some mimosas, throw the subject out there and ask if it’s just you or if they’re feeling the same way.”

John P. Johnson/HBO

Side note:  I was happy to hear that Cheryl is shooting another season of Curb Your Enthusiasm. “I directed an episode, which was very exciting,” she told me. She expects it will air this year, “perhaps in the fall.”

Silence is Not Golden When it Comes to This Painful Problem

This post was developed in partnership with AMAG Pharmaceuticals

Does this describes you: You’re about 55 years old, in menopause, and you’re experiencing at least one of these symptoms: Weight gain, sleeplessness, decreased libido, vaginal dryness, hot flashes and depression. Worse, sex has become uncomfortable, maybe even painful, but you haven’t discussed your problem with your healthcare provider because a) you don’t think he or she can do anything about it b) you can live without sex or c) you’re embarrassed.

Chances are I’ve described you to a tee, but I’m not a psychic. Millions of women in the U.S. silently experience pain or discomfort during sexual intercourse, caused by the changes in their bodies after menopause. As a matter of fact,  60 percent of women suffer from VVA, or vulvar and vaginal atrophy, a common condition that can lead to painful sex, according to an exclusive FabOverFifty survey of 293 women. Yet, over half of you haven’t even talked to your healthcare provider, and you have all your excuses lined up.

Woefully,  a whopping 41 percent of smart women are unaware that there’s
anything their healthcare providers can do to treat their vaginal atrophy, 27 percent of you are embarrassed to talk about it, and another 31 percent simply are willing to accept your discomfort or pain and live sans sex, according to the FabOverFifty survey.

Yes, FOFriends, There is a Treatment

Please let me set the record straight about two of these facts: Vaginal atrophy absolutely can be treated, so you don’t have to live with discomfort or pain, and you can have the chance to enjoy sex again!  A number of treatment options, including estrogen and non-estrogen prescription medications, are available to help alleviate your painful sex due to menopause.  Ninety percent of those who participated in the FabOverFifty survey reported they’d be willing to treat the problem if they learned sex doesn’t have to be painful.  

But, how are you, usually a pretty smart lady, going to address a problem if you’re too embarrassed to talk about it with anyone, including your friends, your partner, no less your healthcare provider?

Here’s how: First, drop in on Emmy nominated actress Cheryl Hines and a few of her friends as they start the conversation about painful sex related to menopause. Cheryl knows how uncomfortable it can be to talk about this subject, so she’s partnered with AMAG Pharmaceuticals for its PAINFULLY AWKWARD CONVERSATIONS campaign to empower you, using her wonderful sense of humor, to begin the discussion with your pals, partners, and healthcare providers. 


Finding a Healthcare Provider Who Understands Menopause

Second, make sure to find a doctor who understands what happens to our bodies as we move from peri to postmenopause. You might be surprised to learn that many, many doctors, including OBGYNs, are sadly uneducated about a woman’s body after her child-bearing years. Thankfully, this is starting to change, and exceptional doctors and other healthcare providers across the country, including nurse practitioners, are focusing on the health and wellness of the millions of menopausal women. Many local medical centers have menopause clinics, and The North American Menopause Society (NAMS) provides a listing of doctors in your area who are menopause specialists.

Although my healthcare provider’s office is a two-hour drive, I am happy to make the trip because she can immediately make anyone feel comfortable. She won’t wait for you to introduce the subject of painful sex; she’ll come right out and ask you, in her unassuming style, and explain all your treatment choices.  “I like folks to understand what options they have,” she said. She’ll even send you home with notes about what she covered with you.

You may need to see a menopause specialist more often than I do, and want a healthcare provider closer to home, so my healthcare provider advises you to choose someone who will put you at ease.  Even if the person you’ve selected doesn’t introduce the subject of painful sex during your initial consultation, you can help him or her along by saying, “I’m having vaginal pain, and sometimes it hurts when we’re intimate.”  Good healthcare professionals “always want to know about your concerns,” my healthcare provider asserted. It may be a good idea to set up a separate appointment from your routine examination to discuss your menopausal symptoms. The FabOverFifty survey listed 11 of them.  Vaginal dryness ranked first, affecting 61 percent of the respondents!

Yes, postmenopausal painful sex is a fairly common condition. It’s time that you learned how you can do something about it. Go to www.PauseSexPain.com to learn more about the campaign and how to feel comfortable discussing this condition with your healthcare provider.

Take Our SEX-pertise Survey

FabOverFifty collaborated with AMAG Pharmaceuticals to create this post. All opinions are my own.

Please take the below quiz and then read the article to learn more about an important issue facing millions of women.

1. How old are you?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

2. Are you in perimenopause?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

3. Are you in menopause (haven’t had your period for at least one year)?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

4. Which perimenopause and menopause-related symptoms do you experience? (Check all that apply.)

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

5. Has sex become uncomfortable or painful?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

6. If you answered yes to question #5, have you discussed your problem with your healthcare provider?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

7. If you answered no to question #6, why haven’t you discussed your problem with your healthcare provider?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

8. Do you think painful sex is related to menopause?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

9. If you learned sex doesn’t have to be painful, would you be willing to treat the problem?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

10. If you answered no to question #9, what are your hesitations to treating your issue with painful sex?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

Cheryl Hines and the Painfully Awkward Conversation

Millions of women in the U.S. are silently experiencing pain or discomfort during sexual intercourse, caused by the changes in their bodies after menopause. Emmy nominated actress Cheryl Hines has partnered with AMAG Pharmaceuticals for its PAINFULLY AWKWARD CONVERSATIONS campaign. The campaign aims to educate women about the connection between painful sex due to menopause and empower them to start a conversation about this condition with their friends, partners, and healthcare providers. Cheryl knows how uncomfortable talking about painful sex due to menopause can be and has gotten together with a few of her friends to start the conversation about painful sex related to menopause, and vow to do something about it.


Still Think It’s Just You?

Now that you have taken the quiz and watched the PAINFULLY AWKWARD CONVERSATIONS campaign video, let me share a story with you of a woman who didn’t have the knowledge Cheryl and her friends have and didn’t speak up.

All through their 30s and 40s, Lisa and her two best friends would talk about their sex lives without inhibitions. New relationships would bring on new experiences, new revelations and fresh rounds of advice. The trio of friends always joked about being the real version of Sex In The City.

The conversion seemed to abruptly change when Lisa stopped being her usual straightforward self. The friends were in their 50s. “Whenever one of us would bring up sex, Lisa would clam up. We knew something was wrong, but we couldn’t figure out what,” Roberta said. “Lisa had a loving husband, a good job, and a son who was about to graduate college. We were worried, but were afraid to ask her outright, since she obviously didn’t want to talk about what was clearly bothering her.”

Turns out Lisa shared a medical problem with about half of all postmenopausal women in the United States; approximately 32 million suffer from VVA, or vulvar and vaginal atrophy, a common condition that can lead to painful sex. This condition caused Lisa’s vaginal tissues to become thinner and dryer.

And, like millions of her “sisters,” Lisa was embarrassed to talk about it to her best friends, to her doctor, even to her husband of more than two decades. Sex had become so painful, she started making up one excuse after another to her husband when he wanted to be intimate. “When we went out to dinner with them, I sensed a tension that was never there before,” friend Roberta said.

“Despite my education, I was abysmally ignorant about the changes in my body. I had no idea that they were related to menopause,” Lisa said. Astoundingly, neither do 75 percent of the women with VVA, revealed a survey of over 3,000 postmenopausal with VVA symptoms. And, the effects of the condition can be emotional, as well as physical.

If Lisa hadn’t been embarrassed to share her pain with anyone, she not only would have discovered that she’s far from alone, but that she didn’t have to accept it. As a matter of fact, she would have been thrilled to learn about a number of treatment options, including estrogen and non-estrogen prescription medications, which are available to help alleviate her painful sex due to menopause.

Don’t suffer with postmenopausal painful sex like Lisa did. You’re not alone when it comes to this fairly common condition. Learn how you can do something about it, too. Go to www.PauseSexPain.com to learn more.

to learn more about the campaign, educate yourself on painful sex due to menopause, and learn how to feel comfortable discussing this condition with your healthcare provider.