fiftytooogorgeous SAID:

I’ll begin by saying that my ego took a SUPREME hit while suffering with my autoimmune disease (Sarcoidosis); the medication has caused changes in my physical appearance than I was ready for. Although I have taken the changes in stride, I feel like bits and pieces of me are in small jars in the bathroom. I have been writing and tried self publishing but am not confident enough it seems to get out there and promote. My smile was what everyone remembered about me and now most of it is in a small case in the bathroom, I didn’t mind losing hair because I’ve always loved wigs but I just feel different. Although I have survived these 10 years on medication, my confidence is shaken (not sitrred) and I want it back. My books are good but I cannot seem to project that. I am afraid which is something I have never been before which and I guess I shouldn’t let the cosmetic changes affect me in this way. But they do. Help is appreciated. I’m 54 and love my job but see better things ahead if I can confidently move forward.

0 Answers

  1. Mike Halsey wrote on :

    Thank you Paulette, for sharing what would be daunting set of challenges for anyone.

    Immediately after reading your words, I came away with a very strong intuition telling me your illness has prepared and positioned you to be even MORE powerful in your impact as a writer than you could have been before. What do you make of that?

    Every healing spiritual tradition I’ve encountered teaches of the blessings of having one’s conquered and transcended. If so, what might be the supreme gift in the hit yours has taken? What DIDN’T get hit, shaken or lost?

    I pray you can find a way to very, very gently embrace that new “different” feeling and run with it!



  2. Mandasmita Singh wrote on :

    Hello Paulette

    It sounds to me that you have come a long way !! And what a journey it has been !! When I read your post i had a feeling that you are almost ready to come out of your cocoon in the journey to be a beautiful butterfly and just need a gentle nudge to come out there and show the world what you have in terms of beauty not just in your smile or hair but in your work, in your words and in your books.

    I have found visualization a to be very powerful tool with my clients and would love to do a session of visualization with you and take the next step together alongside you.

    You can always reach me on So I would urge you to go to your bathroom and take out your self from those little jars!


  3. Amy Cohen wrote on :

    Hi Paulette,
    We are hit so many times in life with trauma and struggle to come out of it. All these challenges you have now, change your story, can change who you are and you lose a beautiful piece of yourself. As a Practitioner for Emotional Health – I am going to give you some remedies to pick up from your health food store that will help you within days get your confidence back and help you to move forward and feel emotionally balanced and back to your self. I use botanical therapy to help people emotionally and use remedies from all over the world. You can pick up your own and use 4x daily, 4 drops each remedy. You should feel movement to your old self – safely and powerfully with no worry of interaction with medication. Pick up Larch (Bach Flower Essences), Rescue Remedy, Crab Apple and Mimulus. This addresses fear, inner beauty, confidence and trauma. I found it through my own trauma and botanical therapy changed my life. Here is a quick beautiful fix for you!

  4. Carolyn Hidalgo wrote on :

    Hi Paulette,

    “My smile was what everyone remembered about me…I just feel different.” Your smile comes from how you feel…it really isn’t about how you look : ) It’s the energy you carry within you, and I want you dig deep, and trust what you know about yourself as an author: “My books are good, and I love my job.” Step into that energy that is already within you, and you will radiate.

    Right now, I know it doesn’t feel like that on the outside, and you are correct – it’s your EGO that is not feeling confident, and afraid to get out there and promote (our ego is always blocking us!) – this is different from your true self that has gained the strength I clearly see ‘taking the changes in stride’ of your challenges all these years. If you can lean inward, and trust your reasons for why you LOVE your job – your writing, what impact you want to have – everyone will see your smile as that same reflection you’ve always had.

    People don’t remember much of what we say, or how we look – they remember how you made them FEEL. Making sure you FEEL good inside is all that really matters – that energy is what they will remember, and connect with : )

  5. Linda Ratcliff wrote on :

    Hi Paulette,
    When women, particularly, have any sort of trouble that adversely affects their faces, it causes a lot of emotional upheaval. Imagine the pimple on your face just before a big dance when you were 16! You were horrified!!

    Now you are struck with a serious disease that effects both the inside and outside. How frightening. Of course you are dismayed. I’d allow the fear to pour out. It seems a sensible reaction to your situation. I’d walk into your bathroom and open each jar to let yourself out. Your smile was a huge asset, let is out. If it doesn’t look the same ,OK. You will still project what the smile means to others. You need to get past the fear. This is a perfect time to get a coach who will help you, to listen to your fears. to get past them. A good coach will help you deal with all that you are feeling. I beg you to stop worrying about how you look. You have a lot to give and now is the time to be giving. It will win you genuine friends who don’t care how you look.

    I think I understand how you must be feeling and hope that you will look for support in a coach. They are uniquely qualified to help you past the fear and the “jars in the bathroom”. They usually talk by telephone so they won’t even see your outside, just the beauty of your inside and they can help you use that beauty to advance your need to see yourself, both inside and out. Choose a coach who is gentle and loving. You don’t need someone who will smack you around!! I wish you all the love you can get to overcome this horrible illness. Don’t forget to show your smile!!!!

  6. Jeanet Lamoca wrote on :

    Your courage and drive jumps off the page. This is no easy path that you are on AND you are on it, doing it and noticing how it’s going – with ups and downs and still forward. Sounds like you want something else, and want to be able to want it. And that you’re stuck right now in fear, frustration and maybe some fatigue (just a guess from across the page) Sounds like this might be getting in the way and making you feel stuck,

    Getting unstuck is absolutely something you can do, moving through the fear is possible, feeling energized and invigorated by what’s ahead, by what you are creating – it’s realistic and attainable. It is in your grasp. Jump in and work with a coach who can partner with you, facilitate the process and assist you in the transition. Most coaches offer a free consultation – shop around and find the coach that is the right fit for you.

    Jeanet Lamoca

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