Addiction=compulsion, dependence, obsession, craving, infatuation. No matter how you say it, Martha Stewart wouldn’t call it “a good thing” and neither would I.
We know about all the garden-variety addictions: Work, cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, shopping and food. But do you know it’s entirely possible to be addicted to a person? Many of us turn to girlfriends, boyfriends or bosses who fill needs, much like drinking or smoking do. People can be as toxic to us as slugging down three martinis a night or inhaling one cigarette after another for years on end.
My neediness drew me to toxic people for decades. My friend, L, was beautiful, married to a rich man and connected to people in high places. I couldn’t get enough of her. I wasn’t beautiful, my husband wasn’t a breadwinner and I was connection-less. But L was noxious to me since she thought only of herself 24/7. She’d be two hours late to meetings we made, ask me to do her work and to run around doing chores for her.
I was addicted to Edgar. He bought me clothes and jewelry. He was a sex machine. And he was a hugely successful businessman. He gave me things I desperately needed, but he gave me something else: Misery. He was a master liar, cheater and an alcoholic. Even if he hasn’t died of a stroke ten years ago (he was a stroke waiting to happen), I was weaning myself away from him. I would have been better off on painkillers than with him. As a matter of fact, I should have popped painkillers when I was with him.