Can he ever change his stripes?

Dear Elin,

When the world started fawning and fussing over your husband over a decade ago, I didn’t like his arrogant attitude. I was impressed that he graduated from Stanford University (my daughter went there, too). He was a nice-looking and talented young man, for sure. But did he need to be so cocky?

And then they grow up
And then they grow up

I liked him a bit better over the years, even though I had no interest in his game. I’d look for signs of his arrogance, but he seemed to hold it in check. Then he married you and together you had two beautiful children. I thought you were lucky to be with a man who seemed to love you so much and earned so much money. Maybe he’s matured, I surmised.

When I read about his affairs this week, my heart obviously went out to you, especially because I’ve been through the same situation.  It’s not fun when the world is privy to your husband’s infidelities.

I’m writing to you as an FOF woman and to offer you some advice. Only you know if your husband really is a decent man. Only you and he know if you truly love one another. The media doesn’t know. He must certainly have a sex problem (um, addiction), so I’d suggest dealing with that, but sex and love are not synonymous.

I was distraught when my husband cheated and lied to me but I decided to stay with him for my own personal reasons. I know lots of people are telling you to “throw the bum out and take his money.”  If only it was that easy.

Good luck whatever you decide.  You’re a young woman with a world of opportunities ahead of you. Perhaps you’ll never tame your tiger entirely, but maybe you can keep him from prowling through the jungle quite so much.


Hillary R. Clinton

Secretary of State

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