OUR EMOTIONS ARE RUNNING HIGH DURING THIS TIME OF STRESS, SO WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA IF WE TRIED TO HELP ONE ANOTHER. READ ABOUT HARRIET’S DILEMMA BELOW AND GIVE HER YOUR ADVICE.
AND, TELL US ABOUT YOUR QUARANTINE QUANDARY BY EMAILING GERI@FABOVERFIFTY.COM
Harriet, a 57-year-old, long-divorced mother of two grown children, owns a freelance bookkeeping business. She’s bright, beautiful, funny, and highly opinionated.
Barbara, Harriet’s 30-something married daughter, has two young children and a demanding financial job. She’s controlling, high strung, and as opinionated as her mother. She isn’t an especially warm and cuddly person. She’s often questions Harriet’s viewpoints.
THEIR PRE-COVID-19 RELATIONSHIP
Harriet has spent at least one full day a week babysitting ever since the birth of her grandchildren. She adores the kids and would drop everything to help out Barbara, such as watching the children on many weekends when her daughter and son-in-law had engagements out of town. The kids adore her, too.
Tending to a toddler and a four-year-old is tough enough for a young mother; it’s no cakewalk, even for a fit woman in her 50s. Harriet likes to be appreciated, but Barbara doesn’t give physical or verbal thanks. No hugs for Harriet. No words acknowledging her mother’s help.
THEIR SITUATION DURING COVID-19
Barbara appears to have shut Harriet out of her and her childrens’ lives during the last few weeks. Harriet’s emails saying that she misses her grandchildren and would love to connect with them online have gone unanswered.
Barbara and her husband, both working at home during the quarantine, are clearly stressed having to take care of their young kids at the same time. ”I would have gone in a heartbeat to stay with them and help with the children,” Harriet said. But Barbara didn’t extend an invitation.
Now Harriet is sad, not just because she hasn’t seen her grandchildren in weeks, but because her daughter seems to continually resent her so much.
She’d like our advice on how she can communicate with her daughter now and be able to connect with her grandchildren – even if it’s only online.
TELL HARRIET BELOW WHAT ADVICE YOU HAVE FOR HER.