I wish I read more, but it is a joy to find a book I adore. And I do adore My Nest Isn’t Empty, It Just Has More Closet Space, by FOF best-selling author, Lisa Scottoline, with her daugher, Francesa (St. Martin’s Press, 2010). Subtitled The Amazing Adventures of an Ordinary Woman, Lisa writes about her dogs, her dishwasher, her diet and lots more. Every one of her essays strikes a cord, tickles my funny bone and might as well be about me. A former lawyer and twice divorced, Lisa lives with five dogs in Pennsylvania, where she hosts an annual get-together for hundreds of her fans. (How cool is that!)
Because I’m not a huge reader, and I must be living under a rock, I didn’t know Lisa has written scads (17) of novels. The book jacket notes there are 26 million copies of Lisa’s books in print in the US. After reading My Nest Isn’t Empty non-stop today, I know why. Let me give you a little taste…
From the essay Begrudging
“I’m not one to hold a grudge.
“On the contrary.
“I don’t merely hold a grudge. I wave my grudge proudly. I hoist it like the Statue of Liberty with her torch. I love grudges.
“I put the grrrr in grudge.
“I have lots of grudges, maybe three hundred of them, and they’re always with me, like a Snuggie of bad feelings. And when I travel, I pack my grudges in a roller bag and drag them behind me.”
“In my thirties, I apologized for everything. I was like an apology machine. The apologies started with things like ‘I’m sorry I’m late,” then increased to ‘I’m sorry I said what I said,’ and ended up with ‘I’m sorry I think what I think,’ ‘I’m sorry I am who I am,’ and ultimately, ‘I’m sorry I married you.
“Really, really sorry.”
“I have a 32-inch TV in an entertainment center that’s across the room from the couch, and as the years go by, the TV’s been getting smaller and smaller and harder and harder to see.
“I’m not getting older.
“My TV is shrinking.”
I’m going to interview Lisa soon for FOF. I can’t wait.