My 29- year-old daughter, Simone, surprised me when she showed up at my office yesterday morning. “I have to tell you something,” she announced. “Noel and I got married.”
“Oh my god, Mone! Congratulations,” I said, hugging and kissing her. “Are you pregnant?” I spontaneously asked. “No,” she chuckled, knowing I’d ask.
As you can probably tell by now, Mone isn’t a conventional young woman. She and Noel have been together for six years. They’re in love, but Simone has definitively announced, on more than one occasion, that she didn’t want to get married.
“So, how did it happen?” I asked.
“Noel just came out and asked me. We went to City Hall.”
My daughter’s marriage was two weeks ago. Her boss and a co-worker were witnesses. No one else was invited. Not I. Not her dad. Not her brother. Not Noel’s family.
“I was a little worried to tell you. I thought you might be mad, because we didn’t tell anyone,” Mone said.
“Not one bit. I am thrilled that you have made a commitment to each other,” I answered. “I assumed you were never going to marry.”
I called Noel a couple of hours later. “Is this my son-in-law?” I asked. “I am so happy for you.” Noel reiterated that he and Simone were nervous to tell me. I was actually more surprised that they felt this way than by their marriage. It would have been nice to witness the ceremony, but Simone and Noel’s happiness is most important to me. Besides, I’m not sentimental or a big fan of ceremonies.
Many young women plan their wedding day for months and months, register for pots, pans and blenders, and have more showers than some people take in a month. The preparations consume them. The bride and groom’s families often end up in a mini war. The wedding has no more meaning because it costs $50,000 and involves more preparation than a Presidential Inauguration. I spent little time preparing my own (small) wedding, in 1968. My daughter apparently inherited my who-cares-about-a-wedding gene.
Simone and Noel have one photo from the ceremony and a short home-made video. I share the photo with my FOFriends.
I have never seen Simone and Noel argue. She got him to go back to college and he’s graduating NYU in a year (on an academic scholarship, too.) He supports her emotionally, as precious few men know how to do. From everything I see, I think they make a darn good couple. Noel isn’t only smart; he’s a handsome dude.
I wish Simone and Noel a life together of health, joy, mutual respect, humor, mental stimulation and good sex. Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Sayers.
P.S. M and N, Just don’t show up at my door one day with an infant in your arms and say: “Meet your new grandchild.” I”ll need plenty of time to prepare for that.