A single or unattached 22-year-old woman in the 1960s was about to enter “spinsterhood.” As the decades moved on, the entry point for spinsterhood moved up, so by 2010, a woman could enter her thirties without the spinster stigma.
But I see something else happening in our society today: Many women are entering their forties, fifties and beyond—successful, satisfied, secure and single. They aren’t embarrassed and ashamed to be man-less. They still look cool, sexy and confident, even without a man by their sides. They’re adopting kids on their own, giving birth to kids on their own (all you need is sperm!) and buying homes on their own. They know enough men they can call on to escort them to a party, event or come along for a movie. Even to have sex.
Granted, not all women feel this confident and relaxed about being sans man. Many still feel anxious and worry they’ll be alone for the rest of their lives and never have kids. Although I understand wanting to be part of a couple, married or not, I feel bad for women who become scared and desperate. That state of mind can be pretty big turnoff to a man. Personally, I think it’s better to never marry or marry later in life than to marry out of hopelessness.
0 Responses to “Mighty men?”
Thank you, Elizabeth! You will not believe how much I’ve been agonizing over this, especially since one of my grown daughters is so ‘gung-ho’ about this man and keeps prodding me about marrying him that I’d begun to wonder if I’m weird or something…
And thank you FOF for this forum for grown ups with grown up issues!!!
I was first married at age 18. There have been a few other marriages since. I am now a very merry widow…Thing is, I have never really needed a man except for ripping, banging, screaming sex…There I’ve said it! Never could admit that before…Now I’m in another relationship and he wants to take it to “the next level.” There is this voice inside my head screaming “NO!!” I like this man tremendously, the sex is what my kids call ‘off-the-chain”. Beyond anything I’ve ever known! But I still prefer to go out with my girl friends or simply by myself. I do not want to live with anyone. I find I do not need that thing called “companionship”. The word itself creeps me out. I’ve come to realize that I do not need this man, I just like having him around in short spells on occasion – and sex must be involved. I have recently been asking myself if I am being selfish or self-involved. Then that voice again says, “So what?” But I still wonder if I will regret it 10 years from now because I know he will not stay around while I hem and haw about a future with him…
You’re not self-involved! It’s your choice! And when a man does the same thing people identify him as a “lifelong bachelor”, which of course, has a positive connotation. “Spinster” needs to be shelved, for good! Now “lifelong bachelorette”, that has a nice twist 🙂
I like this post a lot! 🙂