Rose, another friend, also joined mom’s persona non grata list when she didn’t reveal that her son was seeing a therapist (people who saw therapists in the sixties were considered crazy.)
Whatever reasons Lillian and Rose had, mom decided they weren’t good enough. She was hurt that one best friend didn’t confide in her and the other hid something from her. Mom had the uncanny ability to make believe her former friends didn’t exist…in an instant.
It’s no fun to feel hurt, but while good people rarely hurt each other intentionally, hurt happens. If we love the person who hurt us, or she plays an important role in our life, I think we should tell her how we feel and discuss it. If the hurter is an acquaintance, why waste time feeling hurt? Just move on.
It may be hard to move on if a hurt causes pain, anguish and some kind of injury—economic, for example. If Bernie Madoff stole most of my retirement income, for example, I’m not sure how quickly I could brush that off. If I discovered that my best friend didn’t trust me, I’d be shaken for a long time.