“Do you still help set people up on your website?” asked the woman who called me one fine afternoon recently as I was driving to an appointment. She was referring to the FabOverFifty section we launched in 2010, called Date My Single Kid, created to help members of our community set up their single “kids.”
“We put that section on pause a few years ago because it didn’t create the traction that other parts the site were getting,” I responded to the caller, whose name is Barbara. When I questioned whether she was interested in helping someone meet a mate, Barbara explained that she wanted to be aware of any helpful options that might be available for her single daughter, Nicole, although she wasn’t trying “to run her dating life.”
Hearing that, I asked Barbara if she’d be willing to participate in an “experiment” by letting me interview her about Nicole to see if we’d hear from women who knew eligible young men for her daughter. Barbara was game.
I’d love to know how you discovered FabOverFifty.
I was looking for a way to connect with other women with successful, busy adult children who have little time to spend searching on dating websites. My daughter, Nicole, tells me that many singles on those sites are just looking for a hook up with no strings attached. She has tried many of them and said it takes time to even find someone for a first date.
Parents in some societies make contractual marriage agreements for their children, and in others they may not even know the people their children marry. Could there be something in between?
Please tell us about Nicole
Nicole is in her early 30s, and well grounded, with a good balance of common sense, resourcefulness and faith. She’s self-sufficient, independent, and confident, and often the ‘go to’ person when something needs doing. She’s a devoted friend with a maternal instinct that makes her friends feel like she really cares!
She has a master’s degree and a career in the humanitarian aid sector, and has lived and worked in many countries for seven years. Some of those places included refugee camps and dangerous locations. Nicole knows firsthand a different side of the world than many Americans and has clarity about what’s important to her and how she wants to enjoy the life she’s been given.
She is a 6’1” highly athletic woman who likes playing team sports as well as hiking and kayaking in the mountains near her home. She also enjoys reading and cooking.
What is Nicole looking for in a partner?
Nicole is a low-maintenance type of girl who doesn’t play the part of stereotypical, helpless arm candy. I think she wants a solid, respectful, intelligent, good man who shares her values. She knows that she can be successful without a partner, but looks forward to meeting the right person who will be a teammate for life. She’s willing to have a long-distance relationship if that’s necessary in order to get to know someone. She’s also looking for someone who takes care of his body, likes to play outside, and is on the tall side.
She has many high school classmates who have been married and divorced. “If I am slower getting married, maybe I’ll never have to go through that,” she recently told me. She doesn’t want the wrong person so she is being careful about the guys she dates. As her mom, I don’t want her to get frustrated and give up.
She recently enjoyed a date who surprised her by taking her dancing. They had a blast, and set up a second date, but since he lived a distance away, he then decided it was easier to date in his own town and avoid the commute. There have been guys who like Nicole, but she hasn’t felt the right connection.
She’d prefer to settle in a small city.
How would Nicole feel about you looking for her potential mate?
Past experience tells me that she embraces the ways I can help her. When she lived out of the country, she asked me to be her ‘agent’ of sorts to handle things here in the states for her. We have a good relationship and respect one another’s boundaries.
If you know a young man who you think would make a marvelous match for Nicole, email firstname.lastname@example.org with the details.