The $100,000 Makeover!

If you have oodles of money to throw around, a Park Avenue plastic surgeon has come up with a strategy for you to throw it his way. His $100,000 One-Year Plastic Surgery Plan, designed to “help you achieve a brand new aesthetic look and feel in just one year,” according to a press release, consists of only non-invasive treatments.  

• Injections for your crow’s feet, forehead and eyebrow region
Every three months
$6,840

• Injections for sweating (underarms and hands)
Every three months
$10,600

• Filler injections for nasal folds, smile lines, cheeks, temples, tops of your hands, lips, and lower eyelids
Every six months
 $26,900

• Skin Tightening for your face and neck/chest area
Every six months
$17,000

• Face Peel
One time
$2,500

• Laser Resurfacing for face, neck/chest area, tops of your hands
6 treatments every six months
$10,400

• Injections to get rid of your double chin
3 treatments within one year
$5,400

• Fat cell freeze on your arms, inner and outer thighs, stomach, back, bra fat line, hips
$12,560

• Eyelid lift under local anesthesia
$7,800

I have no clue how the doctor created his menu of cosmetic treatments, but what if you don’t have a double chin or problems with sweaty hands or underarms? Can you deduct $16,000 and pay only $84,000 for the package? And, can you double up on the fat cell freeze for your stomach, but eliminate it on your arms? Just a thought: Will friends be allowed to chip in together and divvy up the treatments if one has a double chin and underarm fat and another has drooping eyelids and sweaty hands?  

I’m all in favor of women who want to have work done of their faces and bodies, and think it’s exciting how a doctor today can perform technologically and scientifically advanced beauty treatments without ever lifting a scalpel. I’m also a big fan of people who creativity market themselves, from electricians to surgeons. I’m just perplexed what went through this Park Avenue doctor’s mind when he concocted his $100,000 Plan. Precisely $100,000, no less. Besides the ridiculous total cost, think of how much time a woman would be spending in his office.

I wonder how many takers he’s going to attract. Maybe he’s seen wealthy women return again and again for different treatments, and he figures his plan will help lock them in for a whole year.