Thoughts on the eve of THE eve

New Year’s Eve isn’t always a funsy time for every woman. Over the years, we want to be sure we have dates, we pray for marriage proposals, we throw elaborate parties that exhaust us or attend elaborate parties that bore us. We go out with groups of women friends just to have something to do; when we’re part of a couple, we go out with other couples and try to muster up as much  group merriment as possible.

One of the greatest benefits of being FOF is spending New Year’s Eve all alone and happy as a clam about it. That’s what I did at the turn of the century, when I decided I wasn’t going to go to Long Boat Key, Florida to be with Edgar. Although we had been together for almost 12 years, he didn’t want to come to New York, and I realized I was darned if I was going to schlep down there to be with him.

I cooked myself a steak and drank a bottle of good red wine, made sure my computer didn’t crash at midnight and went to bed.

Sadly for Edgar, it was his last New Year’s Eve, with or without me. He died six months later.

New Year’s Eve may be symbolic, but it’s just another night.

PS I am looking forward to New Year’s Eve this year. David and I are going to be with FOF sister, Shelley; husband Rusty; their youngest son, Adam; his new fiancé, Nicole, and Nicole’s mom and her new fiancé. Shelley is cooking a gala dinner.  I can’t wait to see Nicole’s ring and have fun with this crazy bunch of people I love.