The Wall Street Journal ran a column today about the FOF Beauty Bash, which reveals more about the 40-year-old woman who wrote it, Anne Kadet, than about the Bash itself.
It is a snarky column, poking fun at FOFs who want to look good and choose the makeup, tools and injections to help them. The snarkster* who wrote it doesn’t seem to like women of any age, so she used her public platform to criticize the choices we make, instead of acknowledging a woman’s right to make choices in the first place. *Snarkster (from Urban dictionary) “Someone who uses sarcasm, irony and/or acerbic (sometimes cruel) wit as a tool or weapon to express him or herself because they typically suffer from some sort of deep self-loathing or insecurity.”
When Snarkster Anne interviewed me she told me her column was going to be “funny.” That raised a red flag to me, but she sounded like a decent woman, so I took her at face value. Funny can be good. Snarky is not. SA also told me that her 64-year-old “friend”, Sheila, who invited her to the Beauty Bash, really liked the event. SA makes Sheila look kind of jerky. “Sheila thinks you’re supposed to look 35 in New York, while in Milwaukee, ladies are still allowed to go gray and gain 300 pounds,” she quotes Sheila as saying. “Sheila longs for the old life,” when she made lots of money and could “patronize $400 hairdressers and get semiannual Botox injections,” SA continues. “Now she’s a tapped-out freelancer.” She also says pal Sheila is “64 going on 18.”
Poor dear, that Sheila. She has enough problems without “friends” like SA. Sheila disdains women in Milwaukee, is tapped-out, believes she’s got to look 35, but acts like she’s 18, can no longer afford expensive haircuts, and has nothing better to do with her time than make asinine “jokes” about women who can afford–and do–have $300 haircuts or exercise their facial muscles as religiously as she exercises her caustic tongue. (Note: Sheila managed, however, to “snag” a free haircut at the Bash from genius hairstylist, Mark Garrison, wrote SA. Mark’s complimentary cuts were reserved only for Gold Ticket Holders, which Sheila was not. )
Despite the (tall) tales of Sniping Sheila and Snarkster Anne, The Bash was hugely successful because it showcased all the options FOFs can take to make ourselves look as great as we feel. If you weren’t there yourself, here is a wonderful comment from a FOF who was:
Just wanted to comment on how much I enjoyed the Bash. It was like Disneyland for big girls; instead of rides, it was booth after table after makeup artist, etc. Had four great consultations, a sexy new haircut and the time of my life. Such fun!! My 28 year old son drove me in and met me afterwards to take me out to dinner. We were seated, ordered drinks and he said, “You look great and I know you had fun, but what did you learn”? Wow. Good point! I learned that there’s always more to learn. I learned that there is never an excuse to throw in the towel. I learned that I look great and feel even greater. I learned a few tips and tricks, and discovered that I can embrace exactly where I am and still plan on where I’m going. I feel energized and a little bit different than I did the day before I attended. Can’t ask for more than that, I say. Thanks to everyone for the hard work putting this event together – it showed; and I’m very appreciative. Definitely do one for our California sisters, they deserve it; but hopefully I’ll be back again in New York next year!!
I can’t wait till SA is fifty, only 10 years from now. If she continues to disdain women as much as she seems to now, she’ll remain anything but Fab. And she’s going to need more than plastic surgery to look good. As for Sheila, my case rests.