As your partner gets older, he may start having a hard time achieving an erection, or can’t achieve one at all. The reason could be physical. Or, he’s so anxious about work or money, that he simply can’t focus on making love.
Researchers at the University of Chicago found that one-third of men between 50 and 64 years old experience erectile dysfunction, and that figure jumps to approximately 44 percent for men between 65 and 85. Although most of these men have the option to take drugs to stimulate erection, many simply refuse to go that route.
Although your partner can’t be satisfied with a traditional erection, a number of alternatives can be extremely satisfying. If both of you are willing to try something new that will give him a great deal of satisfaction, if not an erection, try giving him a prostate massage.
LELO, the world leader in intimate lifestyle products, saw a whopping 200% sales increase in male anal pleasure products in 2015, and expects as much as a 400% increase this year. “This will be the year we see a huge revolution in mainstream sexual attitudes,” says Steve Thomson, chief marketing officer at LELO. If you’re blushing or horrified at the thought of this, it might help to know something about a man’s prostate. FabOverFifty sat down with Dr. Elizabeth Kavaler, a New York urologist in private practice, to enlighten all of us.
WHAT IS THE PROSTATE, WHERE IS IT LOCATED, AND WHAT DOES IT DO?
About the size and shape of a walnut, the prostate is part of the male reproductive system, located below the bladder and in front of the rectum. It surrounds part of the urethra, the tube that carries urine from the bladder, and helps make semen, which carries sperm from the from the testicles when a man ejaculates.
DOES THE SIZE OF THE PROSTATE AFFECT A MAN’S ABILITY TO HAVE AN ERECTION OR ORGASM?
Not at all.
HOW IS THE PROSTATE MASSAGED?
Access to the prostate is through the rectum, but that’s not comfortable for every man, physically or emotionally. Prostate massage is not at all harmful; however, some some guys are freaked out by the anus. If they can get over it, it’s good. This is a whole different method of providing pleasure in a different area. It’s something you can do for your partner, especially if he can’t achieve erection, even through oral sex.
HOW DOES PROSTATE MASSAGE FEEL?
The lobes of the prostate are very sensitive to pressure, so pressing, rubbing or stroking the gland through the rectal wall can be extremely pleasurable, and relieve emotional and physical stress. If surgery or radiation for prostate cancer affects a man’s ability to have an erection, prostate massage won’t help regenerate damaged nerves, but it can make him feel good.
IS THERE A CONNECTION BETWEEN PROSTATE MASSAGE AND AN ERECTION?
The prostate is totally separate from an orgasm in the penis, which relates to the sympathetic nervous system, although some men can experience erections by stimulating their prostates.
WHY ELSE MIGHT A WOMAN CONSIDER GIVING HER PARTNER A PROSTATE MASSAGE?
It can take a lot of pressure off a woman, give her an opportunity to please her partner without having intercourse herself. She may have dryness and feel uncomfortable, and not be up for intercourse. This gives her an option to do something different. It feels great for the guy and everyone is happy.
ARE THERE ANY OTHER MEDICAL CONDITIONS THAT CAN AFFECT A MAN’S SEXUAL PLEASURE?
A condition called Chronic Pelvic Pain Syndrome (CPPS) is caused by pelvic muscle tension and produces testicular and penis pain, as well as spasms in the pelvic muscles. This pain doesn’t affect a man’s physical ability to have an erection or orgasm, but some men have so much pain, they have trouble with sex. Prostate and pelvic muscle massage can be highly effective in helping relieve the pain and spasms of CPPS and provide sexual pleasure at the same time. We see CPPS mostly in younger men, but older men can also get it.
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