{Video} Were you a “Tiger Mom?”

It’s the year of the “Tiger Mom.”

In January, author Amy Chua released her Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother to both roaring criticism and acclaim. In the book, Amy contrasts the traditional, strict “Chinese” approach of parenting with what she calls the “Western” style of child rearing. She includes vivid anecdotes of the extreme disciplinary tactics she used raising her own children including calling her daughters names, like “lazy” or” garbage,” and even threatening to burn their stuffed animals if they performed below expectations. Some have called her parenting tactics alarming and even abusive. Others have praised her, such as Charles Murray of the American Enterprise Institute, who said that “large numbers of talented children everywhere would profit from Chua’s approach, and instead are frittering away their gifts.”

Whatever you believe, there’s no question the “tiger mom” phenom struck a chord. Here, FOF video bloggers The Boomer Broads ask their own kids, “Was I tiger mom? Should I have been?”

Tell us, were you a “Tiger Mom”?

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5 Responses to “{Video} Were you a “Tiger Mom?””

  1. sharon says:

    I think all of us are tiger moms to some extent. Who can honestly say they have not lost their temper and yelled or said things they maybe didn’t mean and would not have done but at the time were under so much stress that they just lost it for a few minutes and the child was the unfortunate one who was the victim of their losing it? I don’t know a single one of my friends who are parents who won’t admit to this. I certainly will. However, I always made sure I apologized when I did lose my temper around my children and they caught the brunt of it, and then we talked about why I lost my temper and ways I could have handled things differently. There were times also when I was too upset to talk right then but I did talk to them later. Sometimes I was stressed over them not doing what they should have been doing, sometimes it was other things. My parents never talked to me which is one thing I always knew I would do differently with my children – let them see and know why I acted the way I did about all sorts of things and that getting upset is okay as long as you do not harm someone while you are upset. Also, that saying sorry is okay and not anything to be ashamed of. My sons are now 25 and 21 and we have a wonderful relationship and we talk about everything. They know that sometimes people blow up because of different reasons, they always say they are sorry if they do this, which is not very often, like it is with some other people that I know their age. These are children I know who came fom homes where there was screaming and yelling, threats and other stuff happening all the time. I just feel that I was able to help my children learn how to handle their emotions better by making sure we did talk about why I was the way I was. Also, once I divorced their alcoholic father and removed us from the biggest source of stress in all of our lives 95% of my yelling disppeared. I am very proud of my relationship with both of my sons today. I am not proud of some of my meltdowns back when but I did my best to explain it to them. Since they have been grown I have asked them how they thought I handled things and have been told by both of them that they were glad I talked to them about what I was going thru. Both of them have said they had friends who lived in constant fear of when, how and what their parents would do in certain situations, and still live with that fear today. I could never forgive myself if my sons were afraid of me then or now. My oldest is a stepfather to 3 boys and it makes me feel so good when I hear him exlain to them how people get upset and lose their temper sometimes and the different ways we react, when one of them is being punished for something they did to one of the other boys. I know my lessons got thru to him. I am proud of both sons and even prouder to say that we are friends as well as Mother and sons.

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  2. Christine Norman says:

    I had a wonderful mother who died too young from breast cancer and was definitely not a tiger mom. I am not and have never been a tiger mom either. My son has grown into a very nice young man who does excellent in school and always has. My husband and I have never spoiled him, but we have guided him with kind words of praise for doing his best. We show him lots of love and respect and he returns the same to others.

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  3. belindabg says:

    My Mother was the WASP version of a Tiger Mom; we could NEVER live up to her expectations for us. My younger Brother and I were ‘A’ students, total overachievers, 4.0 gpa’s and involved in Music Lessons, Sports, and ‘enrichment’ activities. If we ever got a ‘B’ on a report card – watch out!! By the time my Sister came along, she was allowed to be ‘average’. But my Brother and I are forever scarred by her overzealous parenting style. I swore to her at the age of 12 that I’d NEVER have any children of my own – and I DIDN’T. In retrospect, we have many skills we might not have developed if not for her parenting style, but I also know I am too hard on myself and never felt, or will ever feel, totally acceptable just as I am, because of what she did in raising us.

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  4. admin says:

    I am strict, but definitely not a Tiger Mom. If you relentlessly demand that your kids succeed, they may accomplish impressive things, but they’ll do it to avoid your wrath. They won’t develop the feeling of self-worth, passion and independence that come from succeeding in something on your OWN terms, because you love it.

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  5. Kay says:

    My mother was strict (which I didn’t mind) but also emotionally abusive (which I minded very much). Nothing I did was ever good enough. I was so emotionally traumatized by the way she raised me that I swore I would never have any children and repeat that cycle if that is how motherhood was. And I ended up doing exactly that. No children.

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