alexw SAID:

I have been married for 14 years to a man who, after all this time finally admitted that he is not physically attracted to my body; that he never has been. He told me because I was so sexually intriguing to him that the physical would not be so important, I am devastated and he still wants sex.

3 Answers

  1. Mike Halsey wrote on :

    Hi there, and thank you for sharing this.
    Although you didn’t spell it out, am I hearing a “What am supposed to do NOW?” Is that it?
    Yours is a deeply personal matter with many complex layers, some of which may be much more (or less) important than they might seem at first glance. Finding a very safe, supportive and yet frank forum to get all of this “stuff” out seems like Job One, followed by an honest search for the right questions. I might start with…
    1. What does this revelation really mean to you? What is important about it, to you and to your husband?
    2. What do you most want to know? What do you want to ask and learn most from your husband, even if it scares you?
    3. If the “truth sets us free”, what will this new truth free up?

    I wish you both all the best as you find your right questions and answers.

  2. Debra Dennis wrote on :

    This is a very complex situation and I can understand how hurt you must feel. Are you still attracted to him? How do you feel about your body? Until we can love ourselves, we can never truly receive love in its purest form. Rather than trying to change him..I’d look at how you show up for yourself first. Unfortunatley our media trains women to feel bad about themselves unless we look like supermodels and at the same time trains men to only want a supermodel type. The reality is that even supermodels wish they looked like they did in print 🙂
    When we work on loving our selves and the body we have right now, we attract respect and love that is meaningful and fullfilling.

  3. Rosanne Leslie wrote on :

    These would be my questions: Would I want to have sex with someone who is not physically attracted to me? Would I want to be married to them? (This is a complicated situation and cannot fully be resolved here.)

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