Why do I take on so much? I decided to return to school for my 3rd degree in my 50’s and rather than take 3 classes per semester, I am taking 5. On top of that, I work full-time in education and I own a freelance design business which I have current clients and deadlines to meet. I sleep 2 -4 hours most nights due to excessive homework), I am always tired and social life? Non-existent. Why do I do this to myself?
0 Answers
Mike Halsey wrote on :
Good question, Tammy!
So … What does that give you, taking those extra two classes? What is good about being overwhelmed?
You must value that choice somehow, right? What do you sacrifice by making it?
What would the little voice in your head have said if you took “only” a more mortal load of three classes, instead of going for the superhuman?
Clare Lee wrote on :
Hi Tammy, to me what comes across is that your inner wisdom is now telling you firmly that you certainly don’t want always to be tired and you certainly don’t want a non-existent social life.
So here’s a self-coaching question to ask yourself (I invite you to just let go altogether of the ‘Why do I do this to myself?’ question, just notice you were asking it of yourself and move on) – the question I offer you is ‘What do I want for me now?’
Would you be willing to allow your mind to begin to frame precisely what kind of sleep, with what positive effect on you, and what kind of social life, with what positive effect on you? That you would just LOVE to have?
It’s my experience that simply shifting the inquiry we make of ourselves can help take us more easefully into our refreshed and refreshing future, Clare
Rosanne Leslie wrote on :
We are raised to function and often we over function and under feel… Sometimes we keep ourselves busy so we do not have to address our feelings with things that might not be going well in our lives. Ask yourself if you feel fulfilled with all of these undertakings. I cannot imagine you have time to feel much, if anything especially with such little sleep. I would slow down and do less.
Lorna Gager wrote on :
Hi Tammy. I think that sometimes we over schedule ourselves as a way to avoid our issues. If you are busy, busy all the time it doesn’t give you a minute to self reflect. Do you find that there are things about yourself that you don’t want to face? Are there unexplored events from your past? Situations that upset and frustrate you that you would rather not think about? Really consider what you may be avoiding and think about the energy it takes to stay away from it. Often that energy can be focused on working through the issues so that you can put them behind you once and for all. Best of luck and if I can be of any service please don’t hesitate to reach out.
Susan Tolles wrote on :
Tammy,
You are just like most women! We push ourselves with super-human expectations while taking care of everyone else but ourselves. It sounds like you are already a successful business owner, so first examine why you are returning to school. What is motivating you to get another degree? Will achieving this new goal enhance your business success? Or is it a response to something deeper like low self-esteem and a lack of confidence in the gifts and skills you already have.
Many of us think we have to be “more” to be worthy, failing to acknowledge our immense value and what we bring to the world—just as we are. Our own perfectionism causes self-doubt and unnecessary worry in the unrealistic expectations we set for ourselves.
I would recommend spending some time examining where you want to be in a year, then in five years. Will this new degree help you get there faster and easier? If it will, what’s the rush? And what are you willing to give up to achieve this goal so you can have better balance in your life?
Love yourself first, nourish your mind, body and spirit, and embrace “good is good enough!” You are brilliant, just as you are!