Roxxie1 SAID:

I am 61 and just started a new business in a field that is completely unrelated to my previous career of 20+ years.

I work from my home office and although I have a business partner (not in my office) I get really lonely. I live in San Francisco and there is a huge emphasis on youth as the (tech) industry is a way of life here.

I have tried to join some business clubs but seem to feel like I am always the oldest woman in the room.

Additionally, we financed this new venture on a shoestring and cash is very tight – social stuff has been put on the back burner for the past year.

I am feeling really out of step – thoughts?

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5 Answers

  1. Mike Halsey wrote on :

    Hi Rox,

    I know this may seem like a big leap, but perhaps you will choose to play with it on the mental court (where it actually exists anyway!) So….

    If you just absolutely, irreversibly, positively and boldly DECIDED to never “do lonely” again,
    what would you do differently starting now. What would you then do with your quiet moments alone, and with any free time that you can choose to do anything with?

  2. Wendy Martens wrote on :

    Hi Rox,

    I think one thing that would be most helpful is to change your thoughts about yourself and being ‘old’. You are not old, but instead are a true Queen who knows who she is and stands in her own power. Walk into the room with your head held high–you have a lot of wisdom. Also, start attending networking groups and getting out there and introducing yourself. Research maybe women’s groups and set up coffee with others in your field. Meeting with the competition is scary to some, but you will learn a lot and make some great new friends. You can have younger and older friends–it’s all okay.

  3. Carla Beach wrote on :

    Hi Rox,

    With all the moves I’ve made in my adult life, I can relate to what it feels like to be a “stranger in a strange land!”

    However, that aside, I get the feeling that you are basically an adventurous soul. To launch a totally new business venture as you enter your 60’s is a brave and daring move. Plus, to have already ventured out to those networking groups means that you have the confidence to enter a room full of strangers and give it your best shot. I know that’s not easy. So Bravo to you!

    Feeling “out of step” may be overwhelming at the moment, but may also be a passing emotion, an understandable part of the ebb and flow of your current situation. You may be in one of those “no one ever promised you a rose garden” moments that come with any new adventure. We all have moments of self-doubt. However, I believe that if you step back and take a look at what you have accomplished already in your decision to take on this venture—and give yourself full credit for your accomplishments—you may find a way to put that “out of step” feeling into perspective as you acknowledge just how far you’ve come.

    Don’t give up on the networking. Generally, those types of events are not that expensive and give you some kind of social connection. In my experience, sooner or later you stumble upon like-minded people with whom you can connect, and in those cases, age makes little difference!

    I wish you great success!

  4. Sue Bock wrote on :

    Hi Rox

    It sounds like you are in a place of wanting more. I have friends who live in San Francisco and San Diego that feel the same. One of them grabs their laptop and goes to the beach. One of them goes to Starbucks. What places do you find appealing and still be around people? At 61 you are far from being old. You mention business clubs. If you are talking about networking then hurray for you! “I have tried to join some business clubs but seem to feel like I am always the oldest woman in the room.” What would be a more positive statement here? What inner wisdom do you have to share? I just bet that they look at you and see a woman who has years of valuable experience and would love to tap into that. What dynamic ideas do you want from them? I see opportunity here for you to grow in many ways. Some may be comfortable and some may not. Are you willing to take a chance to find out? I’d love to hear your results!

  5. Nicole Owen wrote on :

    Hey there!
    I would say that it’s time to get creative! What do YOU want? What will having that bring to your life? What’s important about it? And then, using the same courage and creativity it took to start a whole new career, create it. If you’re feeling this way then, chances are, there are others. What if you were able to create the support that you need? What does it need to look like so that it works for you and your life right now? Then find some people and go crazy on some brainstorming until you find a few ideas that resonate for what you are looking for.
    Here’s some brainstorming ideas to get you going: is a great place to find groups that may already exist or create a group of your own, find a friend who also works from home and plan skype work days, it’s a great way to go about your work while having someone there to chat with now and then, put an ad in Kijiji for what you’re looking for. What are some more ideas? Go crazy – brainstorming is about exhausting your creativity and to blow the doors off any perceived limitations. It may be an impossible idea but it may inspire a possible one.
    Hope that helps!

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