Last month, we gave 12 FOF couples or singles the chance to win one of Sinclair Institute’s outstanding sex education videos. Sinclair has been helping people rev up their sex lives since 1991 and is the leading source of sexual health products and videos in the United States. Its Better Sex Video Series® has sold over four million videos in over 30 countries. Featuring real couples in loving and committed relationships, the videos explain and show us the stuff that turns them–and will turn you–ON!
We asked contest entrants which video they would most like to win. Then, we interviewed the winners–asking them to “bare all” about their sex lives. After they receive and watch the video of their choice, we will follow up and publish the interview here on the SEXcellent blog.
Below, is our fifth installment–an interview with FOF Nancy D.* (name has been changed to protect her privacy.)
“Great Sex for a Lifetime” would be a start and a relationship saver. We need to rekindle the romance and the sex drive. –Nancy D.
Are you married?
No, but I am with someone. We’ve been together for 10 years and we live together. We’ve known each other for 40 years.
How did you meet 40 years ago?
Through mutual friends. I think it was my roommate’s sister and brother-in-law who introduced us.
How old are the two of you?
I’m 60 and he’ll turn 62 soon. I have to say I don’t look my age. I don’t wear glasses, I have all my teeth and I don’t have grey hair.
Do you have children?
We both have grown children from previous marriages. I have a son who is 39 and he has two boys who are in their 30’s.
What kind of work do you do?
I work in education.
Does your partner work?
He’s an engineer, but is now semi-retired because of health issues.
How do you enjoy your spare time together?
We go to car cruises.* One year for Christmas he bought me a 1974 VW Super Beetle. We also have a pool and we enjoy having our grand kids over. We also adopted two dogs. They’re rescues.
* For any of you who don’t have the foggiest idea what a car cruise is, here’s the lowdown: “A meeting of car enthusiasts, at a predetermined location, organized predominantly through the Internet.”
You said you want to rekindle the romance. What happened to it?
We kind of lost the romance. He used to give me gifts. He use to woo me. Everything is very familiar now, we’re past the discovery stage.
Do you ever have spontaneous nights out or any romantic evenings?
No, he has gotten to be a real homebody. An old stick in the mud. It’s boring. He’d rather stay home and watch Fox TV or tend to his garden. I prefer going out to movies, plays, and flea markets.
Have you tried to get him interested in a romantic night or an evening out?
I haven’t in awhile. I don’t push it anymore. I just leaves things as they are.
What did you do this past Valentine’s day?
He made me a card and made dinner.
How often do you have sex?
We haven’t had sex in almost three to four years. He had a seizure four years ago, while at the drugstore, and since then he lives in fear of having another one.
Did he see a doctor?
He didn’t mention the sex to the doctor. He’s very private and he doesn’t want to say anything.
Did he ever try Viagra?
He took Viagra and it gave him a headache, so he didn’t take anymore. He was totally incapacitated. He thought he was going to have a stroke. He does have high blood pressure. A side effect to the blood pressure medication is E D. He was recently given a lower dosage, but it didn’t change the situation. I think the problem is more mental than physical.
Have you talked about it? Did you tell him how you feel?
Yes, we talked about it. He says we’re old and I told him that I’m not dead yet.
Does he want to have sex?
He says yes, but I think he’s afraid of failure.
Has he ever explained his fear of failure to you?
No, he hasn’t. I’ve known him for so long, it’s just something I sense.
What kind of guy is he?
I couldn’t ask for a better guy. He helps around the house, makes dinner.
Have you tried oral sex?
No, I think he has given up. He used to be the most open person, but now he’s closed in.
Do you use a vibrator?
I bought one and it was huge. It wasn’t going to work in a bag in the underwear drawer. I actually bought him a penis pump, but he threw it away. He tried it, but said it was painful.
What was your sex life like before he had the health issues?
It was great, great sex. Spontaneous and fun. Sometimes we had sex several times a night. It was great.
You went from having sex every day to nothing?
There was some after the seizure, but it was sporadic and then it dwindled off to nothing.
Does he ever try to stimulate you with his hands?
He used to, but not anymore. I lost track, but it’s probably been about three years since he tried to stimulate me. I never asked him to help me have an orgasm.
How did this make you feel?
I was very resentful. I thought maybe there was someone else.
Do you think he had an affair?
No, I don’t. There’s no way.
Did you ever think of having an affair?
No, I don’t want to plus it would crush him. I don’t want to be with anyone else.
Do you ever try to turn him on?
Not recently, no. It has been a while. After the seizure I would, but then he just wasn’t interested.
How often do you bring up sex or talk about it?
It used to be a lot, but not too often now. Basically it has fizzled out.
What do you hope the Sinclair Institute sex videos will provide for the two of you?
I am hoping it will make him want to find out what the root of the problem is and find a remedy for it. He has resigned himself to being old. The sex is gone and the romance is gone. There is no more spark.