Would You Invite Your Aging Parents To Live With You?

Looking like we may move in with them. Too much trauma to move them but one is terminally ill and the other in poor health trying to cope. I already go to their house every day to provide care–washing/ dressing etc.–but it’s getting to the point where more is needed. A big decision though to let my home go so I can move in with them. Hard times ahead.”

Sharon Weeder-Smytheman

“Did just that. I had my mother in my home for her last 11 years. The most difficult part is now that she’s gone, I miss the everyday companionship/love bond. Definitely leaves a big void in my life now and it’s hard to be alone.“

Debbie Niday Lonon

“Yes, but my mom at 90 is very active. She needs the stimulation of friends and constant planned activities. If she gets to a point where she really slows down, then she could live with us. We just aren’t exciting enough for her.”

Nancy Austin Hunziker

“I did. Unfortunately, my dad died before they got here. My mom lived with us for a year before a nursing home became necessary. Perhaps if I had not been fighting breast cancer and fibromyalgia, she could have stayed longer. Being an only child, I had a special connection with her and still miss her every day after 10 years.”

Trudi Googins  

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  • Tired Gramma

    Oh boy… I thank GOD my Father is doing SUPER at his age.. he is 90 and still going strong. SO well… and he lives with my single Sister. In another state! So hard to think… of ME getting old and crippled. IF I had been in the position to take in my parents.. I would have but I’d of been weeping. My folks are super critical. As a teen, I counted off the days til I turned 18 to move right out. And far away. I made it a huge point in my life to NOT be like them with my children. It worked because I have all of them saying MOM you can live with ME if you need to…. because it is approaching… on the horizon. They do not say the same to their father because he has become a bad alcoholic and so weird in his declining years. NO one wants to put up with him. Only me.. I feel obligated? Grateful for the good years? Whatever. But when you do not have nice parents… oh how awful to think of them being in your house!!!! Yikes

  • mm

    Lol, my father told me that if anything happened to my mom, he was moving in with me. That was fine with me. He ended up passing 1st and I invited my mom to live with me. She refused and went to an independent living facility.Her mom lived with us growing up and for a time my dad’s mom did too. I always regretted that she didn’t move in. Actually, I think it would have been easier. I hated dealing with the facility. You have to watch them like a hawk. I called every night, ran errands, and visited often as did Some of my other siblings.

  • Dinni Bryan Kubala

    I took in my parents when my father, with Parkinson’s with dementia could no longer drive. My mother had health issues but no dementia. I learned from the Area Agency on Aging and an Elder Attorney that it is a huge mistake. When my father’s dementia got worse and my mother’s mind was getting compromised, the danger to themselves and us, was very scary. I could write a book on what went on. My father needed to be in a dementia unit of a facility for his and our safety. But he and my mother said he didn’t need it, even though their doctor advised me to do it. Legally, I was told that if they said they didn’t want to leave, it was their home because it was their address, and I could not force them. I would have had to get an attorney, at my cost, and go to court to prove incompetency and the danger. That would take months and lots of money. I asked the professionals if I had to wait until they burned up or blew up my house before I could do something….they said unfortunately, that’s the law. I tell everyone I can this story, because a lot of people do not realize it, until it’s too late. NEVER allow your parents to move in. There are many other options.