Months ago, we gave 12 FOF couples or singles the chance to win one of Sinclair Institute’s sex education videos. Then we interviewed the winners, both before and after they watched the videos of their choice, to find out if what they learned helped them in the bedroom. We first spoke with winners FOF Sandra, 53, and her husband Mark, 60, in April, and again a few days ago. Here, in their “after” interview, they reveal the new techniques that are rocking their, well, bed. They also explain why they’ve already recommended the videos to two family members.
We highly recommend that you read this entire interview. If you don’t want to buy these videos when you’re done, you either have a sex life that’s second to none or you don’t care about sex at all.
We applaud Sandra and Mark for their refreshing honesty and forthrightness. After all, sex isn’t a dirty word!
FOF: Which videos did you try?
Sandra: The Better Sex Video Series.
FOF: How did you prepare to watch it?
Sandra: We just sat together on the couch. We have a 12-year-old son at home, so we had to wait until he was at soccer practice, when we could watch the videos together.
Did you watch all three videos at once?
Mark: We watched them all, a few days apart.
How did you feel about watching them? Any concerns? Excitement?
Sandra: I was a little nervous about it. I didn’t know what to expect, but I was pretty ok. I felt comfortable and safe with my husband.
Mark: I felt the same. As soon as we watched the first one, I felt at ease. It features real couples. The filmmakers interviewed them, and you felt like you really got to know them before they actually showed them having sex. The couples talked about how they met, how long they’d been married, what their relationships were like. And then, boom, they’re naked!
Sandra: (Laughing). They do it in a very fun way. I really related to them. Although their bodies were in very good shape. We’re not quite there yet, but it was nice to look at!
Mark: To be honest, I thought it was refreshing to see a variety of people–a woman with small breasts and an older couple. Shy women and not shy women. It’s kind of neat to see that. Everyone is represented.
Tell us about what you learned.
Mark: Most important, it really got us talking. It stimulated a lot of good conversation about sex techniques. What we were and were not comfortable with.
Which sex techniques?
Sandra: Well, since we’ve only been married three years, some of the things that were in the video we had talked about but not done…like role playing, spanking. It opened the door for us to talk about that. I’m not shy in the bedroom, but I also don’t talk much in the bedroom. It made it easier for me to talk about what works better for me.
Mark: It definitely encouraged us to go slower during foreplay. To create more arousal in each other.
Sandra: It was nice to see that the women would sometimes laugh when they tried new things. It made me feel like, it’s okay to laugh at first. You don’t have to be really serious… It’s play.
Mark: They encourage you to be creative and do whatever is best for you.
Sandra: It really helped me to hear women talk about what works best for them. Several women talked about needing clitoral, vaginal and anal stimulation all at once. To have a really good orgasm, that’s what they need! But I always thought that was weird. When I heard all those different women talking about their needs, I felt better. Everyone needs something different. I’m not strange.
Mark: They were very clear about the anatomy. The fact that the vagina has several places that can be stimulated….I was very ignorant about that. It also helped break free of habits from the past. Like, I tend to focus on one part of the body at a time….vagina or breasts. But it showed you to stimulate more that one part at the same time. It seems so simple…I don’t want to make it sound like I’m a prude or don’t know anything, but sometimes you just don’t think of that and it can make a huge difference.
As you get older, you can feel naive or silly when you don’t know things, but the videos are really good about exposing all those ideas in your head. You don’t have to get it exactly right… This is practice.
What else did you learn that really helped you? What do you think you’ll keep using?
Sandra: A lot of things. We definitely took more time at the beginning. And Mark took more of an aggressive, dominant role, which I really liked.
Mark: She really liked that. I didn’t know she would like that! It wasn’t just the techniques… It was the attitude. Also, I learned that she needed three kinds of stimulation. I didn’t know that.
Sandra: For me, it takes a lot of concentration, so I don’t like to talk during sex, but I don’t mind if he does. But I don’t like him to ask me questions…it distracts me. It helped us sort that out.
Mark: She also learned that I like a little lingerie. Sometimes she comes to bed naked, ready to jump in! But I actually like it when she wears something a little sexy. They explain that men are very visual and that can make a difference. That’s part of my foreplay.
FOF: It sounds like those little things can make a huge difference.
Mark: We knew that we both needed to make lovemaking more of a priority, timewise. But we also learned that we need to make the time we have work better. It helps so much to really know what the other person needs. We have a great personal relationship as man and wife. We adore each other. We just know that lovemaking can be more a reflection of that. And now we know it’s a matter of practicing and just going deeper. My wife is very patient with me. She’s been very patient and sensitive about premature ejaculation issues. I need to be sensitive to her as well.
Would you recommend these videos to another FOF couple?
Sandra: We would definitely recommend these. I already recommended them to my sister and even to my older daughter!
Mark: It’s obviously for someone mature, but it’s not like pornography at all. It’s very well done.
Sandra: I’m looking forward to actually ordering more things from Sinclair. They talk about some of the toys in the videos. I’m going to go online and look some of that stuff up!