Are You Starting To Let The Physical Changes In Your Body Change The Way You Think and Act?

Kirstie Alley looks marvelous again, having lost 50 pounds during the past year. She was beautiful when she was on Cheers in her mid 30s, and she’s still beautiful—and sexy—as she approaches 64. Without playing psychiatrist, I can safely say that Kirstie Alley didn’t feel too good about herself for many years, when she “let herself go,” as my mom would have said. She gained loads of weight, dressed slovenly, had messy-looking hair and didn’t wear a lick of makeup.

Kirstie recently told Matt Lauer on the Today Show that she was motivated to change this time because she wants to continue acting, “hook up,” and feel good about herself during this period of her life. She vows she will finally continue to take care of herself.

Although most of us would never dream of “letting ourselves go,” like the talented actress and comedienne had done, many women over 50 do, indeed, start to let physical changes in our bodies change the way we think and act.

“Not one of us has ‘come of age’ without weathering bumpy periods and having to make adjustments to a life’s plan. Each of us has matured through the life events that have shaped our characters. Now, as we meet new and inevitable challenges and opportunities, we can draw on a lifetime of experiences,” writes 70-year-old Anne Reizer in the introduction to her smart new book, Beautiful Encore, Makeovers For Mature Women.

“Women in our generation have worn all manner of clothing and hairstyles in our lifetimes,” Anne continues. “We spent our twenties in miniskirts. We have worn culottes, maxi dresses, wrap dresses, dresses that looked like nightgowns, power suits with dramatic shoulder pads, western and bohemian styles. We have idolized women like Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis and Audrey Hepburn. Why are we now limiting our style and grooming to a much more narrow menu. Do we feel minimized by our ages? Do we feel that only young women have a right to feel beautiful? Have we decided, for the sake of convenience, to give up—to let apathy dictate that we let go of our curiosity and our commitment to looking good?”

I am not crazy about the term “mature women,” (at least it’s better than “senior” AARGH!) but I am crazy about the message in Anne’s book. If we relax our commitment to “looking good” on the outside, it won’t take long until we feel crappy on the inside. “Without a polished exterior, your interior is in shadow. Illuminating yourself by caring about your hair clothing, makeup, and most important of all your health is neither a superficial pursuit nor an insurmountable goal. Looking good leads to engagement and success in other facets of your life,” Anne explains.

Think about it this way: Have you ever known a put-together woman, in her 50s, 60s or 70s,
who didn’t care about her health, her work, her family, her friends? I haven’t.

Although Beautiful Encore presents before-and-after photos of 27 “real” women over 50, this is not a how-to book, Anne explains in the introduction. It doesn’t tell us what cut is best for our hair, what blush is best for our cheeks or what sweater and slacks are best for our shape. Rather, the photos are designed to inspire and empower each of us to “reinvest” in ourselves, “physically and emotionally.” Each of the featured women has a different story, body type and lifestyle. But all of them share the “curiosity and positive attitude necessary for change,” Anne writes. “A sense of curiosity keeps life interesting,” she explains. “New people, new experiences, new goals and new ideas add to my belief that life is expanding, not narrowing.”

Besides the stories and photographs of the women, the book includes 10 health and beauty articles, written by experts, that explore topics such as exercise, nutrition and hearing. “Older Wiser Happy,” the first article, by psychotherapist Pamela Benison, talks about the challenges of aging that we all face—no matter who we are or where we are—and how we can unlock and use our inner resources to welcome and overcome them, and “create a happy, healthy future.”

Pamela quotes Eleanor Roosevelt:

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence
by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself,
‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’”

Fame After 50: Loved It, Left It, Longs For It

This is the story of three real women—one in her late 70s, one in her early 60s, and one in her late 50s—who have either achieved fame, given up fame
or are on an endless quest for it.

Searching for
New-Found Fame

I recently met the woman in her late 70s, whose name is known to most of us over fifty. I’m not going to reveal her identity, however, because what I’m going to say probably wouldn’t delight her. Besides, her identity is less important than what she symbolizes.

This woman has enjoyed a great deal of professional and personal success throughout much of her adult life. I guess you could have even called her a “celebrity” from the 70s through the 90s. But while she has continued to do her craft, and has a great deal to offer others, her “star” doesn’t shine nearly as brightly as it once did. This is not because she’s any less talented now, but simply because the “world” in which she once circulated no longer exists. For one, the media that helped her attain fame—namely newspapers and magazines—don’t have the clout they once did. So even if she’s quoted and her photo appears in the New York Times this morning, no one much cares or thinks about it by noon. Second, she hasn’t created a powerful presence for herself on the Internet. She’s trying, but she lacks the digital marketing savvy she needs. No matter how successful she is at attracting real live audiences when she lectures, in person, that doesn’t translate to a great number of fans on her website or Facebook page.

Now, here’s the rub: This woman yearns for the good old days, when she would draw a crowd around her by just walking into a party, and the next morning her name would appear in all the papers, which only fueled her celebrity status. While chatting about the present, I sensed that her mind was focused far away from our conversation. Oh, she’s darn astute, I assure you, but seemed most “present” when she talked about the past. Part of the reason, I suppose, is that she lost her husband a number of years ago, a man with whom she enjoyed great happiness, both personally and professionally.

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Let’s Start A National Movement To Ban The “S” Word

I hereby declare the start of a movement to banish the word “senior” from the English language,
as in “senior citizen.”

And, while we’re at it, let’s say bye-bye to the phrases “golden years” and “old age.”

I didn’t think of myself as a “child” when I was 8, a “teenager” when I was 15; a “young adult” when I was 24, or a middle-aged woman” when I was 45. And I surely didn’t start thinking of my myself as a “senior” at the tender age of 50, when the depressing, AARP organization sent me a membership application. I don’t feel any different, at 67. What’s more, If I’m lucky enough to live into my 80s or 90s, don’t call me “elderly.”

I realize it’s convenient for demographers, sociologists, academics and psychologists to label people populations, but boomers refuse to get “old,” even if 60 is a bigger number than 20 and it takes us a little longer to leap tall buildings in a single bound.

Consider what Harry Moody, 69, former director of academic affairs for AARP, told a New York Times writer a couple of years ago: “What’s going on is we have a problem with the subject itself. Everyone wants to live longer, but no one wants to be old. Personally, I tend to use the term ‘older people’ because it’s the least problematic. Everyone is older than someone else.

“Much of the time, it’s completely unnecessary to use age as an identifier at all. People don’t like it. That’s why you see organizations changing their names. Elderhostel got rid of ‘elder’ and became Road Scholar. AARP shortened its name, which now doesn’t mention age or retirement,” Moody said.

I also think women who refuse to disclose their ages—even if they’re clearly over 50—are doing us all a disservice. Aren’t they actually capitulating to those who think we’re useless and elderly after 50? If I have more energy, passion, drive and creativity than many people half my age, why should I hide the fact I’m 67? I can hear all my 30-something friends lovingly calling me “a pain in the neck,” “stubborn,” and “opinionated,” but I don’t think they’d pin the label “senior citizen” on my new jean overalls.

Press releases with the “S” word continually pop up in my email, such as one with this headline:

CELEBRATE NATIONAL GRANDPARENTS DAY WITH SENIOR-FRIENDLY ACTIVITIES ON SEPTEMBER 7th 2014.

Don’t you just love the term “senior-friendly”? The release was sprinkled with other endearing words, like “the elderly”, and gave us spectacularly uncreative advice, including taking “the elderly” on “fun” activities like picnics. My mother died a few years ago, one month shy of 87. I never referred to her as elderly a single day of her life. And her “fun” activities included going to the Shakespeare class at the Y and playing bridge.

I decided to ask the “junior” PR person, who sent the release, to explain how her company defined “senior.” She responded: “Someone who is at least 60.”

AARGH!!!!!

How I Changed My Life At 51

This blog post is sponsored by MSD Consumer Care, Inc., the makers of Oxytrol® For Women.

I had risen through the ranks during my 23-year-career at a publishing company, to become an Executive Editor and Publisher. I had a six-figure salary, a great family health plan and I had been pretty much free to cultivate my own ideas for the publications I ran. I was pretty certain I’d still be an employee there when I died. Why not?

When I turned 51, in 1998, I suddenly thought I had to get out. I had given the company immeasurable passion, talent and time over two decades and continuously helped boost its “bottom line.” Why couldn’t I do the same things, but for my own business? Not only could I benefit financially; I could explore new avenues for my creativity, such as custom magazine publishing.

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Staness and I Ate Like Women

Question:

What do you serve to a friend whose revolutionary new book, Eat Like A Woman, is going to be featured on one of the two big morning shows next month?

Answer:

You serve her one of the dishes from her book, of course!!!

My beautiful, talented and all-around wonderful pal, Staness Jonekos, flew in from LA this week for a media tour, so I decided to cook a Honey-Glazed Spiced Pork Tenderloin for her, from a recipe in Eat Like A Woman.

The elegant recipe was simple to follow and took under 20 minutes to put together. The two-pound pork tenderloin cooked in about 25 minutes.

The dish was light and scrumptious. Slightly spicy and sweet at the same time (it’s made with a dash of cayenne pepper, as well as honey), I served it with broccoli and garlic. Pork tenderloin is super lean, extremely low in fat, sodium and cholesterol, and full of protein.

I’m not going to give you the recipe here because I want you to buy the book, but here are the nutrition facts for 3 ounces of pork tenderloin: 122 calories, 3 grams of fat, 0 carbs, 0 sugar and 22 grams of protein. As Staness would say: “Yummers!”

Eat Like A Woman is not a cookbook. It’s worlds better because it tells us what we should eat, why we should eat it, and when we should eat it. The recipes in the back are bonuses.

I’m tempted to next make the Dolly Parton’s Hello Dolly Bars. Staness is crazy about them. They’re not dietetic but, as my friend says: “Practice portion control and you don’t need to diet.”

Talent Search

One of the best gifts the Internet gives us is the ability to “meet” incredibly talented people from all over the globe. Just check your Facebook news feed or YouTube and you might hear a bewitching seven-year-old Norwegian girl singing like Billie Holiday, see an enthrallingly realistic watercolor by the wife of your former Yoga instructor, or read a moving blog that makes you weep. How lucky we are to experience the wonderful talents of our fellow men (and women), as well as to share our own with others around the world.

After all, who doesn’t love to show off her “gifts,” even if just a wee bit?

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How Much Are YOU Worth To The “Network”?

You think you’re a “fan” of FabOverFifty on the largest social networking site in the world, don’t you?

But, in fact, you’re really just an opportunity for this “network” to make more money. Let us explain: This morning we posted an article to our “network” page called “8 Foods That Make You Happy”, but the “network” ‘showed’ it to only about 600 of our 42,658 fans, about 1.4 percent.

This is a dramatic departure from how the “network” operated in the recent past, when it showed our posts to thousands of our fans. If we want all of our “fans” to see our article, we have to “boost” the post and pay the “network” $810.

We assume you became a fan of FabOverFifty on the “network” because you like our content, our giveaways and our style. And we love you for it. But the “network” no longer wants to give you access to our content unless we pay them for it.

The “network” wasn’t content making money from the thousands of companies who use it to advertise their goods and services.

Now the “network” wants to make money from small companies, like FabOverFifty, by leveraging our fans.

Please don’t get us wrong. We like to make money, too, but not by abusing the people who helped us grow in the first place. Without all our fans, there would be no “network”.

Why turn our fans into your pawns, Mr. Network?

The Wendy Chronicle

I didn’t know much about playwright Wendy Wasserstein, who died in 2006, at 55, except that she was single; funny; won a Pulitzer Prize for her play, “The Sisters Rosensweig;” had a great many creative and well-known friends; gave birth to a baby daughter, but never revealed the father, and was the sister of Bruce Wasserstein, a genius (if not pompous) billionaire investment banker, who died a few years after Wendy.Wendy Wasserstein

Now a new biography, “Wendy and The Lost Boys. The Uncommon Life of Wendy Wasserstein,” by Julie Salamon, gives us a (sometimes) painful look into her background. Her mother, Lola, was a piece of work. When she was walking down the street once with a young Wendy, she pointed to the crowd and said, “They are all looking at you and thinking, ‘Look at that fat girl.'” After her husband died, at 29, Lola married his brother, but neglected to tell her second set of kids, Wendy included. Wendy learned the facts from a sister.
The antithesis of her professional life, Wendy’s personal life was unsatisfying, a conflict Wendy apparently never resolved.

Wendy’s daughter, now 12, lost her mother when she was seven and her uncle, Bruce, when she was around 10, the two people she loved most in the world. I trust the young girl is showered with love by her mother’s close friends, who must miss her every single day.

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Fab Over Fifty
Fab Woman

Elaina Spilove

Elaina Spilove, 59,
Philadelphia

SVP,
Director, Graystone Consulting

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Order a bottle of P50 from www.beautyhabit.com and get free shipping!
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The age of reason

A former friend refused to reveal her age. We’d often talk about intimate subjects—affairs to salaries—but AGE was strictly off limits.  A fashion and beauty writer and editor, I think she was concerned that potential employers wouldn’t hire her if they thought she was “too old.”

Perhaps they wouldn’t have. But that was then. This is now.  Fab Over Fifty women are finally coming out of the closet! Who cares what the calendar says? 48? 52? 57? 63? 85?  It’s never been cooler to turn fifty.

How FOF can you get? I’m not sure how Heidi (above, right, with mom Liv) from Anchorage feels about her state’s former Governor, but I do know how she feels as she’s about to turn FOF. “I turn fifty next August, the same summer my youngest son graduates from high school and my oldest from college. When they were two and five, I became a single mom and started law school. Three years later, I passed the bar exam and finished a master’s degree in theology I had started in my twenties.

“When my sons were in elementary school, I tried to be a nurturing, hands-on, cookie-baking, field-trip attending mom, a primary provider and a law firm associate. But the relational costs were too high, so I left the firm to help start a program that provided legal services to those who couldn’t afford them.

“As my oldest son entered his teenage years, I balanced my desires as a mom, professional, and provider by becoming a career law clerk in federal court. Now that my sons are graduating and I am facing fifty full on, I wonder how I will reinvent myself. I am grateful for all that has been and am excited about all that is yet to come.”

Heidi in the mountains...no fairy tale
Heidi in the mountains...no fairy tale

Heidi also manages to look beautiful, hike and have a great relationship with her 72-year old FOF mom, Liv, who just finished her second mini-triathlon.

I wonder if my former friend feels as good about herself as Heidi and Liv. Good enough to say:

What’s age got to do with it?