{Test This} Kiss My Itch Goodbye

Kiss My Itch Goodbye ($8 for 2oz) could be your scratching savior. For those of us affected by itchy skin, we know that it’s more than just a little annoyance.

Over time, excessive scratching can lead to red, cracked skin. Everyday creams often do little to combat the problem, whether it’s caused by the weather, fabric allergies, or a mild skin condition like eczema. Prolonged scratching also can cause infections and even scarring, so we better ditch the itch completely.

(more…)

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DrupalDoctorQ-#275

Will radio frequency with infrared light really help eliminate cellulite?
I’m slightly below normal weight for my height, eat pretty healthy (no dairy, good fats, lots of veggies), workout 5 times a week plus several miles of walking. But the chubby cellulite on my thighs and seat barely responds. Are there any non-invasive treatments that work for a prolonged period of time?

Thanks,
Arrg.

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{My Story} How I Regret-Proofed My Life After Fifty

FOF Claire Fontaine is giving away three copies of her book, Have Mother, Will Travel. Three FOFs will win. Enter to win by answering this question in the comments below: Have you ever traveled with a grown up son or daughter?

FOF Claire Fontaine spent the first fifty years of her life “bound up being a mom,” trying to overcome her daughters drug addiction and dedicating years to her own self-discovery. Then, at fifty-one, Claire realized “oops, she forgot to plan for life after motherhood.”

Here, she shares the journey (literal and symbolic) that she took for regret-proofing her life after fifty.


Claire (left) with her daughter, Mia (right) stop to pose in front of the Great Wall Of China on their trip with Global Scavenger Hunt.
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A few years ago, when my daughter Mia asked me what I wanted to be doing with my life now that I was fifty, the answer wasn’t pretty.

“Not what I’m doing right now.”

To wit: on impulse I’d left Los Angeles, a city and a creative community I loved, to buy a historic fixer-upper in Florida, the hottest state in the nation, just in time for hot flashes and direct hits by four hurricanes; my marriage needed as much renovating as my house; I’d co-authored a bestselling book but hadn’t written in two years; my relationship with my mother had shattered; and my once close relationship with my daughter had grown stale and strained. The kind of mothering I was doing sends young women to postcardsfromyomomma.com. Everything else I was doing was sending me to fmylife.com.

When Mia called and asked me what I did want to be doing now that my life was half over (thanks, kid), my answer wasn’t any prettier.

“This isn’t going to sound very good,” I said after a pause. “But I’ve never actually had a concrete vision of my life at fifty.”

That was the wake-up call I needed, actually saying it out loud—I was fifty going on the rest of my life with no idea where that was. And leave it to my daughter to wake me up—again. Her dreadful downward spiral of drug addiction as a teen forced me to recognize that I’d been asleep in my own life, an experience she and I chronicled in our first joint memoir, Come Back. It also forced both of us through a lengthy and rather brutal process of self-examination that transformed our lives forever.

And let me tell you, transformation is hard work. I took courses and workshops on accountability, leadership, creating results; I meditated, carried affirmation cards, made Wheel of Life charts; I had terrific coaching on relationship skills and living intentionally. I knew the power of living consciously and intentionally rather than by default, I made a vision map years before most folks knew what it was. I even went on to counsel other families for several years. Yet, when life got tough, I didn’t fight for my own life the way I did for Mia’s when she hit the skids. Instead, I wallowed in irritation and blame. When I wasn’t blaming the house, the heat, or the husband, I blamed myself.

Shortly after that phone call with Mia, I came across that old vision map. I opened it up, flattened it out and marveled at the wrinkled images of my dream life: travel to Europe with Mia, become fit and strong, use my writing to help others, inner stillness, my daughter home, healed and healthy. It was the first time I realized, as wild as some of those dreams seemed at the time, I’d manifested every single thing on the map.

It was a life-changing moment for two reasons—first, I remembered how powerful I, or any woman, with a strong vision can be; second, it was a vision for who I was then: a woman whose sole identity was bound up in being a mom, a role that was prolonged first because of Mia’s dangerous behavior, then by writing and speaking about it nationally. I never bothered to dream up a new life for a post-motherhood, mid-life me.

A vision has the wondrous, empowering quality of keeping you both clear and focused on the future and fully engaged in the present. Without a clear picture of your desired future, there’s no reason to find a way around the brick walls we all hit in life. A vision prevents a brick wall from becoming a destination, a permanent address for a victim, with a BMW (Bitch, Moan, Whine) in the driveway. It acts as a filter for all your choices, big and small, sorting the wheat (future results) from the chaff (future regrets).

To know what I truly wanted, I knew I needed to remember who I truly was. Who was I before I became the “good girl,” always doing what I should – the “good” girlfriend, wife, mother, homemaker? What would make that girl I’d repressed for so long happy?

I decided to take time to find out, to hear my own voice again. And I decided to do it with the person who knew me best–Mia. We’d never used any of the money we’d made from our first memoir to celebrate its success. So we decided to finally use it and set off around the world together, to learn about ourselves, each other, and what mother and daughterhood looks like globally.

The first part of the trip was a madcap global scavenger hunt through twelve countries, followed by a summer together in South France. While there, I decided to make another vision map. I let myself dream big. And I had Mia there for support and feedback. I learned more from my wise and compassionate daughter than I ever taught her.

(Clockwise from left) Claire and Mia tour the Pyramids of Egypt on horse and camelback, Posing in front of the cliffs of Meteora, Greece, A rest stop in front of Veliko Tarnovo during their Balkin leg of the trip.

It was a happy, energizing undertaking, but bittersweet. During the trip, I discovered things about myself I’d forgotten, and acknowledged things I’d simply suppressed. And I realized that while you may not know what you’ve got till it’s gone, you also don’t know what doesn’t matter to you until you realize you don’t miss it. I gave myself permission not only to declare exactly what I wanted, but also to leave behind what I didn’t. Which was almost everything in my life: house, heat and husband (as wonderful a man as he is.)

My return would not be easy. It’s one thing to dream on a piece of poster board, another to make it happen in real life. But I did. One choice at a time. Over a year’s time I would leave it all—home, most of my belongings, the security of marriage. I didn’t even have a clue what city I’d live in. But I had a vision, I had trust, and I had me. I still do.
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Claire Fontaine is the co-author of two memoirs Come Back: A Mother and Daughter’s Journey Through Hell and Back, HarperCollins 2007, and Have Mother, Will Travel: A Mother and Daughter Discover Themselves, Each Other and The World, William Morrow 2012. She’s also a national public speaker and certified life coach. She divides her time between the U.S. and France, most recently Paris, where she spent five months researching a historic novel.

Enter to win Claire’s book, Have Mother, Will Travel by answering this question in the comments below: Have you ever traveled with a grown up son or daughter?

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Three FOFs will win. (See all our past winners, here.) (See official rules, here.) Contest closes August 13, 2012 at midnight E.S.T.

Should You Choose A Male Or Female Breast Surgeon? A Conversation With Dr. Tracy Pfeifer

Is there an advantage going to a woman plastic surgeon for breast augmentations or lifts?

I hear from patients every week that they feel more comfortable talking to women doctors than with male surgeons. They say they can more easily express themselves and be understood. We can also identify with them and with the changes in their bodies. For example, some male surgeons think every woman should get implants. In some cases they also tell patients how big they should be.

How does a woman decide whether she should have implants or just a breast lift?

Some women are small and know they need implants to be bigger. But if you’re wearing a C cup, you’re filling it out and you think it looks pretty good, you probably should just have a lift.

Are there many female plastic surgeons?

No, women account for only 10 percent of all plastic surgeons.

Why?

I am sure there are many factors. Traditionally, there’s been a prejudice against women in the world of general surgery. We weren’t considered tough enough to go through the grueling surgery training programs.

How grueling?

I studied general surgery for five years, followed by a two –year residency program in plastic surgery and then a six-month fellowship in breast surgery.

Why did you choose breast surgery as your specialty?

It’s creative and I find it rewarding to deal with so many different patients. We often have interaction afterwards since I see my breast patients for yearly follow-up visits. I also believe in specializing. I don’t do rhinoplasty. However, I do injectables, facelifts, neck lifts and eyelid surgery (blepharoplasty).

What advice do you give FOF women when choosing a plastic surgeon?

Don’t look for reviews on Google and don’t imbue doctors with abilities they don’t have. If your friend had a beautiful facelift by a doctor who is genius at facelifts that doesn’t mean he or she is a genius at performing breast implants. Talk to some of the doctor’s other patients and absolutely ask a surgeon about her background and training. Someone may have trained at an excellent institution for general surgery but has only a mediocre reputation in plastic surgery. Find out also about their breadth of experience. I’m 50, so I have a great deal of experience in breast surgery.

Once we choose a doctor, should we leave everything in her hands, so to speak?

Before your surgery, you should understand exactly what the surgeon intends to do. It’s a little scary when I read online sites, such as www.Realself.com, where doctors answer questions posted by patients. Patients sometimes indicate they’re going into surgery in a few days without any idea what’s going to happen.

Give an example of what can happen if you don’t do enough research on a surgeon or on the procedure you’re about to have.

Let’s say a woman over 60 wears a C cup and has lots of volume, but she’s lost volume in the upper half of her breasts due to gravity. It’s not enough to simply work on the drooping skin because it will start drooping again before too long. A top surgeon will work with the internal tissue so the lift lasts more than a couple of years. Sometimes I insert Strattice (a piece of sterilized pig skin) into the breasts, to reinforce the lift, which can help prolong the longevity of the result. Not all plastic surgeons have experience with advanced breast surgery techniques.

Are many FOF women having work on their breasts?

Breast reductions are quite commons among women who are 60+. They tell me they’ve always wanted smaller breasts, but their father or husbands didn’t want them to do it. The surgery totally changes their lives.

That’s exciting, but many women who’d love to have breast surgery can’t afford to do it. It’s so costly and medical insurance doesn’t pick up the cost.

It is a common misconception that insurance doesn’t cover breast reduction, when, in fact, it does in the majority of cases. We try to accommodate patients who don’t have insurance or whose insurance will not cover the procedure, as well as those who prefer to use a plastic surgeon who doesn’t accept insurance. We will let a patient pay over time. I also like a financing program that Care Credit offers for plastic surgery. The patient can pay off the loan over 12 months without interest.

.

Dr. Tracy Pfeifer

969 Madison Avenue
New York, New York 10028

Tel: (212) 860-0670
www.drpfeifer.com

Click here to view Dr. Pfeifer’s patient before and after.

{FOF Book Critic} Not-to-be-missed summer fiction

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We’re still only half way through the publishing year, but, I’m sure I can already tell you two books that will be on every reviewer’s ‘Best Books of 2012’ lists,” says FOF book critic Linda Wolfe, the award-winning author of 10 books and a 12-year veteran of the National Book Critics Circle. “[These books] are [also] sure to be nominees for the prestigious National Book Critics Circle fiction award: Bring Up the Bodies, Hilary Mantel’s glorious sequel to Wolf Hall, and Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk, a stunning first novel by short story writer Ben Fountain.

“In addition, there are other bookish pleasures to be had this summer,” says Linda. “Books that will transport you, whether you’re off to some wondrous vacation destination or stuck sizzlingly at home.”

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BRING UP THE BODIES by Hilary Mantel
Henry Holt. 410 pp.

I remember that when Mantel’s Wolf Hall came out in 2010, I read it very slowly, rationing myself to a score or so of pages a day to prolong the joy the book was giving me. Then, to my surprise, when I got within sixty pages of the end, I did something I hadn’t done since I was a pre-teen.  I went back and read the book all over again, until finally, I finished it.  Not without regrets.  I’d wanted this work of galloping wit and invention never to end.

Like many women I know, I was more than a little in love with Mantel’s brilliant, complicated Thomas Cromwell, Henry VIII’s confidante and chief secretary, a statesman who was a humanitarian and social radical, a master of languages, an admirer of Latin poetry, and an adoring husband and father who could brandish a stiletto, cook up a gingery eel sauce, evaluate the worth of an oriental carpet, and stay loyal to his friends even when the rest of the world shunned them. So too, were a great number of women I knew, one of whom reminisced to me recently, “All day I couldn’t wait for it to be nighttime, so I could get in bed with Cromwell.”

Well, he’s back again, and he’s just as fascinating, albeit a little less loveable, for in Bodies, Mantel gives us the side of Cromwell–masked in the first book–that is capable of suppressing doubts and foregoing moral principles to hold onto power. He is dedicated to his master, the king, wants above all to serve Henry well and for his kingdom to prosper.  “His greatest ambition for England is this,” Mantel tells us. “The prince and his commonwealth should be in accord.  He doesn’t want the kingdom to be run like [his father] Walter’s house in Putney, with fighting all the time and the sound of banging and shrieking day and night. He wants it to be a household where everybody knows what they have to do, and feels safe doing it.” But, Henry has grown tired of his second wife,  Anne Boleyn, with whom he had fallen so passionately in love that in order to divorce his first wife and marry Anne he had torn the kingdom away from Catholicism and started his own religion. Now, when Henry hints to Cromwell that he wishes to be rid of Anne, who has turned out to be not only a nag and a shrew, but has failed to  produced a male heir to the throne, Cromwell thinks of his mentor, Cardinal Wolsey, who was forced from power,  humiliated, and hounded to his death when he didn’t aid Henry to marry Anne. “To his inner ear, the cardinal speaks.  He says, ‘I saw you…scratching your balls in the dawn and wondering at the violence of the king’s whims.  If he wants a new wife, fix him one. I didn’t, and I am dead.’”

Cromwell will fix Henry a new wife, bringing Anne to trial on dubious charges of adultery and, using trumped-up evidence, causing her and a handful of implicated courtiers executed. But his efforts come at  great cost. He has accumulated powerful enemies. But more importantly, he has deadened a part of  himself. “He once thought,” he reflects, “that he might die of grief: for his wife, his daughters, his sisters, his father and master the cardinal. But the pulse, obdurate, keeps its rhythm.  You think you cannot keep breathing, but your rib cage has other ideas, rising and falling, emitting sighs.  You may thrive in spite of yourself; and so that you may do it, God takes out your heart of flesh, and gives you a heart of stone.”

Mantel, I’ve heard, had originally planned her sequel to follow Cromwell to his ultimate fall from power, but was persuaded to tell the story  in three parts–the better to secure more book sales.  I don’t care that Bring Up the Bodies stops short of the denouement.  Now, I’ve got a third book to look forward to as eagerly as I awaited this one.

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BILLY LYNN’S LONG HALFTIME WALK by Ben Fountain.
Ecco.  307 pp.

Billy Lynn, Ben Fountain’s dazzling first novel, is bound for the literary peaks.  It’s the Great American Novel of the twenty-first century so far, the Catch 22 of the Iraq war, the sweet spot where satire and heartbreak, scintillating language, unforgettable characters, and sharp-eyed insight into American life combine to make a book unlike any other you’ve read.  Besides which, you’ll fall in love with Billy.  He’s not Thomas Cromwell, but he’s quite a guy!

Billy’s just nineteen, a soldier in Iraq, who, with the ten members of his small squad, nicknamed Bravo, engaged in a fierce gun battle with insurgents that was taped by a Fox “embed” and broadcast on national TV.  As the heroism of this small band of brothers goes viral through the culture, the Army quickly spots an advantage to bringing Billy and the eight surviving members of Bravo back home for a fourteen-day “Victory Tour.” A film producer latches onto them in the hopes of selling their story to Hollywood, members of the public go wild upon meeting them, pressing their flesh and spouting words like “terrRist, freedom, nina leven, currj, sacrifice,” and the owner of the Dallas Cowboys, a man named here as Norm Oglesby, arranges to have Bravo star–on the last day of their tour–in the stadium’s vaunted halftime spectacle, along with Beyoncé and Destiny’s Child.

A small town Texas boy who’d never left home before the war, Billy has by now, Thanksgiving Day, seen a great deal of America. “It’s the same everywhere Bravo has been,” he observes.  “The airports, the hotels, the arenas and convention centers…retail dominates the land. Somewhere along the way, America became a giant mall with a country attached.” And in Iraq, Billy has seen things he could never have imagined, including the legs of Lake, one of the troop’s members, seeming to walk after the rest of the man has been blown apart from them. “What’s happening now isn’t nearly as real as that,” Billy thinks at the stadium. “The realest things in the world these days are the things in his head….A leg.  Two legs.  Lake’s…As if waking from a long sleep, the legs begin to stir. Tentative at first, they move with a childlike air of sweetly baffled innocence, but eventually they rise, shake themselves off and set off in search of the rest of Lake.”

Billy’s scared about having to return to Iraq.  “The freaking randomness is what wears on you…the difference between life, death, and horrible injury sometimes as slight as stooping to tie your bootlace on the way to chow…turning your head to the left instead of the right.  Random.  How that shit does twist your mind.”  He’s a kid, but his experiences have made him feel older than his age, wiser than his fellow Americans. “They are bold and proud and certain in the way of clever children blessed with too much self-esteem, and no amount of lecturing will enlighten them as to the state of pure sin toward which war inclines. He pities them, scorns them, loves them, hates them. These boys and girls.  These toddlers, these infants.  Americans are children who must go somewhere else to grow up, and sometimes die.”

He’s also desperate to find himself a girlfriend.  The tour has provided him with a goodly dose of sexual experiences but he’s still a virgin, and he’s decided “Blow jobs suck, just by themselves. Well, sometimes they’re all right. Okay, usually they’re awesome as far as they go, but lately he feels the definite need for something more in his life.  It’s not so much that he’s nineteen and still technically a virgin as it is this famished feeling deep in his chest, this liposucked void where his best part should be.  He needs a woman.  No, he needs a girlfriend, he needs someone to mash into body and soul and he’s been waiting for it to happen these entire two weeks.”

Ben Fountain, whose only previous book was the 2006 story collection, Brief Encounters With Che Guevara, has said that he conceived Billy Lynn while watching the halftime show of the Dallas Cowboys game on Thanksgiving Day 2004. “It was such a blithering, surreal, over the top mashup of patriotism and soft-core pornography that, once I actually started to pay attention to it, seemed emblematic of the general insanity of American life.  One of the weirdest things was that everyone – the people in the stands, the TV announcers, the people I was with–didn’t see anything unusual about the show.  It was just America being America. Couldn’t people see that the country was completely running off the rails?  I was coming to the realization that I had no understanding whatsoever of the country where I was born and have spent my entire life.  Billy Lynn is an attempt to gain some measure of understanding, or at least a reasonably accurate portrait of the current version of American psychopathy.”

That’s what Fountain has given us, and what happens to Billy during his hours at the stadium, the girl he finds, the decisions he has to make, and the new kinds of threats he must now fight, make for exciting, hilarious, chilling reading.  This book will explode into your consciousness like an IUD.

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MÉNAGE by Alix Kates Shulman
Other Press.  269 pages

If ever there was a perfect summer read, it’s this wicked romp by Shulman, author of four novels including the feminist classic, Memoirs of an Ex-Prom Queen. Ménage tells the tangled tale of a husband, his wife, and the total stranger the husband, on a whim, invites to live in his and his wife’s luxurious suburban home.  His motives for this odd offer are complex.  The stranger, an East European novelist now down-at-heels, was once the darling of the intellectual community here and abroad, spoken for by Sontag, lionized by the literati.  The husband, Mack, a wealthy architect and collector of all the wondrous things money can buy thinks of the writer, Zoltan Barbu, as another possession, a celebrity whose residence in his home. Particularly, if while staying there, Zoltan completes the long-awaited masterpiece he’s said to have been working on for years, it will add to Mack’s own prestige.  Moreover, his wife, Heather, is a would-be novelist; perhaps having Zoltan living with them will help her with her own writing; certainly it will provide her with the intellectual companionship Mack is too preoccupied with work and the occasional sexual escapade to offer her.

You think Heather might resent this “gift” of a live-in author?  Uh-uh.  She’s totally taken with the man from the moment she sees his “tall slim figure in a black cloak–dramatic, operatic” and especially when  Zoltan, “adept at entrances,” kisses her hand, lightly brushing her knuckles with his lips and faintly teasing her arm “with the glossy lock that had  fallen over his right eye.”

From there on in, you’ll be turning pages, bursting into laughter, scratching your head, absorbed in the antics of this engaging threesome–and how all of them ultimately get exactly what they want from their turbulent time together.  A heady mix of lively dialogue, right-on social observation, and fun-pokes at literary pretension and  suburban life, this novel is full of surprises.

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The SHADES OF GREY Trilogy by E.L. James.  Vintage.
Shades of Grey. 382 pages
Fifty Shades Darker.  395 pages
Fifty Shades Freed.  468 pages

SPOILER ALERT: This review contains information about the ending of each book in the Shades of Grey trilogy.

It looks like everyone who is thirty and fabulous has read the Shades of Grey trilogy, and I suspect that many a fifty and fabulous woman has already done so. But, for those of you who are still catching up, let me add my voice to the great E.L. James clamor.  The woman can write. She’s not a particularly good stylist–her sentences are flat, even dull, her descriptions of characters tend to involve merely a mentioning of  someone’s eye color.  But when it comes to sex scenes, she’s detailed and graphic, and besides the hot stuff, she’s got a wonderful mystery going, one that keeps the pages flying by. Innocent but spunky Anastasia Steele–her name says it all–is swept off her feet by gorgeous, entrepreneurial Christian Grey, who supports humanitarian causes but has sexual appetites that make Ana uncomfortable. He’s into S&M sex, albeit in a corporate sort of way. In Book One, he proffers Ana a lengthy contract specifying activities that are essential to his pleasure, like spanking, whipping and cuffing, but which allows her to indicate the specific types of canes, whips, and restraints she would like to consider off-limits. This legalistic sexual dominator is a) young – only twenty-six  years old and b) rich – he has his own (vaguely described) cutting-edge technology and shipping company.  The mystery is: what has made this paragon of a man weird in the bedroom (or in the“Playroom” where he keeps his exotic erotic equipment)?

Ana takes him on, and the plot of the tale is one that women have adored for centuries.  Think Lord Rochester in Jane Eyre, Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights, Maxim de Winter in Rebecca – the kind of man who seems haughtily aloof or fiercely moody but who in fact has a heart of gold, the kind of man whose external defenses can be breached and whose tormented soul can be psychologically repaired by a good woman’s love. In Book Two,  Ana rescues Christian from the demons that have pursued him ever since his abusive early childhood, and yes, dear reader, she marries him. In Book Three, despite complications like quarrels over Ana’s career goals and the attempt by a villainous book editor to destroy Christian, the couple lives happily ever after. Still having hot sex, but of a more loving and consensual kind.

The books are sheer fun, and if you haven’t read them, put them on your “To Do” list.  For laters, baby, as Christian would say.

{FOF Book Critic} Not-to-be-missed summer fiction

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We’re still only half way through the publishing year, but, I’m sure I can already tell you two books that will be on every reviewer’s ‘Best Books of 2012’ lists,” says FOF book critic Linda Wolfe, the award-winning author of 10 books and a 12-year veteran of the National Book Critics Circle. “[These books] are [also] sure to be nominees for the prestigious National Book Critics Circle fiction award: Bring Up the Bodies, Hilary Mantel’s glorious sequel to Wolf Hall, and Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk, a stunning first novel by short story writer Ben Fountain.

“In addition, there are other bookish pleasures to be had this summer,” says Linda. “Books that will transport you, whether you’re off to some wondrous vacation destination or stuck sizzlingly at home.”

—————————————————————————————————

BRING UP THE BODIES by Hilary Mantel
Henry Holt. 410 pp.

I remember that when Mantel’s Wolf Hall came out in 2010, I read it very slowly, rationing myself to a score or so of pages a day to prolong the joy the book was giving me. Then, to my surprise, when I got within sixty pages of the end, I did something I hadn’t done since I was a pre-teen.  I went back and read the book all over again, until finally, I finished it.  Not without regrets.  I’d wanted this work of galloping wit and invention never to end.

Like many women I know, I was more than a little in love with Mantel’s brilliant, complicated Thomas Cromwell, Henry VIII’s confidante and chief secretary, a statesman who was a humanitarian and social radical, a master of languages, an admirer of Latin poetry, and an adoring husband and father who could brandish a stiletto, cook up a gingery eel sauce, evaluate the worth of an oriental carpet, and stay loyal to his friends even when the rest of the world shunned them. So too, were a great number of women I knew, one of whom reminisced to me recently, “All day I couldn’t wait for it to be nighttime, so I could get in bed with Cromwell.”

Well, he’s back again, and he’s just as fascinating, albeit a little less loveable, for in Bodies, Mantel gives us the side of Cromwell–masked in the first book–that is capable of suppressing doubts and foregoing moral principles to hold onto power. He is dedicated to his master, the king, wants above all to serve Henry well and for his kingdom to prosper.  “His greatest ambition for England is this,” Mantel tells us. “The prince and his commonwealth should be in accord.  He doesn’t want the kingdom to be run like [his father] Walter’s house in Putney, with fighting all the time and the sound of banging and shrieking day and night. He wants it to be a household where everybody knows what they have to do, and feels safe doing it.” But, Henry has grown tired of his second wife,  Anne Boleyn, with whom he had fallen so passionately in love that in order to divorce his first wife and marry Anne he had torn the kingdom away from Catholicism and started his own religion. Now, when Henry hints to Cromwell that he wishes to be rid of Anne, who has turned out to be not only a nag and a shrew, but has failed to  produced a male heir to the throne, Cromwell thinks of his mentor, Cardinal Wolsey, who was forced from power,  humiliated, and hounded to his death when he didn’t aid Henry to marry Anne. “To his inner ear, the cardinal speaks.  He says, ‘I saw you…scratching your balls in the dawn and wondering at the violence of the king’s whims.  If he wants a new wife, fix him one. I didn’t, and I am dead.’”

Cromwell will fix Henry a new wife, bringing Anne to trial on dubious charges of adultery and, using trumped-up evidence, causing her and a handful of implicated courtiers executed. But his efforts come at  great cost. He has accumulated powerful enemies. But more importantly, he has deadened a part of  himself. “He once thought,” he reflects, “that he might die of grief: for his wife, his daughters, his sisters, his father and master the cardinal. But the pulse, obdurate, keeps its rhythm.  You think you cannot keep breathing, but your rib cage has other ideas, rising and falling, emitting sighs.  You may thrive in spite of yourself; and so that you may do it, God takes out your heart of flesh, and gives you a heart of stone.”

Mantel, I’ve heard, had originally planned her sequel to follow Cromwell to his ultimate fall from power, but was persuaded to tell the story  in three parts–the better to secure more book sales.  I don’t care that Bring Up the Bodies stops short of the denouement.  Now, I’ve got a third book to look forward to as eagerly as I awaited this one.

—————————————————————————————————

BILLY LYNN’S LONG HALFTIME WALK by Ben Fountain.
Ecco.  307 pp.

Billy Lynn, Ben Fountain’s dazzling first novel, is bound for the literary peaks.  It’s the Great American Novel of the twenty-first century so far, the Catch 22 of the Iraq war, the sweet spot where satire and heartbreak, scintillating language, unforgettable characters, and sharp-eyed insight into American life combine to make a book unlike any other you’ve read.  Besides which, you’ll fall in love with Billy.  He’s not Thomas Cromwell, but he’s quite a guy!

Billy’s just nineteen, a soldier in Iraq, who, with the ten members of his small squad, nicknamed Bravo, engaged in a fierce gun battle with insurgents that was taped by a Fox “embed” and broadcast on national TV.  As the heroism of this small band of brothers goes viral through the culture, the Army quickly spots an advantage to bringing Billy and the eight surviving members of Bravo back home for a fourteen-day “Victory Tour.” A film producer latches onto them in the hopes of selling their story to Hollywood, members of the public go wild upon meeting them, pressing their flesh and spouting words like “terrRist, freedom, nina leven, currj, sacrifice,” and the owner of the Dallas Cowboys, a man named here as Norm Oglesby, arranges to have Bravo star–on the last day of their tour–in the stadium’s vaunted halftime spectacle, along with Beyoncé and Destiny’s Child.

A small town Texas boy who’d never left home before the war, Billy has by now, Thanksgiving Day, seen a great deal of America. “It’s the same everywhere Bravo has been,” he observes.  “The airports, the hotels, the arenas and convention centers…retail dominates the land. Somewhere along the way, America became a giant mall with a country attached.” And in Iraq, Billy has seen things he could never have imagined, including the legs of Lake, one of the troop’s members, seeming to walk after the rest of the man has been blown apart from them. “What’s happening now isn’t nearly as real as that,” Billy thinks at the stadium. “The realest things in the world these days are the things in his head….A leg.  Two legs.  Lake’s…As if waking from a long sleep, the legs begin to stir. Tentative at first, they move with a childlike air of sweetly baffled innocence, but eventually they rise, shake themselves off and set off in search of the rest of Lake.”

Billy’s scared about having to return to Iraq.  “The freaking randomness is what wears on you…the difference between life, death, and horrible injury sometimes as slight as stooping to tie your bootlace on the way to chow…turning your head to the left instead of the right.  Random.  How that shit does twist your mind.”  He’s a kid, but his experiences have made him feel older than his age, wiser than his fellow Americans. “They are bold and proud and certain in the way of clever children blessed with too much self-esteem, and no amount of lecturing will enlighten them as to the state of pure sin toward which war inclines. He pities them, scorns them, loves them, hates them. These boys and girls.  These toddlers, these infants.  Americans are children who must go somewhere else to grow up, and sometimes die.”

He’s also desperate to find himself a girlfriend.  The tour has provided him with a goodly dose of sexual experiences but he’s still a virgin, and he’s decided “Blow jobs suck, just by themselves. Well, sometimes they’re all right. Okay, usually they’re awesome as far as they go, but lately he feels the definite need for something more in his life.  It’s not so much that he’s nineteen and still technically a virgin as it is this famished feeling deep in his chest, this liposucked void where his best part should be.  He needs a woman.  No, he needs a girlfriend, he needs someone to mash into body and soul and he’s been waiting for it to happen these entire two weeks.”

Ben Fountain, whose only previous book was the 2006 story collection, Brief Encounters With Che Guevara, has said that he conceived Billy Lynn while watching the halftime show of the Dallas Cowboys game on Thanksgiving Day 2004. “It was such a blithering, surreal, over the top mashup of patriotism and soft-core pornography that, once I actually started to pay attention to it, seemed emblematic of the general insanity of American life.  One of the weirdest things was that everyone – the people in the stands, the TV announcers, the people I was with–didn’t see anything unusual about the show.  It was just America being America. Couldn’t people see that the country was completely running off the rails?  I was coming to the realization that I had no understanding whatsoever of the country where I was born and have spent my entire life.  Billy Lynn is an attempt to gain some measure of understanding, or at least a reasonably accurate portrait of the current version of American psychopathy.”

That’s what Fountain has given us, and what happens to Billy during his hours at the stadium, the girl he finds, the decisions he has to make, and the new kinds of threats he must now fight, make for exciting, hilarious, chilling reading.  This book will explode into your consciousness like an IUD.

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MÉNAGE by Alix Kates Shulman
Other Press.  269 pages

If ever there was a perfect summer read, it’s this wicked romp by Shulman, author of four novels including the feminist classic, Memoirs of an Ex-Prom Queen. Ménage tells the tangled tale of a husband, his wife, and the total stranger the husband, on a whim, invites to live in his and his wife’s luxurious suburban home.  His motives for this odd offer are complex.  The stranger, an East European novelist now down-at-heels, was once the darling of the intellectual community here and abroad, spoken for by Sontag, lionized by the literati.  The husband, Mack, a wealthy architect and collector of all the wondrous things money can buy thinks of the writer, Zoltan Barbu, as another possession, a celebrity whose residence in his home. Particularly, if while staying there, Zoltan completes the long-awaited masterpiece he’s said to have been working on for years, it will add to Mack’s own prestige.  Moreover, his wife, Heather, is a would-be novelist; perhaps having Zoltan living with them will help her with her own writing; certainly it will provide her with the intellectual companionship Mack is too preoccupied with work and the occasional sexual escapade to offer her.

You think Heather might resent this “gift” of a live-in author?  Uh-uh.  She’s totally taken with the man from the moment she sees his “tall slim figure in a black cloak–dramatic, operatic” and especially when  Zoltan, “adept at entrances,” kisses her hand, lightly brushing her knuckles with his lips and faintly teasing her arm “with the glossy lock that had  fallen over his right eye.”

From there on in, you’ll be turning pages, bursting into laughter, scratching your head, absorbed in the antics of this engaging threesome–and how all of them ultimately get exactly what they want from their turbulent time together.  A heady mix of lively dialogue, right-on social observation, and fun-pokes at literary pretension and  suburban life, this novel is full of surprises.

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The SHADES OF GREY Trilogy by E.L. James.  Vintage.
Shades of Grey. 382 pages
Fifty Shades Darker.  395 pages
Fifty Shades Freed.  468 pages

SPOILER ALERT: This review contains information about the ending of each book in the Shades of Grey trilogy.

It looks like everyone who is thirty and fabulous has read the Shades of Grey trilogy, and I suspect that many a fifty and fabulous woman has already done so. But, for those of you who are still catching up, let me add my voice to the great E.L. James clamor.  The woman can write. She’s not a particularly good stylist–her sentences are flat, even dull, her descriptions of characters tend to involve merely a mentioning of  someone’s eye color.  But when it comes to sex scenes, she’s detailed and graphic, and besides the hot stuff, she’s got a wonderful mystery going, one that keeps the pages flying by. Innocent but spunky Anastasia Steele–her name says it all–is swept off her feet by gorgeous, entrepreneurial Christian Grey, who supports humanitarian causes but has sexual appetites that make Ana uncomfortable. He’s into S&M sex, albeit in a corporate sort of way. In Book One, he proffers Ana a lengthy contract specifying activities that are essential to his pleasure, like spanking, whipping and cuffing, but which allows her to indicate the specific types of canes, whips, and restraints she would like to consider off-limits. This legalistic sexual dominator is a) young – only twenty-six  years old and b) rich – he has his own (vaguely described) cutting-edge technology and shipping company.  The mystery is: what has made this paragon of a man weird in the bedroom (or in the“Playroom” where he keeps his exotic erotic equipment)?

Ana takes him on, and the plot of the tale is one that women have adored for centuries.  Think Lord Rochester in Jane Eyre, Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights, Maxim de Winter in Rebecca – the kind of man who seems haughtily aloof or fiercely moody but who in fact has a heart of gold, the kind of man whose external defenses can be breached and whose tormented soul can be psychologically repaired by a good woman’s love. In Book Two,  Ana rescues Christian from the demons that have pursued him ever since his abusive early childhood, and yes, dear reader, she marries him. In Book Three, despite complications like quarrels over Ana’s career goals and the attempt by a villainous book editor to destroy Christian, the couple lives happily ever after. Still having hot sex, but of a more loving and consensual kind.

The books are sheer fun, and if you haven’t read them, put them on your “To Do” list.  For laters, baby, as Christian would say.

{Poll} Bizarre Celeb Beauty Rituals: Would you try them?

*Sigh* the things FOFs do for beauty! And these 5 FOF celebs take it to a whole new level… Read about their bizarre beauty rituals, see what a dermatologist thinks, then vote: Would you try it?

Call it vinotherapy. Actually, that’s what top resorts in Spain, Portugal and France are already calling pricey beauty treatments where wine residue is rubbed into the skin. In The Black Book of Hollywood Beauty Secrets,  Kym Douglas and celebrity journalist Cindy Pearlman write that Teri Hatcher uses sediment from red wine to polish her skin in the tub. “I scoop them up and use them as an exfoliant,” says Teri. “The only bad thing is you can’t drink the whole bottle of wine.” According to the authors, polyphenols found in grapes get blood flowing.

Dr. Krant says: “Scrubbing and massaging get blood flowing on their own, so it’s not clear if she is getting the benefit she expects from the red wine itself. Proanthocyanidins from red grapes have been shown to have real health benefits from their antioxidant properties when ingested, but the anti-aging effect from topical use has much less scientific evidence behind it.”

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

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Milk does a body good…but what about a face?  Cindy Crawford thinks so. The Daily Record reports that the almost-FOF supermodel mixes milk and water and sprays in on her face to keep her skin hydrated. Milk baths have apparently been around for centuries; historical beauties including Cleopatra and Elizabeth I of England indulged in the lactic luxury. Everybody’s mooin..er..doin’ it.

Dr. Krant says: “Milk contains lactic acid which does contain some exfoliative and skin-softening properties. Milk fats also help moisturize and keep skin supple.”

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

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Ever wonder how some celebs get that “baby-faced” complexion? Just ask FOF diva Madonna, who reportedly uses a face cream made with human placenta. The product is called EMK Placental, and according to BeautyUndercover.com, Madonna and a slew of other A-listers are using it. Placenta “helps oxygenate your skin…improve natural cellular renewal and… protects your skin from the assault of environmental stress, UV radiation…and the natural aging process,” according to the EMK Placental product website.

Dr. Krant says: “Placenta contains many growth factors and vitamins. It has been studied for wounds, but there has been little to no scientific proof of its affect on intact, healthy human skin.”

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

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Almost-FOF actress Sandra Bullock has become the butt of tabloid jokes for her bizarre beauty ritual. Glamour UK reports that Sandra uses hemorrhoid cream under her eyes to reduce puffiness. “I didn’t realise that putting hemorrhoid ointment on your face is acceptable in the beauty business,” says Sandra. “But apparently, butt cream helps lines around the eyes!” Sandra says it’s true….so, no butts about it.

Dr. Krant says: Preparation H from the 1950’s did contain an ingredient, Bio-Dyne (R), that helped de-puff, but that ingredient has been removed from the modern version of the cream–in the United States. Bio-Dyne does still come in the Canadian preparation. So it’s not just any hemorrhoid cream that can do the trick. Makes you wonder which one Sandra is using….

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

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Debra Messing doesn’t throw a hissy fit about her eye wrinkles… No, she just uses snake venom to smooth them out. That’s right, this almost-FOF actress uses an eye cream which contains snake’s venom as an active ingredient, according to The Sun, “The venom slows the reponses of the face muscles, creating a wrinkle-free effect.”

Dr. Krant says: “Venom has not been proven to penetrate through healthy, intact skin to the deep layers where the target muscles lie. This product likely has no scientific benefit (in the manner claimed) at all. In order to get the muscle-weakening benefit, the only proven treatment is still injected botulinum toxins (Botox) and Dysport, and a new one coming out soon. Sorry, needle-phobes.”

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

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Talk about a detox. MSNBC reports that actress Demi Moore uses “highly-trained medical leeches” to keep healthy. “It detoxifies your blood,” she told Letterman.  Demi explains that these blood sucking vermin, “have a little enzyme that gets released into your blood… and your health is optimized.” Um, okay… “I feel like I’ve always been someone looking for the cutting edge of things that optimize your health and healing,” she says. Despite Demi’s loyalty to leeches, we predict this beauty trend will be sluggish to catch on…

Dr. Krant says: “Leeches have been used for centuries in medical treatments. Hirudo medicinalis, or medicinal leeches, likely the ‘highly-trained’ species Demi is referring to, are used effectively by surgeons to aid in wound cleaning, reconstructive surgery and other advanced treatments, but currently there is no proof that leech therapy has any anti-aging properties. Do not try this at home since uncontrollable, prolonged bleeding and infection can be undesired side effects.”

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.


Dr. Jessica J. Krant is a dermatologist based in New York and the founder of Art of Dermatology, LLC. She is also Assistant Clinical Professor of dermatology at SUNY Downstate Medical Center in New York City.

Images via Zimbio

{Poll} Bizarre Celeb Beauty Rituals: Would you try them?

*Sigh* the things FOFs do for beauty! And these 5 FOF celebs take it to a whole new level… Read about their bizarre beauty rituals, see what a dermatologist thinks, then vote: Would you try it?

Call it vinotherapy. Actually, that’s what top resorts in Spain, Portugal and France are already calling pricey beauty treatments where wine residue is rubbed into the skin. In The Black Book of Hollywood Beauty Secrets,  Kym Douglas and celebrity journalist Cindy Pearlman write that Teri Hatcher uses sediment from red wine to polish her skin in the tub. “I scoop them up and use them as an exfoliant,” says Teri. “The only bad thing is you can’t drink the whole bottle of wine.” According to the authors, polyphenols found in grapes get blood flowing.

Dr. Krant says: “Scrubbing and massaging get blood flowing on their own, so it’s not clear if she is getting the benefit she expects from the red wine itself. Proanthocyanidins from red grapes have been shown to have real health benefits from their antioxidant properties when ingested, but the anti-aging effect from topical use has much less scientific evidence behind it.”

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

—————————————————————————————————–


Milk does a body good…but what about a face?  Cindy Crawford thinks so. The Daily Record reports that the almost-FOF supermodel mixes milk and water and sprays in on her face to keep her skin hydrated. Milk baths have apparently been around for centuries; historical beauties including Cleopatra and Elizabeth I of England indulged in the lactic luxury. Everybody’s mooin..er..doin’ it.

Dr. Krant says: “Milk contains lactic acid which does contain some exfoliative and skin-softening properties. Milk fats also help moisturize and keep skin supple.”

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

—————————————————————————————————–

Ever wonder how some celebs get that “baby-faced” complexion? Just ask FOF diva Madonna, who reportedly uses a face cream made with human placenta. The product is called EMK Placental, and according to BeautyUndercover.com, Madonna and a slew of other A-listers are using it. Placenta “helps oxygenate your skin…improve natural cellular renewal and… protects your skin from the assault of environmental stress, UV radiation…and the natural aging process,” according to the EMK Placental product website.

Dr. Krant says: “Placenta contains many growth factors and vitamins. It has been studied for wounds, but there has been little to no scientific proof of its affect on intact, healthy human skin.”

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

—————————————————————————————————–


Almost-FOF actress Sandra Bullock has become the butt of tabloid jokes for her bizarre beauty ritual. Glamour UK reports that Sandra uses hemorrhoid cream under her eyes to reduce puffiness. “I didn’t realise that putting hemorrhoid ointment on your face is acceptable in the beauty business,” says Sandra. “But apparently, butt cream helps lines around the eyes!” Sandra says it’s true….so, no butts about it.

Dr. Krant says: Preparation H from the 1950’s did contain an ingredient, Bio-Dyne (R), that helped de-puff, but that ingredient has been removed from the modern version of the cream–in the United States. Bio-Dyne does still come in the Canadian preparation. So it’s not just any hemorrhoid cream that can do the trick. Makes you wonder which one Sandra is using….

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

—————————————————————————————————–


Debra Messing doesn’t throw a hissy fit about her eye wrinkles… No, she just uses snake venom to smooth them out. That’s right, this almost-FOF actress uses an eye cream which contains snake’s venom as an active ingredient, according to The Sun, “The venom slows the reponses of the face muscles, creating a wrinkle-free effect.”

Dr. Krant says: “Venom has not been proven to penetrate through healthy, intact skin to the deep layers where the target muscles lie. This product likely has no scientific benefit (in the manner claimed) at all. In order to get the muscle-weakening benefit, the only proven treatment is still injected botulinum toxins (Botox) and Dysport, and a new one coming out soon. Sorry, needle-phobes.”

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

—————————————————————————————————–

Talk about a detox. MSNBC reports that actress Demi Moore uses “highly-trained medical leeches” to keep healthy. “It detoxifies your blood,” she told Letterman.  Demi explains that these blood sucking vermin, “have a little enzyme that gets released into your blood… and your health is optimized.” Um, okay… “I feel like I’ve always been someone looking for the cutting edge of things that optimize your health and healing,” she says. Despite Demi’s loyalty to leeches, we predict this beauty trend will be sluggish to catch on…

Dr. Krant says: “Leeches have been used for centuries in medical treatments. Hirudo medicinalis, or medicinal leeches, likely the ‘highly-trained’ species Demi is referring to, are used effectively by surgeons to aid in wound cleaning, reconstructive surgery and other advanced treatments, but currently there is no proof that leech therapy has any anti-aging properties. Do not try this at home since uncontrollable, prolonged bleeding and infection can be undesired side effects.”

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.


Dr. Jessica J. Krant is a dermatologist based in New York and the founder of Art of Dermatology, LLC. She is also Assistant Clinical Professor of dermatology at SUNY Downstate Medical Center in New York City.

Images via Zimbio

{Poll} Are these FOF celebs acting spiritual or silly?

Bless their souls for their unwavering devotion… or should we say a prayer for these FOF celebs? Read about their religious practices, then decide, are these stars “acting” spiritual or just plain silly?

PLAYBOY: Sounds like you have all the answers. Where do we go when we die?
Kirstie Alley: We just pick another body. We go to the nearest hospital where women are giving birth, find some good-looking parents and jump in.

-Excerpt from an interview with Playboy on her beliefs rooted in Scientology, 2008.

Scientology may have saved Kirstie Alley’s soul… but has Kirstie sold her soul to them? In 1979, the FOF actress attended a Scientology-supported rehab program which she says saved her from a serious cocaine addiction. “I thought, O.K., this is either the world’s biggest scam or it’s fabulous,” she said in a Time Magazine article. “I stopped working, quit my job, and I drove my car to California to be a Scientologist.” In 2000, Kirstie Alley bought a $1.5 million mansion in Clearwater, FL, Scientology’s spiritual headquarters. In 2007, she gifted $5 million to the Church of Scientology and appeared in this preachy pamphlet in which she gives the religion rave reviews. In addition to saving her from a drug addiction, Kirstie Alley credits Scientology – along with Jenny Craig – for helping her lose weight, says CBS News. “Without Scientology, I’d be dead,” Kirstie Alley said, according to Gawker.

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

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Is Madonna practicing Kabbalah in good faith? On her Re-Invention World Tour in 2004, Madonna rocked a “Kabbalists Do It Better” t-shirt. In 1997 she threw a Kabbalah cocktail party. “Since Madonna first started singing Kabbalah’s praises six years ago — literally, on her 1998 album Ray of Light— she has arguably become the practice’s most prominent advocate,” according to a USA Today article from 2004. She may be the most prominent advocate, but Madonna’s showy acts of spirituality have upset some Rabbis and scholars who say she’s “preaching a practice whose ties to traditional, ancient Kabbalah are tenuous at best and treacherous at worst,” according to the same USA Today article. “Watchdog types say the Kabbalah Center is more about merchandising — ’empowered’ stones, soul-cleansing water, those $26 strings — than enlightenment.” According to a BBC article, Madonna defended her practice of Kabbalah, saying, “it would be less controversial if I joined the Nazi Party,” and it’s “not hurting anybody.”

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

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There’s a real, live witch hunt going on in Hollywood, with FOF singer-songwriter Stevie Nicks in question for her involvement in Wicca. Known for her mystical fashion  — billowing chiffon skirts, shawls and layers of lace — it’s no mystery where the rumors of witchcraft surfaced. “Some rather credulous people believe her lyrics in songs such as Rhiannon, Gold Dust Woman and even the recent Sorcerer reference a demi-monde of white magic and wiccan ritual,” writes Guy Blackman in a 2006 article for The Age. Furthermore, her music is copyrighted under the name Welsh Witch Music. When confronted about the rumors Stevie says it’s all a bunch of hocus-pocus. “I have no idea what precipitated those rumors… I am not a witch. Get a life!” she said in a Yahoo chat in 1998. “I spent thousands of dollars on beautiful black clothes and had to stop wearing them for a long time because a lot of people scared me. And that’s really unfair to me, I think, for people – other people – to conjure up their ideas of what I am or what I believe in,” Nicks said in a 1983 Entertainment Tonight interview.

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

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Academy Award winning English actress and FOF Judi Dench was first attracted to the Quaker faith because she loved the school uniforms, according to an article on the Hampshire Quakers website. But, her devotion to the religion has become much more than a fashion statement.  Raised Methodist, she converted to Quakerism after attending The Mount School, a Quaker public secondary school in York, England. “It’s essential to my life and work,” she said of her faith to a reporter for The Guardian. But it seems, she still has a sense of humor about her faith. “When we were doing Arbuzov’s The Promise,” she recalls, “I said to Ian McKellen we should keep three seats empty and imagine we were playing to God the Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Ian rather wittily said, ‘Surely we’ll only need one seat rather than three?'”

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

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A hot debate has surfaced over FOF actress Trudie Styler and rock star hubby, Sting’s sex life. The couple have long been rumored to practice tantric sex “in which they use yoga to achieve prolonged states of ecstasy,” according to a New York Post article. “Sadomasochism is the new Tantra,” Trudie once said according to a Huffington Post article. Tantra is “Hindu or Buddhist scriptures dealing especially with techniques and rituals including meditative and sexual practices,” according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary. Still, Hindu leaders are not amused by the couple’s loose interpretation of tantra as a sex practice. “Hindus welcomed Hollywood and other celebrities to immerse in Hinduism, but taking it seriously and not just flirting with its terminology and concepts and using it as a fashion statement,” Rajan Zed, president of Universal Society of Hinduism said according to TheIndian.com.

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

Images via Zimbio: Kirstie Alley, Madonna, Stevie Nicks, Judi Dench, Trudie Styler

from →  

February 21, 1919 – March 28, 1988

My father Sam died twenty-three years ago today. He was 69 and had been diagnosed with melanoma seven months before. Once melanoma metastasizes, the average life span is around six months.  I read the other day about a new melanoma drug that will prolong melanoma patients’ lives up to 10 months.  Not good enough.

Daddy and Geri

 

Melanoma can be cured, if it is caught early enough. Although genetics increase the likelihood of getting the disease, doctors believe prolonged exposure to the sun is the most likely cause.  My dad was an avid tennis player.  He played for hours outdoors every weekend, from May to September, with the sun beating down on the courts. We have no idea if that was the cause because back then no one knew much about this type of cancer.

If you’re anything like I was in my teens and twenties, getting a tan was high on my list of priorities. I slathered a mixture of baby oil and iodine on my skin before I went to the beach, then I stayed out in the sun for hours. “One or more severe, blistering sunburns as a child or teenager can increase your risk of melanoma as an adult,” according to the Mayo Clinic website.  Other risk factors include:

  • Fair skin: Having less pigment (melanin) in your skin means you have less protection from damaging UV radiation. If you have blond or red hair, light-colored eyes, and you freckle or sunburn with ease, you are more likely to develop melanoma than is someone with a darker complexion. But melanoma can develop in people with darker complexions, including Hispanics and blacks.

  • Living closer to the equator or at a higher elevation: People living closer to the earth’s equator, where the sun’s rays are more direct, experience higher amounts of UV radiation, as compared with those living in higher latitudes. If you live at a high elevation, you’re also exposed to more UV radiation.

  • Having many moles or unusual moles: Having more than 50 ordinary moles on your body indicates an increased risk of melanoma. Also, having an unusual type of mole increases the risk of melanoma. Known medically as dysplastic nevi, these tend to be larger (greater than 1/5 inch or 5 millimeters) than normal moles and have irregular borders and a mixture of colors.

  • A weakened immune system: People with weakened immune systems have an increased risk of skin cancer. This includes people who have HIV/AIDS and those who have undergone organ transplants.

I urge all of my FOF friends to have a full body check by a top dermatologist once a year, weather or not you think you’re at a higher risk of developing melanoma. It takes about two minutes.  Make sure the doctor you choose uses a special magnifying glass to scan your body and that he checks your head, too.

It’s a simple way to avoid a deadly disease.

Miss you, daddy!