When I performed oral sex on my man last night there was a, I’ll call it, stale order which I had never smelled before. I think it had been several hours since showering. I am too embarrassed to bring the subject up. How can I approach him in a loving way about this?

0 Answers

  1. evelyn resh wrote on :

    Being sensitive to our partners goes both ways. In other words, he needs to be sensitive to you about this as much as you are expressing sensitivity towards him. That said, I feel like actually being forthcoming with the truth is best and saying it in such a way that it’s real but not offensive is your best bet. For example: I love to go-down on you. But last time, you hadn’t showered for hours before hand and it was noticeable. So, let’s keep this in mind so both of us can experience ourselves fully.” Good for you for being sensitive – and all the better than he is too.

  2. CandidaRoyalle wrote on :

    I would agree with Dr. Ginger here. The obvious thing would be to suggest an erotic bath as part of your foreplay, or even just a shower together where you get to soap each other up. (Yes, you may end up sacrificing your hair and make-up, but just think of the benefits!) Then if he continues to have an unpleasant odor the next time you go down on him, you could even use this experience to initiate the talk…like, “you smelled so delicious after that bath (or shower) we took together it made me want to orally please you”. Hopefully he’ll catch your drift! And if not, then really there is nothing else to do but be honest and more direct. And as Dr. Ginger suggested, begin with a positive, like, “I really enjoy orally pleasing you, but I prefer to do it after you’ve bathed.” He shouldn’t need any more explaining than that, really. Who wouldn’t prefer to be intimate with someone when they’re fresh and clean?

  3. DrGinger wrote on :

    Hi, CAnative….
    This is a great question. There are many ways to handle this problem in a way that is loving and even playful. I would suggest that maybe showering before sexual encounters could be a great form of foreplay, if that is something you would consider. If not, maybe a little nibble on the neck and then whisper something like “why don’t you jump in the shower and I’ll light a few candles…” As far as bringing the subject up, talk about it from a positive perspective instead of a negative slant. For instance, you might say, “My favorite time to give you oral sex is right after you get out of the shower…you taste and smell scrumptious!” That way, you are telling him what you do like, instead of what you don’t like. So glad you are working on sex and communication!!

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