i dont feel warm and fuzzy about HIS grandkids..

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4 Answers

  1. Cheryl Wilson wrote on :

    There is history involved here that you are not a part of. You weren’t around when his children were growing up, so accepting their children – his grandchildren – is a problem. You cannot possibly be expected to feel any emotion toward these grandchildren, particularly in view of the fact that their upbringing is something you cannot agree with. “Love me, love my grandchildren” is an impossible request. I was in a similar situation but it was “love me, love my child” and the child was five and a handful. I couldn’t handle it and we were divorced seven months later. Not all of us are cut out to deal with other people’s children or grandchildren. You have to be honest about it and see things as they are and not how you wish them to be. Love does NOT conquer all! Either remove yourself when the grandkids are around, and that includes overnight visits, or remove yourself from your relationship. It is past the time for you to look in your mirror and have an honest conversation with yourself about this. You are a very attractive FOF and you are putting your own needs and wants about your partner’s. This will be a problem for as long as you remain in this relationship and it will erode the feelings you have for one another. This isn’t a small thing, it’s HUGE. Please know you are not a bad person for not feeling anything toward his children or grandchildren. Just be smart and be honest about it to yourself. Your health is affected by these feelings of resentment. This will not change. Life isn’t fair, is it?

    • lisa thurman wrote on :

      thank you so much!! I keep reading your comments over and over.

    • Cheryl Wilson wrote on :

      I should have also said that it was grossly unfair for the child’s sake for me to have remained in that relationship. All children deserve to be loved and cared for. When we cannot do that job properly, it is best if we exit their lives. Children have an uncanny ability to feel what we are not saying. Those were seven months of that child’s life that I actually stole because I was so in love with his father. It wasn’t right and I lied to myself when I thought I could be accepting of a child that wasn’t mine. Now that I’m much older and wiser, I know that.

    • lisa thurman wrote on :

      Your absolutely correct! thank you!

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