Meet Gerri Shute

Location: Chicago, IL
Age: Over 60
Marital Status: Single
Education: Bachelor’s Degree in English, Master’s Degree in Library and Information Science

Gerri Shute enjoyed a wonderful career in the world of executive search. She was named Vice President of Research for a leading international search firm, a title rarely given in a research function. When asked about her passion project, Gerri says, “My family. Their health, their happiness, their well being. As one relative said, there’s not a dud among them.” And when talking about her fantastic husband whom she recently lost to Parkinson’s she says, “I had the great love of my life. How lucky can a girl get?”

Tell me about your career.

I started out in education and then moved to advertising. I was recruited by Russell Reynolds Associates from the Chicago Tribune. I created their research function.  I was there for 13 years. It was a very fast-paced, demanding environment. Most of us who were there in the early days, now say that having been there, we can do anything short of brain surgery.

What’s the single most important thing you learned in your career?

There is no room for anything but giving the client excellent service. That’s all.

Why’d you leave Russell Reynolds?

I got married to the man of my dreams and wanted to be more available, so I worked from a home office for 13 years.

How did you meet the love of your life?

After I left an 11-year relationship I said, “Now I’m going to get married.” I told all my friends, “You know single men, so don’t forget me.” My friend Curt introduced us.

On our first date David took me to the best restaurant in town. We hit it off from the beginning.

Why was marriage important to you at that point?

Finally, I wanted to build a home. I wanted a kind of sharing that you just don’t have when you’re not married.

There was a bench outside near the garage in the Sears Tower where he parked his car, across the street from my office. We’d always meet there on Fridays and go off to a movie and dinner and then spend the weekend together.

One Sunday night I had decided I had to move on, I said, “That’s it then, because I’m planning to be married…”

You wanted to get out because you didn’t think he’d marry you?

Yes. I thought, I’ll just start over again. That Friday I got a dozen red roses and the card said, “Meet me at the bench.” And I thought. “Well, as ever a gentleman, this is the kiss-off dinner. This will be a nice way to end it.” We went to the International Club and he made a formal proposal.

Oh Gosh!

We both wept. He said, “I cried all week long thinking of what my life would be without you.” He was at the height of his career, as was I at the time. We traveled, we entertained, we did everything! It could not have been a better 20 years.

Then he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s. The last three years or so of his life were very trying for him. He retained his brilliance and his sense of humor. He never once complained. It was a love affair to the end.

What did he do?

He was General Counsel for Sears, Roebuck and Company.

You miss him.

Yes. Terribly. After one year, something actually does happen though. Someone said, “You don’t get over it, you get used to it.” I miss loving somebody and being loved.

What kind of literature do you love?

Virginia Woolf is a favorite author, and then Edith Wharton is the other woman whom I am crazy about because she came from a wealthy family, but she did her own thing. She wrote constantly and made a great deal of money In House of Mirth, Edith wrote about class; how people of a certain class are snobby for no good reason. I also love anything by Henry James.

How do you define your style?

I like to buy classic clothes that I can wear over and over. I am known for not having a lot of clothes.  C.Z. Guest said, “You can only wear so many clothes.” I think that is right on.

Why do you love Maria Pinto’s clothes?

Maria is an artist. She knows how to cut for a woman’s figure. I love that everything is tailored for you. She has sportswear, daywear, cocktail dresses and her wonderful gowns… she’s selling cashmere sweaters and jewelry now. It’s one-stop shopping. I trust her and her staff—they would never sell me something that isn’t right for me.

What other designers do you wear?

I used to wear Ungaro and Valentino. I could put their clothes on and walk out the door without any adjustment. They know how to cut to fit me. I like Armani and Yves St. Laurent, but Maria is my first choice.

Who influenced your style?

My parents both loved clothes. They went dancing every Saturday night. I thought my mother was so beautiful that when I was a little girl I was certain she was a movie star. Red nails, red lipstick, very high heels… My father always bought my two sisters and me clothes for Christmas. Our best outfits were always the ones Daddy bought.

What’s your favorite restaurant in Chicago?

For casual dining I like Cafe Spiaggia. For fancier I like No Mi. I love the room. You can look out and see a wonderful view of the city and the lake. Everything is beautifully presented.

What’s your favorite secret place in Chicago?

If I’m doing errands and it’s before 2:00 PM, I slip into Spiaggia by myself and have the tuna tartar. It’s like playing hooky. In a contemplative mood, I visit the sweet, cloistered garden at Fourth Presbyterian Church.

Whose art do you like?

I love my Matisse print of a ballerina.  I collect figurative prints mostly by well-known artists I admire. Each has an unfinished look about it. I like Francine Turk. Her stuff showed up first in the movie “The Breakup”. I saw something of hers and I loved it, so I called her. She came with a basket full of drawings. I was looking at one piece and, after walking around my house, she said, “This piece does not work in your house. But this one does and this one does.” So I bought them both.

Do you have a favorite perfume?

Opium by Yves St. Laurent. I can’t live without it.

Tell me your favorite wine.

I like Santa Margherita and Prosecco Brut sparkling wine.

What about your facial routine, cleansing?

I wash my face with Dove soap. L’Oreal moisturizer, Neutrogena sun block. I wear Bobbi Brown lipstick and Estee Lauder blush and foundation.

What do you do to rejuvenate?

I take a nap.

What is your biggest indulgence?

Bernardaud, the fine china shop, sells tins of almonds and hazelnuts dusted with bittersweet chocolate. I buy a dozen cans at a time. I put them in a far corner so that I don’t eat too many.

What about a passion project?

My family. We really work together, nurture one another, look after one another, especially when my husband was dying—they adored David. I could never even tell you all they did for me and for him. I am a devoted sister and adoring auntie. I am fortunate to have a core group of loyal friends who are like family and who truly support one another. I have a new project in mind that I am not yet ready to reveal.

How do you define style?

To me style includes your life choices, your surroundings, the way you entertain. It includes your interests, the kinds of friendships you develop. I believe you must treat everyone with dignity and respect. Your choices of how you live and travel, find intellectual stimulation, all of those choices make up your style.

Has your style changed over the years?

An old friend, once said, “When you’re young, you can wear anything and look good and as you get older you need to buy more expensive clothes to achieve the same end.” And I think he’s right.

What important thing you have learned about money?

Never count on anyone to support you financially after you have graduated from college. It gives you power. I have always been financially independent. I think few people know that about me.

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She Dares Go Where Others Fear To Tread

Some of us have happily lived the same way decade after decade. Same house. Same job. Same spouse. Same style. Same routines.

Others have been forced to change the way we live, out of necessity. Maybe our finances or health precipitated the change. A third type of woman, however, welcomes change, like beautiful and charming Gerri Shute. A Chicago resident for over 35 years, Gerri has put her spacious and gorgeous co-op apartment on the market, and is moving, lock, stock and barrel, to New York City, where she’s rented a one-bedroom apartment facing the city’s glorious Central Park. That would be a big move for a 35 year old, but it’s only natural for FOF Gerri, who calls New York her “spiritual home.”

I invited Gerri to dinner on her recent trip East, when she began to stock her new place with cleaning supplies and kitchen equipment.  We talked about where she’s lived since college, and why she’s making a big move at this stage of her life. (more…)

A Beautiful Chicago Evening

Put one plastic surgeon, one fashion designer, two hair gurus and an elegant-FOF-who-knows-how-to-entertain together in one room and what do you get? Answer: A party worth attending. Which is just what more than 40 women did recently, at the magnificent Chicago Gold Coast home of Gerri Shute.

Dr. Gus Galante, ASPS board certified plastic surgeon, discussed why someone considers plastic surgery and who is a good candidate, then gave a live Botox demonstration and chose the lucky raffle winners for a box of Latisse and a $50 gift certificate to Ralph Lauren Restaurant. Fashion designer Maria Pinto unveiled her spectacular new M2057 collection. And beauty gurus, Elline Surianello and Nic Andrews, shared some of their valuable hair secrets with the rapt guests.

In true Gerri Shute style, the buffet, drinks and service were delicious and impeccable. Thank you, Fab Friend Gerri, for everything you did, and Dr. Galante, for sponsoring the wonderful evening.

(more…)

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{Dating} What advice would you give your 25-year-old self about love?

If we only knew what we know, now! FOFs, if you could go back and give your 25-year-old self some dating advice, what would it be? Read some wise words about love from other FOFs, and tell us your own advice in the comments below. We’re putting together our favorite advice for a special Valentine’s Day eBook!

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Staness Jonekos is author of the bestselling book, The Menopause Makeover (2010). At 47, Staness got engaged for the first time to the love of her life–her very own “Mr. Right,” as she calls him. You can read her personal story here.

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“I wish someone had told me when I was 25 that:

1. Dating is an interview process, and YOU are doing the interviewing. Qualify your candidates.

2. Men love a mission – be his mission!

3. A man can never read your mind – tell him what you want, don’t tell him how to ‘be.’

4. If you want to be pursued, don’t pursue.

5. Never lose yourself in a relationship, always place your needs first. The right man will want that for you because when you are happy, he is happy.

6. Don’t marry a rich man. Marry a good man. He will spend his life trying to keep you happy. No rich man can buy that! (Of course, if he is rich AND good-–jackpot!)”

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Sherry DeRosa is a life skills coach. Sherry met her current husband Michael in her 50s, and soon after, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Michael supported Sherry while she fought the disease. The two married in 2009 on an ocean terrace in Laguna Beach. Read the entire story here.

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Trust life, love and remain true to oneself. The latter is the hardest thing to learn. At 25, we want to rush everything, get everything done and set for the ‘future.’ Instead, live in the present.”

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Candida Royalle is an erotic film pioneer, entrepreneur, and author of How to Tell a Naked Man What to Do. Candida is divorced, but a few years ago, she fell in love and experienced “the most fulfilling sex of my adult life…in my fifties!” she says. She was engaged but broke it off. “I felt we were incompatible in other ways. But, I think it shows that one is never too old to have a fulfilling, intimate life. And, I’m sure there’s another great love affair in me.”

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1. “Be clear about what you’re looking for. Are you interested in finding a man who’s marriage material? Or are you just looking for someone to have fun with? When I was younger, I’d often fall in love with men but then later decide they weren’t appropriate for building a life together. My lack of personal clarity and planning in relationships ultimately led to disappointment and heartbreak for one or both of us. My girlfriends who knew what they wanted, tended to have achieved their desired outcomes with love.

2. Nobody is perfect, we all have flaws. If you focus on what drives you crazy about someone, you will drive yourself right out of the relationship. If you focus on what you like, you have a much better shot at finding deep, lasting and intimate love.

3. Do NOT move in with someone within the first year, and do NOT become engaged or get married before you’ve spent at least 2 years together! The first two years are pretty much a masquerade, where you each put your best face forward while also seeing only the best in one another. Wait for the dust to settle, and find out who you’re really hanging out with before giving up that great apartment with reasonable rent and before putting the down payment on an expensive wedding hall!

4. If you want to know what kind of lover he is, watch the way he eats. Does he take his time eating, savoring each bite and enjoying the flavor and texture of his food? This is probably a man who takes his time making love and enjoys more sensual, caressing lovemaking. If you’re a woman who likes to cut to the chase, past all the touching and cuddling and go right to the end goal, then the guy with a ravenous appetite who plows through his food is the one for you!

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Pamela Madsen is a leading sex expert, founder of the American Fertility Association and author of SHAMELESS: How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure and Somehow Got Home In Time To Cook Dinner which is #1 on Amazon’s “Hot New Releases in Sexual Therapy.” She and her husband recently celebrated their 30-year anniversary. Read more about Pamela here.

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“I would tell my 25-year-old self that I was truly beautiful–and that any man would be lucky to get me! I remember not believing in my own beauty at that age. I thought everything was a little bit wrong–my weight, my hair, etc. I’d also tell myself to give the guy a chance! So many young women have this checklist of what the perfect guy should look like, act like, etc. Cut them a break and get to know them. Last, sex is good–but precious. Truly think about who you share yourself with.”

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Francesca Kranzberg, is one of FabOverFifty’s marvelous makeover winners. She works for JConnect in Maryland, helping newcomers get acquainted with the community. She met her husband at the age of 27, through a Jewish matchmaking service.

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“I’d give myself the same advice I give my 25-year-old daughter:

1. Don’t rush into anything

2. Don’t become exclusive until you are sure you have found someone you want to be with. Dating around helps you to learn what traits are important in a mate–and also, what you can live without.

3. Guys love the chase. Don’t be too available or they will lose interest. If a guy calls you on Thursday or Friday for a Saturday night, tell him you already have plans, or even a date.

4. Once you are sure you have found ‘the one,’ let him know it. But, also let him know that you will walk away if he can’t commit by a certain date.  In other words, give him an ultimatum. If he can’t commit, then you aren’t walking away from much.

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Gerri Shute enjoyed a wonderful career in the world of executive recruiting as Vice President of Research for a leading international firm. After she left an 11-year relationship in her late 40s, Gerri met David, the love of her life who she ultimately married. “It was a love affair to the end,” Gerri says. David died of Parkinson’s in 2008.

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“Don’t settle. If after the first date or second date, it doesn’t feel right, stop there. Don’t get into something where you’ll ultimately get hurt or not have the opportunity to open your heart completely. I remember in my 20s I went to a guy’s garden apartment for a drink. It was our first date. Well, the apartment was a total man cave and he gave me a dusty wine glass. I couldn’t wait to get out of there. Your first instincts are best. On my first date with David, we were both very relaxed–we never stopped talking and never had an awkward moment. When we got married, my wedding dressmaker said to me ‘Gerri, you didn’t settle.” She was right! David was the love of my life.”

She is beautiful!

Question:        What does my dear FOF friend, Gerri Shute, have in common with singer Jennifer Hudson and Blackhawks left wing (whatever that means) Patrick Sharp, besides the fact they’re all from Chicago?

Answer:            They are three of the 50 Most Beautiful Chicagoans of 2012, according to Chicago Magazine.

Two beautiful Chicagoans: Dr. Rohini Dey, left, who owns Vermilion Restaurant, and FOF Gerri.

No doubt about it.  Gerry is beautiful, inside and out.  She was one of the first FOFs I interviewed before we launched faboverfifty.com and we hit it off instantly.  She is generous of spirit (she invited me to dinner with a group of her closest friends when they came to New York—and I hadn’t met her in person yet!) She is cultured (she comes into New York and goes to six plays and four museums in a matter of days). She has impeccable taste (just look at her).  She loves her family (when she talks about them, you see it in her eyes). She’s comfortable with anyone (I invited her to dinner with two good friends and they adored her). She is funny (listen to her talk about dating.) And she’s sexy, smart and sassy.  So there you have it.

Meet Gerri.

PS  Look at the other “Beautiful Chicagoans.”  FOFs aren’t very well represented, are they?

 

 

 

 

 

 

{Art} A little-known NYC art gallery… you should know about!

There’s a time for the Louvre in Paris or The Met in New York… But, we really revel in discovering an offbeat and off-the-beaten path art collection that most don’t know exist. Take for example, the Neue Galerie. We had no idea about this hidden gem of a gallery until FOF Founder Gerri Shute tipped us off…

“I love the Neue Gallery. They show German and Austrian abstract expressionist art. It is a gem of a museum in every way and the shows are incredible. Many of my FOF friends in NYC don’t even know about it. There’s a great Austrian coffee shop with traditional pastries and some nights they have cabaret singers. But the art is what I love.”FOF Gerri Shute

The Neue Gallery
1048 Fifth Avenue
New York, NY 10028
212.628.6200

What’s your favorite little-known art gallery or museum? Comment below.


{Dating} 3 Late-in-Life Love Stories

Sometimes love really is better late than never. 3 FOFs share their heart-warming love stories.
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FOF Gerri Shute found love in her late 40s

“After I left an 11-year relationship, my friend Curt introduced David and me. We hit it off from the beginning.

I wanted to be married though [and didn’t think he’d marry me.] When I told him this, I thought he was going to end it. Instead, a week later he took me to the International Club and made a formal proposal.  We both wept.  He said, ‘I cried all week long thinking of what my life would be without you.’

We traveled, we entertained, we did everything. It could not have been a better 20 years. My friends said we used to look at each other in a way that said, ‘Boy, I sure won the prize.’

Then he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s.  The last three years or so of his life were very trying for him. He never once complained. I felt privileged that I was the one taking care of him when he got sick. It was a love affair to the end.”

FOF Sherry DeRosa found love in her 50s

“I met Michael at a Super Bowl Party in 2001. He was explaining how hard it had been to get health insurance for his assistant. I said, ‘So you arranged health care for him? I don’t mean to be rude, but that had to cost a fair amount of money.’ And Michael said, ‘Yeah, but it’s the right thing to do.’ I remember thinking, ‘there’s a person who puts his money where his mouth is.’

When I got cancer, I remember him saying, ‘We have breast cancer and we are going to fix it.’ And I said, ‘If you’ll still have me and we get through this, will you marry me?’ And so on April 25, 2009 we got married on an ocean terrace in Laguna Beach surrounded by all the people we love.”

FOF Mary Nedvins found love at 51

“I met Skip on Match.com in 2005. After two or three dates, I realized that I was head over heels. All I talked about morning, noon and night was Skip, Skip, Skip. He was handsome, he was smart and he was well made.

Then he went away for almost seven months. He called me once and said only, ‘I have to go away, I can’t tell you where I am. I can’t tell you what I’m doing.’

I was heartbroken. I just didn’t understand why God put somebody in my life and all of a sudden he was gone. I was still on Match.com dating my ass off, literally trying to forget him. I remember one sweet fellow said to me, ‘Is there somebody else in your life? No matter what I do I just can’t seem to get to you, you’re in there but you’re not there.’

One day I was in T.J.Maxx, my phone rang and the caller ID said ‘Skip.’ Someone came up to me and said ‘Do you need a chair, you look like you’re gonna pass out.’ I was going to pass out. I could not believe it was him.

I answered the phone and told him, ‘I’m upset, you just left and I feel like you dumped me.’ He explained that his top-secret government job had kept him from telling me the whole story. ‘Well you know there wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think about you, and I had your picture with me all the time,’ he said. We haven’t been apart since.”

Do you have a late-in-life love story? Share it with us, below.

Giving thanks

Happy Thanksgiving
Happy Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Eve is one of my favorite days of the year. Everyone seems to be bustling around New York City a little happier and more chill than yesterday. It makes me smile thinking about my funsy–if slightly frenetic–family all together tomorrow. It’s wonderful that my sister invites my former husband to join us. This way, our two children don’t need to stress about dividing their attention. I wish the air was going to be a little nippier, but you can’t have everything.

This will be the first Thanksgiving without our mother May. That’s sad. But maybe she’s making my father their first turkey dinner together in 21 years. That would be nice.

I am thankful for all the new Fab Over Fifty women I’ve met this year as I’ve embarked on creating faboverfifty.com, a life-changing project. Let’s see, there’s always-moving, oh-so-smart and beautiful Mica Mosbacher, an angel;  Gerri Shute, oozing with warmth, sparkle, grace, energy and humor ; no-nonsense, passionate, ultra-creative Joan Shepp; one-of-a-kind Meryl Metz: lovely and talented Paulette Martsolf, whose spirit never sags, and Leslee Shupe Korff, who immediately saw the great things she and FOF could do together. (I’ve provided links to the fab shops that four of these FOF women either own or manage).

You’ll meet all of them and a world of other FOF women when we launch this incredible site in a couple of months.

My wishes for a bountiful, bright and and blessed Thanksgiving to every FOF woman, her friends and family across the country.

This is the way we look!

Exquisite Gerri Shute, one of the Fab Over Fifty women from Chicago, dressed in an exquisite ensemble by Maria Pinto.  She will not be appearing in an upcoming issue of AARP's magazine.  ,
Exquisite Gerri Shute, one of the faboverfifty.com women from Chicago, dressed in an exquisite ensemble by Maria Pinto. She will not be appearing in an upcoming issue of AARP's magazine.

It’s a pity that the somewhat interesting articles in the AARP magazine are sitting next to some of the most depressing advertising created on or off Madison Avenue. Let’s see, there’s a harvest gold and blue ad that screams: “You are eligible for quality life insurance—GUARANTEED!” The ad for Keebler Club Crackers may have been designed during the Great Depression. And The North American Menopause Society put together a real stunner telling me www.menopause.org has the facts. I also couldn’t be cold enough to wear “The Ultimate Parka” touted for $29.99.

What’s more, the photos and illustrations accompanying the articles are as dreary as the ads, featuring people who looked like they were frozen in 1962.

It’s bad enough that AARP invites us to become members at 50. Does its magazine have to insult us further by associating age with awful taste, bad eyesight and misguided messages? Have these people looked around at the class and intelligence of our generation? “AARP is a nonprofit, nonpartisan membership organization that helps people 50 and over improve the quality of their lives as they age,” it says on one of its websites. “As the nation’s largest membership organization for people 50+, AARP is leading a revolution in the way people view life after 50.”

If the AARP is helping me view and improve the quality of my life through this magazine, I am in deep trouble. I am not impressed that it is the “world’s largest circulation magazine.” If it has such a powerful platform, it should use it more wisely.

Please let me know what the AARP has done for you lately.

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Goodbye, My Friend

I wonder why I haven’t heard from Gerri, I thought the other evening. I last saw my friend about a year ago, when she came East from Chicago to start setting up her new apartment on Central Park South. She’d had a long-time dream to move to New York, and finally started the process, even though she hadn’t yet sold her place in Chicago. She couldn’t wait.

It wasn’t unusual for months to pass without Gerri and I communicating, but both of us had let entirely too much time to fly by, without so much as an email, so I popped out of bed and emailed her. “Hi Gerri,

How are you? Where are you? Thinking of you. Love, Geri”

Then, something told me to Google Gerri’s name, and this is what I read on the 5th entry down:

How The Death Of My Dear Friend Brought Clarity To My Life – Be Yourself

Nov 26, 2017 – One of my cherished friends, Gerri, died in her sleep last month and though I am deeply saddened, I am grateful for the wake up call. It reaffirmed my commitment to live a full, authentic life and reminded me that she was doing just that. After the death of her husband, David, Gerri sublet an apartment in New… (more…)