Last month, we gave 12 FOF couples or singles the chance to win one of Sinclair Institute’s outstanding sex education videos. Sinclair has been helping people rev up their sex lives since 1991 and  is the leading source of sexual health products and videos in the United States.  Its Better Sex Video Series® has sold over four million videos in over 30 countries. Featuring real couples in loving and committed relationships, the videos explain and show us the stuff that turns them–and will turn you–ON!

We asked contest entrants which video they would most like to win. Then, we interviewed the winners–asking them to “bare all” about their sex lives. After they receive and watch the video of their choice, we will follow up and publish the interview here on the SEXcellent blog.

Below, is our fifth installment–an interview with FOF Nancy D.* (name has been changed to protect her privacy.)

“Great Sex for a Lifetime” would be a start and a relationship saver. We need to rekindle the romance and the sex drive. –Nancy D.

Are you married?
No, but I am with someone. We’ve been together for 10 years and we live together. We’ve known each other for 40 years.

How did you meet 40 years ago?
Through mutual friends. I think it was my roommate’s sister and brother-in-law who introduced us.

How old are the two of you?
I’m 60 and he’ll turn 62 soon. I have to say I don’t look my age. I don’t wear glasses, I have all my teeth and I don’t have grey hair.

Do you have children?
We both have grown children from previous marriages. I have a son who is 39 and he has two boys who are in their 30’s.

What kind of work do you do?
I work in education.

Does your partner work?
He’s an engineer, but is now semi-retired because of health issues.

How do you enjoy your spare time together?
We go to car cruises.* One year for Christmas he bought me a 1974 VW Super Beetle. We also have a pool and we enjoy having our grand kids over. We also adopted two dogs. They’re rescues.

* For any of you who don’t have the foggiest idea what a car cruise is, here’s the lowdown: “A meeting of car enthusiasts, at a predetermined location, organized predominantly through the Internet.”

You said you want to rekindle the romance. What happened to it?
We kind of lost the romance. He used to give me gifts. He use to woo me. Everything is very familiar now, we’re past the discovery stage.

Do you ever have spontaneous nights out or any romantic evenings?
No, he has gotten to be a real homebody. An old stick in the mud. It’s boring. He’d rather stay home and watch Fox TV or tend to his garden. I prefer going out to movies, plays, and flea markets.

Have you tried to get him interested in a romantic night or an evening out?
I haven’t in awhile. I don’t push it anymore. I just leaves things as they are.

What did you do this past Valentine’s day?
He made me a card and made dinner.

How often do you have sex?
We haven’t had sex in almost three to four years. He had a seizure four years ago, while at the drugstore, and since then he lives in fear of having another one.

Did he see a doctor?
He didn’t mention the sex to the doctor. He’s very private and he doesn’t want to say anything.

Did he ever try Viagra?
He took Viagra and it gave him a headache, so he didn’t take anymore. He was totally incapacitated. He thought he was going to have a stroke. He does have high blood pressure. A side effect to the blood pressure medication is E D. He was recently given a lower dosage, but it didn’t change the situation. I think the problem is more mental than physical.

Have you talked about it? Did you tell him how you feel?
Yes, we talked about it. He says we’re old and I told him that I’m not dead yet.

Does he want to have sex?
He says yes, but I think he’s afraid of failure.

Has he ever explained his fear of failure to you?
No, he hasn’t. I’ve known him for so long, it’s just something I sense.

What kind of guy is he?
I couldn’t ask for a better guy. He helps around the house, makes dinner.

Have you tried oral sex?
No, I think he has given up. He used to be the most open person, but now he’s closed in.

Do you use a vibrator?
I bought one and it was huge. It wasn’t going to work in a bag in the underwear drawer. I actually bought him a penis pump, but he threw it away. He tried it, but said it was painful.

What was your sex life like before he had the health issues?
It was great, great sex. Spontaneous and fun. Sometimes we had sex several times a night. It was great.

You went from having sex every day to nothing?
There was some after the seizure, but it was sporadic and then it dwindled off to nothing.

Does he ever try to stimulate you with his hands?
He used to, but not anymore. I lost track, but it’s probably been about three years since he tried to stimulate me. I never asked him to help me have an orgasm.

How did this make you feel?
I was very resentful. I thought maybe there was someone else.

Do you think he had an affair?
No, I don’t. There’s no way.

Did you ever think of having an affair?
No, I don’t want to plus it would crush him. I don’t want to be with anyone else.

Do you ever try to turn him on?
Not recently, no. It has been a while. After the seizure I would, but then he just wasn’t interested.

How often do you bring up sex or talk about it?
It used to be a lot, but not too often now. Basically it has fizzled out.

What do you hope the Sinclair Institute sex videos will provide for the two of you?
I am hoping it will make him want to find out what the root of the problem is and find a remedy for it. He has resigned himself to being old. The sex is gone and the romance is gone. There is no more spark.

Last month, we gave 12 FOF couples or singles the chance to win one of Sinclair Institute’s outstanding sex education videos. Sinclair has been helping people rev up their sex lives since 1991 and  is the leading source of sexual health products and videos in the United States.  Its Better Sex Video Series® has sold over four million videos in over 30 countries. Featuring real couples in loving and committed relationships, the videos explain and show us the stuff that turns them–and will turn you–ON!

We asked contest entrants which video they would most like to win. Then, we interviewed the winners–asking them to “bare all” about their sex lives. After they receive and watch the video of their choice, we will follow up and publish the interview here on the SEXcellent blog.

Below, is our fourth installment–an interview with FOF Lucy* and her husband, Richard* (names have been changed to protect their privacy.)

How old are you?
Lucy: I’m 51 and Richard is a few years younger.

How long have you been married?
Lucy: We’ve been married almost 20 years.

Were there any other marriages between you?
Richard: We’ve both been married once before.

How did you meet?
Lucy: In a bar!

Tell us about that.
Lucy: He knew a person who I was with. He asked me to dance and we’ve been together ever since.

Richard: That’s true.

What do you do?
Richard: I do I.T. work–I manage people. I’m a computer guy.

Lucy: I’m an exercise instructor.

Do you have children?
Lucy: I have a grown child. And we have a granddaughter.

Richard: They’re both my kids, too.

Lucy: He’s not bio-dad but he’s better than bio-dad.

Richard: That’s true.

Give us some background on your sex life together.
Lucy: I had a hysterectomy within a couple of weeks of meeting Richard, at age 29. Our sex life was fine in the beginning and for many years. But we’ve had sex less frequently during the past six years. Sex would often be painful. That’s why I went on bio-identical hormones within the last year.

Richard: That has helped some.

Lucy: It’s not painful anymore. So now we’d just like to get it going. It is still hard to find the time in our busy lives and make it exciting, I guess.

How come?
Richard: In the past year I’ve traveled a lot and my sex drive has decreased as I’ve gotten older.

Do you care about having a more active sex life?
Lucy: Yes, I do.

How come?
Lucy: If you’re not sharing that intimacy you have to find another way to create it, which is probably even harder.

Lucy, is there anything you’d like Richard to do, sexually, that he doesn’t do now?
Lucy: No.

Richard, is there anything you’d like Lucy to do, sexually, that she doesn’t do now?
Richard: No.

Are you both able to reach climax during sex?
Both: Yes.

When was the last time you two had great sex?
Both: We think it’s good, if not great, every time we have sex. No one particular time recently stands out.

Has the decline in your sex life affected your relationship?
Richard: I don’t think so anymore. But I was frustrated in the past because Lucy didn’t feel like it. But since my sex drive is not what it used to be, I’m not as frustrated.

Lucy: He’s finally catching up to me! When we have sex, it’s good.

Richard: There’s no tension because of it. It’s like Lucy said, it’s really good when we do have sex, but we both have to be in that moment–not tired, or like ‘I just worked out and don’t feel like taking a shower,’ that kind of thing. I travel a lot so that’s exhausting. We talk about having sex sometimes but it just doesn’t happen.

Why not?
Richard: Sometimes our top priority is getting sleep.

What would you like to accomplish?
Lucy: To create the time and to increase our desire. Maybe that would overtake the lack of energy. As we get older our libido declines, its not that we don’t want to have sex.

Last month, we gave 12 FOF couples or singles the chance to win one of Sinclair Institute’s outstanding sex education videos. Sinclair has been helping people rev up their sex lives since 1991 and  is the leading source of sexual health products and videos in the United States.  Its Better Sex Video Series® has sold over four million videos in over 30 countries. Featuring real couples in loving and committed relationships, the videos explain and show us the stuff that turns them–and will turn you–ON!

We asked contest entrants which video they would most like to win. Then, we interviewed the winners–asking them to “bare all” about their sex lives. After they receive and watch the video of their choice, we will follow up and publish the interview here on the SEXcellent blog.

“My husband has ED and prefers to rely on Cialis, but I’m unsure how safe that is. I am frustrated and, at 58, not ready to give up on our sex life.” -Rhonda Marks* (named changed to protect privacy)

How old is your husband?
Same age.

How many years have you been married?
Many decades.

Where did you meet?
We met on a retreat in Louisiana.

Children?
We have two grown boys.

What has changed in your sex life?
The kids are grown and gone. My youngest left 12 years ago. It seems that things really turned around for me after they left and I developed more interest in sex. My libido actually improved after menopause.

Have you and your husband argued about sex?
Actually no. We argue about other things, but not about sex.

What was your sex life like when the kids were still at home?
We were having sex two to three times a week. Back then I could take it or leave it. I just wasn’t interested.

What specifically has changed for your husband?
I noticed he didn’t have the ability to maintain an erection long enough to satisfy me. It’s never long enough.

Did he see his physician?
Yes, and the physical didn’t indicate anything unusual. It might be an age thing, but I don’t really buy into that.

Has your husband made any changes to his lifestyle?
He has made some dietary changes. He is eating better and he is doing a bit better with his erection, but it’s still not long enough for me.

How often do you have sex?
We shoot for three times a week, but it’s more like once a week. We actually proclaimed Wednesday as ‘hump’ day.

How has the designated “hump day” been working out?
It works out most of the time, but not always. We might have had a long day and just don’t feel like having sex.

Do you think this designated day has affected your husband’s performance, as there is a lack of spontaneity in it?
Not at all, it actually gives us something to look forward to on that day.

You mentioned that your husband uses Cialis. Why do you have a problem with this?
He has maintained an erection with Cialis, but I don’t like him taking unnecessary medication. I would prefer he did it on his own. Plus, Cialis is expensive.

How does your husband like taking Cialis?
He likes taking Cialis because it helps a lot with his erection and it gives him confidence. He likes to use it when he wants to make sure I am satisfied. He is fine without it. He can have an erection, but can only maintain it until he has a climax. It’s never long enough for me because it takes me longer to get to that point.

Has this had a negative impact on your marriage?
It hasn’t affected our marriage. We still love each other. It’s just very frustrating for me. He can climax, but I can’t unless he uses his hands.

You seem to have designated the erection as the main source of your frustration. Do you think there is anything else contributing to it?
It could be that it takes me longer to climax and there are things that contribute to this. My mood, lack of foreplay and alcohol. If I have a glass of wine, it slows me down.

Do you think your previous lack of interest in sex (when the kids were still at home) may be affecting your current sex life?
I don’t think so. As parents we were busy. We both worked and the evenings were consumed helping with homework and other activities and we would go to bed tired. I had less energy even though I was younger. My husband understood. I have more energy now and so does he. When we come home from a long day at work, we can unwind.

Have you tried porn or various sex toys?
Never used porn. I tried a vibrator, but it really wasn’t for me.

Is oral sex a regular part of your sex life?
Yes, it’s a good source of foreplay. We don’t have oral sex all of the time, but a good bit of the time. I have to add we are only comfortable with it after we have both showered or bathed.

What are your husband’s feelings about this? Is he comfortable with you reaching out to FOF?
He is willing to try as long as it’s legitimate.

What do you hope to gain from the Sinclair Institute sex education tapes? (Note: Sinclair is sending Rhonda and her husband its Better Sex Video Series.)
I hope it teaches us some things we never tried. I want my husband to learn some foreplay from it and I want to learn how to be more fulfilled. I want him to be able to keep an erection longer and I want to be stimulated by his erection.

Is there anything else you can tell us about you and your husband?
We lead very active lives. We’re not old FOFs. We like to go dancing.  We don’t feel or look our age. I want our sex life to resemble the rest of our life and enjoy it while we still can.

Last month, we gave 12 FOF couples or singles the chance to win one of Sinclair Institute’s outstanding sex education videos. Sinclair has been helping people rev up their sex lives since 1991 and  is the leading source of sexual health products and videos in the United States.  Its Better Sex Video Series® has sold over four million videos in over 30 countries. Featuring real couples in loving and committed relationships, the videos explain and show us the stuff that turns them–and will turn you–ON!

We asked contest entrants which video they would most like to win. Then, we interviewed the winners–asking them to “bare all” about their sex lives. After they receive and watch the video of their choice, we will follow up and publish the interview here on the SEXcellent blog.

Below, is our second installment–an interview with FOF Sandra, 53, who entered the contest with her husband Mark, 60.

How long have you and Mark been married?
Three years….we’re newlyweds!  We had both been married before. We were both single for a couple years after being divorced.  We met online–like everyone these days.

Do you have children?
We have kids by our previous marriages. Mark has four adult children and I have two adult children and a 12 year old who lives with us.

What do you do for a living?
My husband owns his own business, and I work for him. I manage the office.

How often do you have sex?
This last year our sex has varied from once a month to four times a month.

Has your sex life changed as a couple since you got together?
I think the sex itself is better than it was in the beginning, because we communicate well and we’ve only grown closer as a couple.  We really adore each other…we flirt in the office all day long! But, we’re not having sex as much as we’d both like to.

How often would you like to have sex?
Both of us would like to have sex at least three times a week–with a quickie here and there.

Are there any specific issues that you feel are hindering your sex life?
My libido is lower since I’ve turned fifty. I still enjoy sex, but I just don’t have the desire like I used to. When it’s happening, I’m happy, but I don’t always seek it out. Also, I’m a little overweight. I have put on 20 pounds since last June, and it affects me physically and mentally day and night.

Do you think your weight is an issue for your husband as well? Or is it more your hang up?
My husband is very attracted to me and has never allowed my weight to be an issue for him. So, yes, it is more my hang up.

How do you and your husband differ when it comes to sex?  
We don’t really differ in what we want to do, but his sex drive is high and mine is low, so sometimes I feel like I’m letting him down. He says he doesn’t feel that way at all, but I’m sure he would like us to be intimate more often. That’s one thing he’s hoping this will help with.

Is there anything you’d like your husband to do, sexually, that he doesn’t do now?  
I would like my husband to take more of the lead, and, more recently, to not come so quickly (mostly due to the fact we don’t have sex as often as we initially did).

Is there anything he’d like you to do?
He would like more oral sex. He would also like us to tease and take more time with each other.

Are you able to reach climax during sex?
I often have small orgasms, but rarely do I have a full blown climax.

How about your husband’s weight and health? Do these things affect your sex life at all?
My husband is overweight also, but he is in good health, has a lot of energy and gets around like a 40 year old.

Are there any other personal issues that you think make it difficult for you to enjoy sex?
Life–ha! But actually, it is life–and more specifically, stress. This last year has been a tough one with various business and family issues, including the loss of my mom. That and the extra weight wears on me, so I am exhausted at night. We haven’t had the alone time that we need.

When was the last time you two had great sex?
Ummm….  we both can’t remember, so it’s been a few months or so.

What do you hope these videos will help you accomplish?
Taking time to watch the videos will make us focus on us. We get busy with life, and we’re tired at night…so we skip that part. And we miss it, so we need to make it a priority. And hopefully we’ll learn something new.