Meet Coaches Analisa & Jeffrey Rutstein

LEAVE A COMMENT 2013 October 18

Analisa & Jeffrey Rutstein

Age: Between the two of us, we’re 97 years young. And we both feel fabulous! (Imagine big grin with a wink!)

Are or have you been married, and what’s your view on marriage?

AnaLisa: We were both previously divorced and have been together for 14 years. Marriage with the right person can be a wonderful experience, while marriage to the wrong person can be a lesson and an opportunity for growth and healing, even if that includes leaving the other person.

We believe that relationships can be the most important catalysts for growth and maturity, and that learning to deepen love and compassion for one’s self and for your partner is one of the many riches to be reaped in a long-term committed relationship.

Kids?

AnaLisa: Jeffrey’s two children from his previous marriage are blessings to us in many different ways. While step parenting can present many challenges, and life with children can become stressful, there is joy of seeing them develop and grow into passionate, caring adults and set off into the world on their own.

Where did you grow up and what did your parents do?

AnaLisa: I was born in Brooklyn, NY and grew up in Marlboro, NJ. My father was an entrepreneur who owned several businesses, and my mother is a writer and active in community affairs.

Jeffrey: I was born in Washington, DC and grew up in Silver Spring, MD. My father was a dentist, and my mother was a social worker.

What did you do before The Effort Less Method™ for Lasting Weight Loss?

Jeffrey: I have been a Clinical Psychologist for over 33 years and AnaLisa, who has an MA in psychology, has been working with women as a health coach and body therapist, helping women heal their relationships with food, their bodies, weight, and their lives.

Why and what inspired you to create The Effort Less Method™ for Lasting Weight Loss?

Jeffrey: It was a confluence of many things. AnaLisa had struggled with weight for the majority of her life, trying every diet and weight loss plan under the sun and in the process gaining and losing hundreds of pounds.

AnaLisa: More than 8 years ago I weighed 226 pounds and was miserable. I hated my body and was frustrated, ashamed, and sick and tired of a lifetime of gaining and losing the same 30 pounds. My health also was suffering. I had tried every diet and weight-loss plan around, many more than once, and had consulted world-class therapists, specialists, and participated in numerous programs, all to no avail.

I really felt how struggling only produces more struggling; the harder you try, the harder you keep trying. And often you keep getting into the same traps, over and over again.

Struggling only creates and maintains the problem. The key was to stop the cycle, to stop the struggle.

One night I finally hit rock bottom. After eating two pizzas, two pints of Ben & Jerry’s, and a large bag of Cheese Doodles, I started feeling very sick. Sitting on my couch, I burst into tears. They weren’t quiet tears. I was wailing! And I heard myself saying out loud, ‘I just can’t do this anymore! I feel like I am going to burst! I can’t continue living this way! Something has to change!’

I felt like dying. I was so hopeless and so sick of myself and of my struggle with food and weight. I felt like I was broken. Food could no longer numb me. Somewhere, somehow I felt that there must be more to life than this.

Just then, my Jeffrey came in and found me in a puddle on the couch, sobbing and covered in Cheese Doodle crumbs. He had just returned from leading an all-day mindfulness meditation retreat and showed me a Chinese Finger puzzle he had received that day. It was the kind that became tighter around your fingers the more you struggled to remove it.

As I played with the toy something clicked in me. I really felt how struggling only produces more struggling; the harder you try, the harder you keep trying. And often you keep getting into the same traps, over and over again. Struggling only creates and maintains the problem.

The key was to stop the cycle, to stop the struggle.

When I finally relaxed and exerted less effort, I finally got free of the finger puzzle and that changed how I saw everything.

Jeffrey and I talked for hours that night, and for days and weeks after that about finding a way that works, because up until then, nothing had. Our weeks and months of exploration and experimentation evolved into what is now known as “The Effort Less Method™ for Lasting Weight Loss” and “True Food Technology™”.

What is the mission of The Effort Less Method™ for Lasting Weight Loss?

Jeffrey: We help women finally lose the weight and keep it off without struggle or deprivation, so they can have the energy, confidence and health to live the life for which they long. We want to help transform the way women lose weight, but also help them end the struggle and internal war that they wage against excess weight, which causes unnecessary suffering.

Tell us about your Workshops?.

Jeffrey: We do on-line and in-person groups, and also do in-person group weekend events—all aimed at helping women become empowered to gain the body and life they have been craving, while letting go of struggle, deprivation, and denial. Our work is a fun mixture of teaching, discussion, and experiential exercises, which lay the foundation for personal growth and transformation of your relationship to food, your body, your weight, and your life. We often say, ‘how you do one thing, is how you do all things.’ How you struggle with your weight, your self-esteem, and your body, mirrors how you relate to and struggle with your life.

AnaLisa: Women who want to lose weight usually feel they carry excess burdens and responsibilities. They are unhappy with their figures and with their lives and how they live them. They might even put their lives on hold until they lose the weight, have the body they love, or are comfortable being nude. However, they can wait a lifetime for such conditions to arise. We emphasize how they can change their lives and bodies NOW, so the pounds melt away and the physical and emotional weight and stress that they are carrying can be transformed and released.

What kind of FabOverFifty woman can most benefit from your coaching?

Jeffrey: Any woman who has ever struggled with weight loss, who has lost and regained weight, and is ready to finally release the weight for good. This is not a quick fix, but the results will impact the rest of your life. This is not a meal plan, or “diet”, but a total approach to eating, to food, to your body, and your life.

What’s the greatest piece of advice you can give FOF women?

AnaLisa: It is not your fault! Too often women are made to feel that it is their fault; that they don’t eat right, live right, work right, or do relationships right. However we are doing things, we are doing the best we can with the resources we possess in a particular moment and situation. Every problem, obstacle, life transition, or stressful situation holds a hidden gem of a message that can help us learn, grow, evolve, and mature toward a life that is healed, happy, and fulfilling.

What famous women do you most admire?

AnaLisa: One is Maya Angelou, the poet, playwright, actor, author, educator, producer, director and civil rights activist. She has been no stranger to pain and hardship, and yet her spirit burns so bright. Her poetry is capable of capturing the depths of despair and leads us to soar in the heights of love, connection, purpose, redemption, and healing. She is a shining light.

Another is Debbie Ford, who passed away this year. She was a best-selling author and teacher known for her work in helping people break free of their emotional baggage and fears. She successfully triumphed over her own dark struggles with addiction and embodied a path of healing and transformation, which unites head and heart, mind and soul in simple yet profound teachings. She taught people how to live beyond the limitations of their old beliefs and behaviors, and how to embrace and integrate their whole selves. Her light will be missed.

Do you have a mentor?

Jeffrey: We have many and each has been a gift and a blessing. To mention a few: Marc David, founder of The Institute of the Psychology of Eating; Melissa Grace and Phil DelPrince, Hakomi Method trainers and therapists extraordinaire who taught us the profound power of working with the body to heal the mind; Barbara Ganim, cofounder and coordinator of the Expressive Arts Institute at Salve Regnia University, who introduced us to the world of expressive arts and its use as a healing and transformative modality.

FOFace-to-Face with Karen Kimsey-House, Co-founder of The Coaches Training Institute (CTI)

LEAVE A COMMENT 2013 October 14

When FOF decided to launch a section on Lifestyle Coaches, we approached The Coaches Training Institute about a partnership. One of the premier coach training institutes in the world, CTI’s exclusive Co-Active approach is considered by many to be the profession’s gold standard.

Once you read our thought-provoking interview with Karen Kimsey-House, below, you’ll be tempted to sign up for CTI’s Fundamentals course. I am planning to do exactly that. See for yourself!

—Geri Brin

What’s the history of CTI?

We started CTI in 1992, the year after I married. I was in my early 40s. My husband and I both came from the world of the theatre. I was an actress. When I was 38, I began to want more stability in my life and to transition into a more professional career. So I started an adult educational learning company right here in San Francisco, called The Learning Annex. That’s where I met one of my partners, Laura Whitworth, who became one of the founders of CTI and who has since passed away. I met my husband, Henry House, through Laura. He was the third CTI founder.

What was the status of coaching in 1992?

Coaching, as we know it today, did not exist. There was some work inside organizations for executives. If they hired an executive coach for you, it was because you were on your way out or were in trouble. Coaches didn’t exist for the masses or individuals.

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Meet Coach Rosanne Leslie

LEAVE A COMMENT 2013 September 30

Rosanne Leslie

Age: 52

Are you married?

I’ve been divorced for 12 years. I was married for 13 years and have three children. My marriage taught me what love is and, most importantly, what love is not. Raising my three children alone showed me how our society views single women and mothers and gave me the freedom to stand autonomously outside of that paradigm. Recognizing the dysfunctional dynamics of my marriage I was able to (slowly) extricate myself from it.

What did your parents do?

My father was an engineer for an international company and my mother was a stay-at-home mom.

Why did you become a coach?

I became a life-coach as a result of coaching myself through several years of single parenting. I discovered some of the perennial answers to questions I believe we all have when faced with life challenges and changes. Who Am I? What is love? Why am I here? What is my purpose? How can I be happy?

Happiness is found at our core and so long as we have hope and dreams we can find joy in any day.

What kind of Fab over Fifty women can most benefit from your coaching?

Any woman can benefit from coaching if she is ready to make a change and is earnest. However, the woman who will most benefit from my style of coaching is one who would like to redefine herself and still believes that she has dreams left in her and that she possesses the power to make them come true. I work a great deal with women who have teen-aged children and parenting challenges. One of my greatest strengths is guiding women through the process of divorce, especially those involving domestic violence issues. These women have special needs and because I lived this kind of marriage, I understand them. My empathy and compassion runs very deep for them.

What is your mission?

My mission is manifold. We all suffer and complain too much. There is a certain camaraderie and “acceptance” in the conversations between women in their complaining and suffering and I would like to show them that they can be happy now, in this very moment. Happiness is not contingent upon anyone’s external world or life circumstances. Happiness is found at our core and so long as we have hope and dreams we can find joy in any day. My mission is to guide individuals to autonomy in a society that does not readily embrace that. My greatest mission is to show women how to love and be loved and to celebrate their femininity as a gift and not a weapon against men or themselves.

Tell us about your typical client.

I don’t have a typical client. Everyone is different and comes to me when they are either excited about changing their lives and careers or they are devastated and traumatized and don’t know where or how to begin their day.

What is the greatest piece of advice you can give women?

To recognize that they are alive and what alive really means. The pulse of our society and the world is extremely fast and prevents many from understanding and feeling that they are “here” and that being “here” is precious and a gift.

What woman do you admire most?

I don’t have a particular woman I admire. Perhaps it is she, the silent and nameless one, unrecognizable in the crowd and the world, that I admire most. She is not famous or rich by society’s standard, but she knows how to give and love selflessly. She silently struggles every day to get by and has boundless compassion, integrity and humility. I think she is in every woman. She is my hero and I look for her, every day.

What is your favorite quote?

“Imagination is more important than knowledge.”–Albert Einstein.

Meet Coach Mike Halsey

LEAVE A COMMENT 2013 September 12

Mike Halsey

Age: 46

Tell us about your background

I’m 46 and live in New York City. I have a B.A. in Economics from UCLA, was in the U.S. Navy for 10 years, and have been a pilot for a major US airline for 14 years. I love travel, visits with family and friends, surfing, reading, guitar, and live music.

Are or have you been married, and what’s your view on marriage?

I was married for over 18 years to an extraordinary woman. I did and always will love her from the core of my soul. It was the most harrowing challenge of my life to finally accept that our best selves simply were not well-suited to flourishing together as husband and wife. Divorce tore me to pieces emotionally, and then allowed me to put myself back together in a much more authentic and full form.

I believe committed partnership can be a uniquely life-enriching gift, or a crutch for our saddest insecurities, depending on how we design and live into it each moment. Marriage is one possible structure in that design. I feel we should champion devoted love in all forms, but never burden couples with an expectation that marriage is some kind of cure-all, end game or societal “stamp of approval” in and of itself.

What brought you to coaching?

The end of my marriage shook up many stuck habits and latent dreams, and also a ton of pain and fear. Sitting on the couch one gorgeous spring day in my cool new Georgetown bachelor pad, I was shocked to suddenly realize I had no absolutely no idea what mattered to me! I knew that I loved my family and friends dearly, but that was about all I was clear on. What was my purpose? My contribution to the world? Did it matter at all what I did, or even what I thought? My lack of answers scared the heck out of me.

Airline flying was what I did, but had never been who I was. People, relationships and creative possibility captivated my imagination. In spite of the “doing” stuff I had filled my life with, my heart always ached for richer experience, more meaningful happiness, and deeper understanding of why we’re all here. My brain recognized this calling–fulfillment–as the ultimate end goal of everything we humans do, but I had only the foggiest dreams of what it could look like in my real life.

As I know now, a foggy dream is a good enough place to start.

I was told I needed to write, I needed to speak before groups–those were my clearest gifts. Lovingly worn and notated books on psychology, spirit and self-development filled my home, fueling my dreams while silently chiding my stagnation. But it wasn’t until I worked with a skilled and perceptive career coach that these inklings crystallized into a clear vision and a concrete conduit for my gifts and values. I soon found myself enrolled in over a year of intensive coach training and certification. Since then, Mike Halsey Coaching has grown into the centerpiece of my inward and outward life purpose.

I best serve those who feel a deep sense of some important calling–even if they can’t yet name it–and who hunger to answer it.

What is your mission as a coach?

My mission is helping people to live the really cool lives of their dreams. I believe this is important in the grandest sense imaginable.

I believe happiness is more than a selfish indulgence with transient rewards. To the contrary, it seems that if we have any purpose at all in this universe, it is naturally steered and motivated by the spark which shapes our deepest wants and curiosities. In my estimation, the clearest sign that we are “doing what we are supposed to” is when life feels thrilling, juicy and deeply satisfying. Why else would Nature wire us this way?

The path to fulfillment looks different to each of us, of course, but its rewards are shared by all. Joyful and purposeful living is contagious, and I would like to see it become epidemic. My commitment–what thrills and motivates me–is to help others access the vision and energy already inside them, to blow past or straight through useless fears, and then transform life into an experience even greater than they could have imagined.

Are there any particular life experiences which inform your coaching?

My childhood spent “in the middle” between two wonderful sisters, divorced parents and step parents, gave me an appreciation of how good people can vary so widely in their perspectives and struggles. This shakes up any tendency (in myself or with my clients) to buy into any reflexive judgement or rigid world view, thus opening up a playground of possibility in which to experiment.

Flying Navy jets from aircraft carriers and then instructing the next generation of tactical aviators taught me a ton about shattering self-limiting beliefs, and what amazing stuff lies on the other side of fear. The incredible sailors and Marines I led and followed opened my eyes to the unique capacities we each have, and how a spark of motivation can be nurtured into miracles of performance. I’ve learned this to be true of individuals and teams of any size or complexity.

My richest lessons of all, though, have come from a goldmine of personal and family relationships which continuously point me toward life’s highest meaning.

What famous women do you most admire?

Rock stars come to mind: Janis Joplin, Joan Jett, Madonna, Lady Gaga. These ladies hung their inspiration, sexuality and wild creativity way out there, with no guarantee at all of approval or acceptance, and virtual certainty that many would judge and chastise them. Fearless, genuine and vividly alive!

How do women most sabotage themselves?

My gut answer is easy: Women sabotage their greatness by looking outside themselves for the rules of how to be, for validation, and for love. Strong, brilliant women commonly waste valuable energy looking to society, romantic partners, mothers–anyone but themselves–to let them know they are getting it right, that they are simply OK.

As a coach, the most important thing I can do is help my clients move away from such pointless habits as wholly and rapidly as possible. They resist, of course. (There is a certain comfort in hiding from choice, right?) Fortunately, the thrill of finding and following one’s own internal compass is irresistible once tasted, so my prodding role usually morph’s quickly into one of smiling support and applause.

What kind of client do you most enjoy working with?

I best serve those who feel a deep sense of some important calling–even if they can’t yet name it–and who hunger to answer it. Whether in career, relationships or self/spiritual development, this usually appears as a nagging little voice which whispers (or screams) something like, “There is untapped richness here. Life could be so much better. Make it happen!” Eagerness to explore non-linear solutions and powerful, creative shifts in perspective is a major plus, too.

While I’ve chosen not to limit my practice to a specific topical or demographic niche, the vast majority of my clients are women who are either contemplating or in the middle of major life transitions. They are often torn between a knowing heart thrilled by life’s potential, and a mix of fear, guilt and obligations to others.

I simply love helping these wonderful ladies to transform what may have seemed like selfish, unrealistic or downright crazy dreams into wholesome and utterly fulfilling new realities.

Where and how often do you meet with your clients?

Almost all of my coaching is done via phone or Skype with great clients around the world, but I am also available for in-person sessions in New York City. We generally meet for three 40-50 minute sessions per month, or two longer sessions of 60-75 minutes each, depending upon your situation and preferences.

Tell us about your workshops and presentations.

This is a great new adventure for me, a natural extension of both my personal journey and professional mission. Unlike individual coaching, which requires that I constantly clean my slate of personal opinions, priorities or expectations, keynotes and workshops allow me to create fun and valuable learning from all that this rich life has provided — bloopers, heartaches and “greatest hits” included.

Whether in a high-impact talk of 15 to 60 minutes or an interactive workshop of a few hours or days, my goal in group work is to jumpstart big, positive and lasting change. I tailor my message to the unique makeup and priorities of each new audience, leveraging the most powerful themes which have shown up time and time again in my own life and through my clients’ shared journeys.

I’m not big on scripts, lectures or one-way preaching; but I do have great fun smashing false mental barriers. So if you invite me to work with your group, expect to be shaken (with a smile, promise), awakened, and challenged to play well outside of any comfy confines or boxed paradigms.

What is the most important thing a new client should know about you as their coach?

That I love them. Seriously. We may never meet in person, but when you invite me to partner with you in the most important venture of all–your life–I consider it a great honor and responsibility. You enter the fabric of my thoughts 24/7. During and between sessions, I challenge myself to abandon comfort zones and constantly reevaluate what is possible in the service of your.

Since I may often hold you in higher regard than you do yourself, I will ask you to try ideas and actions you might never ask of yourself. When you stumble, I will champion your courage and effort. When you succeed, we will celebrate. I will support your vision of what your best life, and I will never judge.

It thrills me to witness a life transformed, and I’m well aware that such a shift sends positive ripples far out into the world we all share.

Meet Coach Andrea Warshaw-Wernick

LEAVE A COMMENT 2013 September 6

Andrea Warshaw- Wernick

Age: 66

Married?

I’m married to my third husband, Joel, a recruiter for Blue Star Jets, a private on-demand jet charter company, the largest in the world. We were married 17 years ago, on Cinco de Mayo.

Children?

No kids, but I have four fabulous, delicious grandchildren — 3, 5, 10 and 12 — from Joel’s two children from a previous marriage. I also have a 17 year old Yorkie, Lucy Jo.

Where did you grow up and go to school?

I grew up in East New York, Brooklyn, and then moved to Forest Hills, Queens. I went to Queens College for my BA and Hunter College for my MA in education and received a second Master’s in speech and theatre from The New School.

Your parents?

My father died when I was three and my mother owned a corsetorium, which made bras for women with mastectomies. She raised me alone. I’m an only child. I’m still amazed at what my mother was able to do as a single mom.

We’re all living longer than generations before us and we have to stay strong and healthy now or we’re going to fail. You can’t reverse time at 75. You have to start in your fifties.

Tell us about your former career

I taught first grade for seven years, but discovered teaching wasn’t my true calling, so I left the education field and decided to immerse myself in the NYC social scene for about five years. I played backgammon every night and went dancing at the various NYC hot spots at the time. That was my crazy time, from around 1972 to 1977.

I started representing photo retouchers when I was about 30. I excelled at sales and I loved working with art directors. It was a lot of fun and lucrative, but computers made photo retouching obsolete overnight. I quickly transformed myself into representing illustrators who did storyboards for TV spots. I represented about 50 illustrators and built my client base into a national company, which I sold in 2005. Following this, I became a creative recruiter and started Connector NYC, which places art directors, copywriters, account managers and project managers in advertising agencies. I continue this career today.

When and why did you decide to become a coach?

Three years ago I decided to change directions once again. Like many other women of the Boomer generation, I got to a point in my career during which I said ‘what now?’ Women my age are the ‘What Now?’ Generation. We’ve raised children or, in some cases, grandchildren, left our careers, become widowed or divorced, often don’t know what to do when we suddenly don’t have anyone to take care of, or any work responsibilities. A lot of us become depressed. We ask, ‘Where do I go? How do I do it?’ How do I reboot my life? The first thing we need to do is take control of our health, fitness, inner self-awareness and eventually our beauty. That’s where I come in.

As a life and style coach, I connect women to the proper nutritionist, trainer, doctor, or other professional who can most help them in the areas of their life they’d like to improve. I help them answer questions, such as: ‘What gym should I go to?’ ‘What kind of workout is best for me based on my weight-loss goals?’ ‘What diet should I have if I want to lose weight and have more energy?’

I personally take my clients to the trainer, nutritionist and even to the personal shopper if they desire. Not only do I connect them with the best people for their goals, but I also act as a personal motivator. I am a wellness companion to those ladies who are recovering from cancer or other serious illness. I physically stay alongside a woman, and offer encouragement, as she works with her trainer in an effort drop the weight that affected her body image. I coach ladies through a breakup or divorce, and help them see the positives in their life and where to redirect their focus.

Women hire me as the ultimate General Contractor of their ‘home,’ which in this case is their mind and body. Once a woman feels better, we go into her house and do a closet audit, and a stylist helps her shop. It’s all part of a huge new construction of a better you. Inside and out!

We’re all living longer than generations before us and we have to stay strong and healthy now or we’re going to fail. You can’t reverse time at 75. You have to start in your fifties.

How long is your program?

A woman must commit to at least a three-month program. It takes at least that long to set a reasonable outline of your goals and to begin to see improvement in the area one sees lacking in her life. Nothing good and lasting comes quick and easy!

What kind of woman most benefits from working with you?

A woman who is really, really interested in changing her lifestyle and wants to get healthy. She must have the WANT. Perhaps she is recently divorced or widowed, or life has otherwise just gotten her into a funk. She might have gained a great deal of weight, or is in remission after cancer treatment.

What’s the greatest piece of advice you can give a FOF woman?

Stay positive, Stay healthy and Keep On Moving.

What do women do to sabotage themselves?

They think negatively, with the glass half-empty. They have to learn how to rewire their brains. That’s where I come in, to keep them positive at all times.

Who is one famous woman you admire?

I love Hillary Clinton. She stood up to adversity when her husband was cheating on her, with the world watching her being humiliated. She was able to turn it around and become even better than she was before.

Do you have a mentor?

My mother, who came from nothing. My father died young and she didn’t have a penny. She had a breakdown yet she came back and reinvented herself. A woman, named Jean, had a corsetorium and taught her how to make bras for women who had mastectomies. That was the world before reconstructive surgery. I worked there, too, every day after school and on Sundays. My mother eventually bought the business and was able to retire at 50. I admire her courage, strength, and dedication to improving her life to this day.

Meet Coach Amy Cohen

LEAVE A COMMENT 2013 September 6

Amy Cohen

Age: 54

Are you married?

Yes, my parents rented the downstairs apartment to the man who is now my husband. Funny enough, after lots of breaking up and getting back together, I practically forced him to move out so he wouldn’t be privy to my dating life, lol. Well, we ended up together and have been married for 24 years!

What does your husband do?

He is an entrepreneur as well and we have recently joined forces.

Kids?

Our daughter is 22 and our son is 17.

Where did you grow up and what did your parents do?

I grew up in Brooklyn, NY. My mother worked in a bank, but really had an entrepreneurial spirit and helped my father, who created costume jewelry in his own business.

What did you do before becoming a Practitioner for Emotional Health, Naturally?

I call this my second half of life! My first half was in corporate America as an office manager for a law firm in NYC and in credit management.

What made you choose your current field?

A number of years ago, my life was in turmoil. I was making medical decisions for my sick father, my marriage was failing, I needed to move and get my kids out of the schools they were attending. Usually a strong woman, I was falling apart, mentally and physically!

One evening, on my way back from the hospital to my father’s apartment, I suddenly couldn’t think or concentrate. That night, I could barely function or sleep. When I asked my doctor to prescribe something to help me to get through this period, she suggested that I take a flower remedy blend she would custom create for me. I had never heard of this before and it sounded odd. I wasn’t interested, but the doctor assured me that it would help me move back into balance emotionally, so I could handle all I was going through, make decisions with clarity and get back control. The blend was natural, powerful and would work quickly, she said. Honestly, natural was the last thing on my mind, but I took her recommendation.

Believe it or not, I had come back to life within two days, and was able to take the ‘bull by the horns.’ Was it really the flower remedy blend the doctor gave me? I wanted to learn more! After doing a great deal of research and experimentation with remedies for family and friends, I became a believer.

My path is to let women know that they don’t have to live in anxiety, but can move forward in their lives.

There is nothing, except negative thinking, that can get in our way.

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Meet Coach Betsy Karp

LEAVE A COMMENT 2013 August 22

Betsy Karp

Age: 49

Betsy Karp, who calls herself The Colour Coach, says she can help you start transforming your life today. Through the simple use of color, she will give you the tools that teach you how to shift your energy, attitude and perspective. A former artist, textile and fashion designer, Betsy is now a certified health and wellness counselor. She helps women–mind, body and soul–to “paint the picture” of their lives.

Are you married?

I’m not yet, but I feel really lucky because I have experienced passionate love with two wonderful men. Both relationships taught me how to be in a relationship and stay true to myself.

Kids?

In my second relationship, the man I was with had two younger children who I helped raise for five years. They were with us on weekends and I enjoyed every moment. What I loved most was their innocence and their joie de vive. Children help you to be present, enjoying the now. My time with them was precious, as well as all the lessons I learned.

Color is a powerful force I knew through my experience as an artist, painter and fashion designer, so I began to experiment with it.

Why did those relationships end?

I’m still involved with one of the men.

Where did you grow up and what did your parents do?

I grew up in Woodbridge, CT. My father is a corporate attorney and my mom was a stay- at-home mother who was always busy.

What did you do before becoming a coach?

I was an artist, textile designer, fashion designer and chef.

Why a coach?

I want to help women feel better about who they are. I help and guide women to live their inspired lives. From my world travels as a fashion designer and chef I reinvented myself during the second act of my life. I had my own fashion line that was sold in over 75 stores in North America, but it was deeply impacted by September 11th. Almost every one of my orders was cancelled and I had to close my business. I was devastated and depressed. I poured my heart and soul into this business and had to start all over again.

I began looking for design work and found some consulting work instead. But eventually that dried up, as well. I had been a designer for 25 years and couldn’t find a job in my industry. I kept asking myself, ‘Why me?’ Then one day I woke up and said, ‘ENOUGH Betsy! It’s time to rebuild your life.’

Color is a powerful force I knew through my experience as an artist, painter and fashion designer, so I began to experiment with it. I needed courage, so I decided to surround myself with my favorite color, ORANGE. Turns out that ORANGE is all about courage, bringing forth your creativity and positivity. Once I saw the amazing benefits it produced, I began experimenting with all different colors: from the colors of the food I ate, to the colors I wore, to the colors with which I surrounded myself. My glow from within was visible to others. It was transformative and family and friends noticed right away. I knew that if it worked for me it would work for other women as well. So I studied spirituality and how color affects one’s energy and Chakras. I then went back to school for a Health Counselor Certification from The Institute of Integrative Nutrition and Columbia Teacher’s College, as well as to a cooking school in Morocco and the Piazza Savonarola in Italy.

It is my calling to help ALL WOMEN in Transition—Moms, Single Women, Married Women and Single Moms—adore themselves, inside and out.

What kind of FabOverFifty woman can most benefit from coaching?

All women can benefit from coaching. I’ll help them understand what colors help with hot flashes or how to lose weight. As we get older we need support and I’m here to encourage women to be the best they can be. And believe that their lives matter and that it doesn’t matter how old you are if you just BELIEVE IN YOU!

What is your mission?

To style women’s lives by aligning their bodies, minds and souls from the inside out, from what they think, to what they eat and what they wear. i adore me empowers you to transform and live your life with passion, authenticity and self-love through the use of color.

Tell us about a typical client.

I work primarily with middle-aged women searching for their life’s true purpose and passions, who are feeling stuck, unattractive, unhealthy and negative. It’s time to shift your mindset, feel empowered, learn portion control and gain self-respect. I will support you in finding your true calling, guide you in identifying the positive actions you need to take and empower you in every aspect of your life, so you can say and FEEL “i adore me.”

How did you come up with the idea of I ADORE ME?

It is said “we teach best what we need to learn the most.” I think that everyone–women, men and children–need to adore themselves. Learning to love oneself is a lifelong journey. When I first came up with the name, a psychologist friend said, ‘no one is going to be able to say this I adore me thing.’ Now she’s singing it!

Have you written any books?

I have two e-books, Color Your World and Authentically You, as well as my weekly blog, Inspiring Insights.

What’s the greatest piece of advice you can give FOF women?

To learn to FEEL and SAY i adore me and really mean it for you.

How do women most sabotage themselves?

Women sabotage themselves by negative thought patterns and not letting go of their old drama and old stories.

What famous women do you most admire?

I love Hillary Clinton, Oprah and her best friend Gayle King, as well as Isabel Allende, Louise Hay, Diane Keaton, Susan Sarandon, Meryl Streep, Georgia O’Keeffe, Donna Karan and Diana Ross.

Do you have a mentor?

My dad is my mentor. He’s given me the greatest lesson in life and that is to always believe in yourself and always be persistent. NEVER GIVE UP!! I also work with a spiritual guru, Liam Watt, whom I adore. He has taught me how to allow feelings to be, to feel them, and to not push them under the carpet. Most importantly he has helped me to learn the gift of stillness. My life is different because of him.

Meet Coach Wendy Martens

LEAVE A COMMENT 2013 August 22

Wendy Martens

Age: 64

Are you married?

I’ve been divorced for 13 years, but was married for 30. We married too young and the marriage, which had many cracks, just crumbled when our oldest son died in 1998.

Kids?

I have two, one 33 and the other 36. My oldest would have been 38.

Where did you grow up and what did your parents do?

I grew up all over the US until I was 11, since my dad was in the Air Force. Then we settled in Bethesda, MD and my dad became VP of Marketing for Hughes Aircraft Co. My mom was a stay-at-home mom and loved to help my father’s career by entertaining beautifully.

What did you do before becoming a coach?

My first career was as a stay-at-home mom, which I was fortunate to be able to do. When my children were in high school, I went to work part-time and then full-time as a surgical coordinator for four surgeons and three hospitals. When I turned 50, after my son died, I decided to go to George Washington University and get my masters in counseling. I became a grief counselor, but found I couldn’t support myself. A friend suggested a great part-time job, which became full-time, with the United States Investigative Service, where I got my clearance and was a profiler and analyst training students to go abroad. I loved the uniqueness of the job, but had a number of surgeries, which prevented me from fulfilling the physical requirements.

For far too long, we’ve been inundated by negative messages about food, weight and diet.

We’ve been told that we are willpower weaklings or that we need more control. The majority of nutrition experts promote conflicting advice.

Why a coach?

I became a coach after hearing my mother continually tell me that I was heavy, starting when I was very young. She actually took me to an illegal diet doctor where I was put on ‘speed’ at the age of seven. Interestingly enough, I have picture of me at that time and I wasn’t heavy at all, just a tomboy, but my mother wanted a princess! Thus started the life-long battle with my body and the weight-loss roller coaster.

After losing my job with USIS, I attended the Institute of Integrative Nutrition and then earned certification from the Institute for the Psychology of Eating. I changed my entire business and wanted to help women. Working with mind-body nutrition and the psychology of eating leads to not only sustainable weight loss, but also to a love of your body in the present and the ability to delete toxic dietary beliefs.

My clients become truly embodied and can address the stress that is affecting their weight, their lives and their health. It has changed my life and my thoughts about my body and I want to help others to obtain the same truth, because I’ve been there!

What makes the Psychology of Eating approach different from other Weight Loss coaching?

For far too long, we’ve been inundated by negative messages about food, weight and diet. We’ve been told that we are willpower weaklings or that we need more control. The majority of nutrition experts promote conflicting advice. This results in confusion about what to eat, and how to have a happy relationship with food, as well as a healthy metabolism. I combine many of the best strategies from nutrition science and eating psychology in my professional practice. By eliminating all the “shoulds and should nots,” I focus on what’s right for your body and your personal style. As I work with women in this way, eating and health issues become a place of exploration. Instead of seeing such challenges as the enemy, they become opportunities for growth and self-improvement. I’ve learned to help women reach their highest goals through strategies that nourish, not punish.

What kind of FabOverFifty woman can most benefit from coaching?

All women from the ages of 40 to 50! This is a sacred time in a woman’s life, after peri-menopause and menopause, when she is truly coming into her strength. Many women still believe they are inadequate, ‘not good enough’, and often are not happy with their bodies. They are suffering from stress and self-hatred and do not realize that this prevents weight loss and true happiness. Self-love and acceptance are far more rewarding than calorie counting and crazy exercise and it helps you lose weight!

What is your mission?

I want women to stand tall in their glorious strength, which they all possess. Women tend to feel that there is something wrong with them, whether it’s their weight, their relationships, or their work, and it’s time to stop the madness. I want to be a mentor for all women about self-embodiment and self-love. The truth comes from within, not without. It’s time that all women got the message that they’re beautiful.

Tell us about a typical client.

Most of my clients are women over 40 who want to lose weight, which is usually the 20 pounds + that they’ve been trying to lose for years. They have tried every diet in the book, exercised themselves to the point of pain and haven’t lost the weight. They don’t realize that this frantic need to lose weight throws them into the ‘stress response’ that is preventing them from losing anything. Their obsession with weight is ruining and limiting their lives since they are waiting to live until they achieve their goal, which never comes. I help them learn to live in the present and relax into weight loss.

What’s the greatest piece of advice you can give FOF women?

Your journey in this life is your own; it’s not anyone else’s. Make the journey going full tilt, learning from the messy as well as the great and love your uniqueness and yourself completely! Celebrate, don’t denigrate!

How do women most sabotage themselves?

They believe everything they hear in the media. They live in their minds and not their bodies. Their best friend should be the sacred Feminine, but instead it’s the scale, which determines how they’ll fell each day—happy or depressed!

What famous women do you most admire?

Rosa Parks is a woman that sat for her rights. Most said she stayed in her seat because she was tired, but instead she was tired of ‘giving in’ to what society told her she should or shouldn’t do. I think she’s a mentor for all women to stop this artificial feeling to ‘give in’ to a world that is trying to dictate what the perfect woman looks like.

Maya Angelou, a fighter from the start, has been able to provide a positive message of humanity and hope. She said: ‘The honorary duty of a human being is to love.’ And every women should apply this to herself.

Do you have a mentor?

I have a number of mentors in my life for which I feel blessed. My spiritual mentor, Liz, enables wonderful conversations on our connection to nature and all that there is on and off this earth. Another mentor, Marc, has helped me to realize the joy of embodiment and loving yourself. A third, Sharon, taught me that one doesn’t need to live her life in fear and that I can trust. Finally, Christine, who has taught me about the sacred Feminine and using intuition to understand and not judge.

Meet Coach Nancy Kay

LEAVE A COMMENT 2013 August 22

Nancy Kay

Age: 50

Are you married?

I was married for 21 years, until the marriage ended in divorce in 2008. During the marriage, I supported my husband’s corporate career by relocating seven times all over the country every two to three years and handling the parenting duties since his job required that he travel three weeks each month the entire time we were married. I currently live in Columbus, Ohio.

Kids?

Three, ages 16, 21 and 26.

Where did you grow up and what did your parents do?

I grew up in Denver, Colorado. My mom was an at-home mom and my dad is an oil geologist who is still working at age 85!

What did you do before becoming a coach?

My first career was as a TV news reporter and writer. I then took on full-time parenting duties while also teaching preschool. During my divorce, I completed a law school paralegal program and then worked as a paralegal in family and bankruptcy law.

I want to empower women to take the steps they need to navigate through the storm of divorce with a greater understanding of how to work more effectively with their attorneys to get their best outcome.

Why did you become a coach?

I was blindsided by having to deal with divorce when I discovered that my husband of 20 years had a complicated secret life and was making plans to leave me and our children, with as little financial support as possible, while he pursued another woman.

I felt devastated. I had moved all over the United States for my husband to further his career and improve our family’s finances and then discovered the reason he insisted we start our own business that particular year was so he could claim his income wasn’t needed for my support.

During his corporate career, my husband had worked his way up to earning a six figure salary, with bonuses. Since he was planning to divorce me, but I didn’t know it yet, he refused to look for another corporate position when he was let go from his job.

He had severance pay for a year so during that time he insisted that we should take a large amount of cash out of our retirement to pay for the start-up costs for a water damage cleanup franchise in Columbus and that he and I would run it for the 20-year contract duration. We both signed the agreement, set up joint business checking accounts and visited the franchise headquarters in Florida.

He knew that by starting a business, his income would be minimal for spousal and child support calculations.

During my divorce I discovered just how much “Knowledge is Power” and spent a great deal of time researching and reading about infidelity, spousal support, custody factors and co-parenting while learning strategies about how to get the best possible outcome during the legal process.

Our attorneys said that I would have to continue to work with him every day in the franchise during our divorce or else sign papers to turn it all over to him, which is what I did. Continuing would have subjected me to more intense emotional and verbal abuse.

While working as a family law and bankruptcy paralegal, I saw first-hand just how much women can benefit from strategic guidance and support during such a challenging time when emotions can easily influence their ability to make sound decisions and negotiate from a position of strength.

What kind of FaboverFifty woman can most benefit from coaching?

A woman who is considering divorce or is currently going through separation or divorce and wants to put together a plan of action to start taking control of her life. I encourage a woman to realize that the decisions she makes right now during separation and divorce are truly critical to her future because divorce is the biggest business deal of her life.

Divorce is especially stressful to deal with because it cuts across every part of a woman’s life- her physical and emotional well-being, work life, family life, finances and spiritual life are all impacted by the changes that come along with the chaos.

What is your mission?

I want to empower women to take the steps they need to navigate through the storm of divorce with a greater understanding of how to work more effectively with their attorneys to get their best outcome.

I also want to enable women to set healthy boundaries to protect themselves as they deal with situations that involve infidelity, financial scheming, abusive behaviors and co-parenting disagreements.

I offer referrals to divorce professionals and one-on-one confidential coaching for women throughout the U.S. by phone or Skype.

Tell us about a typical client.

My clients are usually women in their 40s or beyond who realize that they are in an unhealthy marriage and not sure whether to leave their marriage or have decided to leave and need support and a plan of action to move forward with more focus and less fear and uncertainty.

Favorite quote?

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”–Soren Kierkegaard

Meet Coach Kathie Holmes

LEAVE A COMMENT 2013 August 22

Kathie Holmes

Age: 45

Are you married?

Yes. This is my second marriage. We met through an online dating site back when online dating sites were considered ‘strange’. We had an instant connection and married four months later. It hasn’t been smooth sailing but then not much in life really is.

What does he do?

He is a counting mutant – aka accountant. We watched the movie Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium, where the eccentric Mr. Magorium (played by Dustin Hoffman) tells his assistant he needs to get an accountant but that he has no idea what that is and he can only imagine it is some kind of counting mutant! My husband now gets this name at every turn.

Kids?

While we didn’t have children together we do have my beautiful daughters from my first marriage, who my husband has always loved and treated as his own.

It frustrates me that people assume that being creative means to be good at arts or crafts, when, in fact, it’s simply about letting your inner you shine through.

When you embrace your passion, you become creative by default.

Where did you grow up and what did your parents do?

I grew up in an average, suburban family in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, the eldest of three daughters. Both my parents worked in factories throughout my childhood and my parents divorced about 13 years ago. I am now estranged from my father, by choice, but have a fantastic relationship with my mum.

What did you do before becoming a coach?

The question should be what didn’t I do? I have had an amazing life doing lots of different things. I was a legal secretary, then worked in the hospitality field for eight years. After that I trained and worked as a phlebotomist (drawing blood for transfusions, research, donations, tests) until my husband and I opened our first online store in 2006, Sublime Accessories, where we sold unique accessories for the home. It was in the early days of online selling, so he going was tough.

Subsequently, I trained as a Life Coach and studied Reiki (an ancient Japanese spiritual healing modality that allows you to tune into either your own body and soul or that of others to heal illness by eradicating negative beliefs around the affected area of the body) and combined the two together to begin my coaching. My true passion is to help women improve their lives.

Why the Creative Ability Network?

I have always been hands on at the businesses where I worked and have learned about marketing, what makes a business tick and the do’s and don’ts of running a business.

As a phlebotomist I saw people from all walks of life, some chronically and/or terminally ill, and the overwhelming thing I found was that women, in particular, never put their needs first. There was always this sense of sadness about them so I began asking the question ‘what if you could have done anything you wanted?’ and discovered that so many women hadn’t lived the lives they truly wanted, usually because of constraints by others.

Since my passion has always been to help others, I realized I needed to help women to live the best lives possible and to let their inner creativity and passion shine.

What kind of FabOverFifty woman can most benefit from coaching?

Anyone who wants more out of life. She might want a better financial situation, perhaps she just wants to find that burning passion inside her and use it to create her business or she wants to be waking up everyday knowing that the day ahead is one she created and one that she wants.

What is your mission?

To create a worldwide network of inspiring women who support each other from the early stages of starting their business right through to the day-to-day running of the business. A place where women can do what women do best and that is to support each other to benefit each other. A place where friendships will be made, support given and business networking can be combined.

Tell us about a typical client.

My typical clients are women 40+, usually staring at their lives through a window and wondering what the hell happened. Where did their lives go? Women get so absorbed in running a family, raising kids and holding down a job that we forget to take the time for us and allow our inner spark to shine through. My clients are on the precipice of wanting change but not really knowing how or feeling scared to do so without support. They want to do something they love every day but also earn an income from it so they are financially independent.

How did you come up with the Creative Ability Network?

It frustrates me that people assume that being creative means to be good at arts or crafts, when, in fact, it’s simply about letting your inner you shine through. When you embrace your passion, you become creative by default. Your creative ability is your unique way of teaching what you love, sharing your story and helping others with similar interests. I want to guide as many women as possible to pursue that passion and share it with the world.

Creative Ability Network is a place where women find their creative way to express their inner passion and network with other women.

Have you written any books?

I have written many eBooks, both on business and coaching topics, and have been featured in Sprout the Life You Love – Tales and Secrets from Female Entrepreneurs alongside Rhonda Britten, Sandy Forster and other female entrepreneurs.

What’s the greatest piece of advice you can give FOF women?

Just Change It! This is my motto. If your life isn’t making you happy and you are not living what you are passionate about, then Just Change It. You have the power within you to change whatever you need to and there is lots of support there to help you to make it happen. Don’t live a life of regret. Live a life of passion!

How do women most sabotage themselves?

Women fail to acknowledge their own worth. We don’t value our places, not only in our families but also in society. We shrug off compliments and accolades as if they are not warranted instead of embracing them for what they are. We never put ourselves first, which often leads us to a midlife crisis where we question everything about our lives. If we just lived our life with purpose and passion from the start we wouldn’t be looking for that missing piece later in life.

What famous women do you most admire?

I admire any woman who is embracing her life but if I had to pick someone famous I guess it would be Oprah Winfrey. She created an amazing world around her passion and gives back to the world.

Do you have a mentor?

I don’t have one particular mentor but am continuously inspired by people, including Wayne Dyer and Eckhart Tolle, as well as my two beautiful daughters who have grown into amazing young women who inspire me every day.