Are You Cordial With Your Ex’s Significant Other?

Jennifer Aniston had no reason on earth to be cordial to Angelina Jolie. After all, AJ had an affair with Brad while he was still married to JA. But many of you are cordial, even friends, with your ex’s significant other, for a range of really good reasons. Of course, some of you aren’t big buds, and your reasons are just as good!

“Yes, maybe not at first, but because of our situation at the time, she took care of him when he got sick. But the more time we spent on visits, we got to know each other. She was not the cause of our divorce. He died five years ago, and she and I are still friends.”
Barbara J. Novakowski

“Yes, I have a very cordial relationship with her. She was not the cause of our breakup, and she has been very nice to my daughter. When my husband and I moved to a town near them, we went to dinner with them and enjoyed it. My daughter was freaked out! We are not best buddies, but there is no point in animosity.”
Nancy Fahey McCune

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Gay Divorcée Or Made For Marriage?

It’s pretty safe to say that many divorced FOFs aren’t interested in remarrying. Living with someone?  Perhaps. But only if they still can enjoy their independence.

“Never say never,” advise others, who have found their soulmates and expect to live happily ever after!

I couldn’t start over. It would be too tough.”
Myrna Barajas Cardenas

I’m 60 and like being active. He would need to run, cycle, swim, row, sail and hike, like wine and, of course, be Vegan, also like dogs. If there are any such men out there lol.”
Janice Marshall

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Are You Friends With Your Ex?

Just because he’s your ex doesn’t always mean you have to ex-cise him from your life. One FOF wrote that she now gets along better with her former husband than when she was married to him! We love these responses to our question: Are you friends with your ex?

“Yes, we made it work for the kids. Attended bday parties, shared xmas with ex and our spouses. Made a huge difference for the stability of our kids.”

Jean Farrell

“I was married to my husband for 21 years when we finally decided it was time to divorce. Our kids were 21 and 16 at the time. Instead of taking the traditional route of two attorneys, we did mediation. It is a completely different process when you sit across from the father of your children, discussing all aspects of how to end the marriage. We agreed to ‘agree’ to whatever the law said was fair. We didn’t argue about a single issue, even though there was significant financial issues at stake.

“Over four years later and we have very civilized conversations with each other, mostly about our kids. We have on occasion taken our kids to dinner together. They think we’re nuts because we get along better now that we are divorced!”

Joannie Matter

“Tried, but the first one threatened me at a family event because I wouldn’t do what he wanted and the second ex got angry because he thinks it’s unfair that I stopped him from continuing to run the business in my name, for which I never received any compensation for. Guess I give up-never again because I don’t want to be controlled ever again.”

Dorothea Kay

“Friends, sure, but after a while you start to remember WHY he’s an ex.”

Suzanne Houston Nash

“Nope, he was a cheater and controlling.”

Chris Hartzell

“I tolerate and act civilized. Friend? No!!!”

Nancy Hammarstedt

Keep Reading…

12 Heart-Breaking Breakups

“Everyone wants to talk about terrible breakups. Breakups are horrible, they’re relatable, and people do them badly. Everyone has a story of a terrible breakup,” said Liz Tuccillo, writer and producer of Sex And The City.

When we asked you to tell us about YOUR worst breakup, your distressing tales certainly backed up Liz’s wise words.

Oh Lord, do not even get me started!”
Nancy Tremblay

When my husband of five years emptied our bank account, and left me with two babies, no food and no money, at Christmas 1980. My landlord let me stay until Feb 1st rent free. I moved close to family, got a job, and survived. Both girls are college grads and strong women.”
GiGi Hall Rivera

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Are You Friends With Your Ex?

When 20-something Lissa married Bud, who was 23 years her senior, she was his third wife. Bud had five children; four from his first marriage and one from his second. And, he was friendly with both of his former wives, Bonnie and Marjorie, so Lissa became friends with them, too. I even knew them because they’d come to many of the get togethers Lissa and Bud loved to throw for their friends and family.  

Douglas and I haven’t been married for decades, but we’re best friends and love spending time together. My daughter-in-law cooked a birthday dinner for me yesterday, and Douglas joined us.

A young woman I know, who is living apart from her husband,  goes on “dates” with him.

Although animosity often accompanies divorce or separation, who wouldn’t prefer friendship and goodwill with someone you once “loved”?  When young children are involved, they, too, benefit from an amicable relationship between their parents.  Even adult children like to see their parents “together.”

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9 Powerful Divorce Stories

“My husband and I have never considered divorce. Murder sometimes, but never divorce.”
–Dr. Joyce Brothers, psychologist

Although Dr. Brothers and her internist husband, Milton, had rough patches during their union (who doesn’t?!), they remained wedded for 40 years, until Milton died in 1989. But millions of other FOF women gave up on their marriages, many for substantial reasons.

When we asked divorced women when their marriages ended, why they ended, and what’s happening with them today, one issue seemed to crop up over and over: Cheating husbands. These stories are hard to read, but it’s nice to see how some of you came out on the other side.

“I left him in 1989, but actually divorced in 2001. This was after years of mental, emotional, physical, sexual, and drug abuse.

Everything started out sweetly enough, and somewhat innocently as runaway high school sweethearts. But reality set in and economics prevailed and so did adolescent rebellion, with drug and sexual experimentation. Add together with his allergy to work ethics and his propensity towards aggression and domination and my submission to prostitution. The situation went downhill, complemented with quite a few kicks, punches and curse words. After about 20 years of such existence, I left, and executed the divorce papers myself. Then I married a recovering alcoholic and drug user, who accidentally killed himself by falling down the basement steps after I left him.

I am now over 5 years sober and sharing living expenses with my daughter and her family in a nice home and living a fairly normal life. I’m also completing my college degree in psychology after retiring on disability from the highway department and the construction Industry. I am planning on perhaps doing some part time counseling in drug or domestic violence fields. Since I have practical experience! So far I have about 66 college credits! That’s what’s up with me today.”

Keep Reading…

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For Divorced Women Only!

Baby boomers have been divorcing in unprecedented numbers for years, and we don’t seem to be letting up as we age. The divorce rate for 55- to 64-year-olds more than doubled from 1990 to 2012, while divorces for the over-65 crowd tripled, according to Bowling Green’s National Center for Family & Marriage Research.

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Hands-On Dads: Some Who Were And Some Who Weren’t!

 There’s nothing better than experiencing the highs and lows of parenthood with someone you love and trust. Some dads lighten the load by doing simple, but essential, daily tasks, such as changing diapers or preparing bottles.  Others go the extra mile to make sure that mom and child are happy. Then, there are a few who do, well, nothing at all!

We asked if your husband was a hands-on parent “back in the day.”  Here are some of our favorite answers.

“Beautifully so. He would go down the sledding hill with our daughters, dance with them, help them with homework, tea parties, baking & decorating, shopping…he was and is a fantastic father. (and don’t even get me started on his skills as a grandpa).” Paulette Greyn

“He thought he was since he would change diapers as needed and would sit and feed a bottle if he was watching TV…everything else from putting them to bed, supervising homework, picking up…not so much.” Julie Mattison

“Yeah Keith! Not to mention enduring sleep overs and many ball games with the video camera rolling.” Penny Beard

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When A Woman Loves A Man…For 41 Years

Catherine and Jerry met 41 years ago and married three months later. Catherine reveals two statements they learned they had to say to help hold it all together.

FabOverFifty When and where did you meet?

Catherine: We met at the Madison Avenue offices of Young and Rubicam (an ad agency) in September of 1975.

How did you meet?

Jerry had the office across from my brother Bud. I was visiting Bud as I was between appointments and it was a very rainy day in Manhattan and I needed to use his office phone. Jerry came strolling down the hall, returning from lunch, and Bud made the introduction. He invited me into his office, where we struck up some interesting conversation which I was convinced would lead to date. But, it didn’t. When he didn’t call me, I checked in with Bud to find out why. As it happened, I was wearing a family diamond ring on my right hand the day I met Jerry. Not knowing that was NOT the engagement ring finger, Jerry thought I was engaged. Bud cleared up that mistake.  Jerry followed by calling my answering machine and invited me on a date.

How old are you?

65

How long have you been married?

40 years

Tell us about your career.

I work in the housewares industry and have for almost 45 years. My job is wonderfully diverse: I do sales and marketing along with product development for manufactures in the home products industry. My specific concentration is on the large retailer Bed Bath and Beyond.

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When A Man Loves A Woman…For 41 Years

Catherine and Jerry met 41 years ago and married three months later. Jerry tells what happened “on or about” year 18 of their marriage. He also reveals the most important thing Catherine ever taught him.

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