What empty nesters must never say to those who left the nest

He won’t “be back for the summer” anymore.

You may have a little difficulty with your recent graduate out of the house and on his own, but at some point, you’ll need to embrace this new chapter in both of your lives.


Avoiding these questions, when you do have the honor of seeing him or her, will give you a little assistance during this transition and help develop that adult relationship with your darling offspring.

1. “Are you really wearing that?”

By the time she’s reached her 20s, your daughter has developed her own style. She probably doesn’t like your clothes either.


2. “I miss you… Can we be friends on Facebook?”

No. (And if you’ve already coaxed your daughter into being Facebook friends, don’t comment on how ‘hot’ she looks in all her photos.)


3. “Can you empty the dishwasher after you walk the dog?”

Your son didn’t visit home for the weekend to do your chores. At least say “please.”


4. “I was looking through your bookshelf when…”

When what? Why were you doing this?


5. “Do you miss home?”

Translation: “I am miserable with you gone. Any chance you’ll move back?”

{Video} Were you a “Tiger Mom?”

It’s the year of the “Tiger Mom.”

In January, author Amy Chua released her Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother to both roaring criticism and acclaim. In the book, Amy contrasts the traditional, strict “Chinese” approach of parenting with what she calls the “Western” style of child rearing. She includes vivid anecdotes of the extreme disciplinary tactics she used raising her own children including calling her daughters names, like “lazy” or” garbage,” and even threatening to burn their stuffed animals if they performed below expectations. Some have called her parenting tactics alarming and even abusive. Others have praised her, such as Charles Murray of the American Enterprise Institute, who said that “large numbers of talented children everywhere would profit from Chua’s approach, and instead are frittering away their gifts.”

Whatever you believe, there’s no question the “tiger mom” phenom struck a chord. Here, FOF video bloggers The Boomer Broads ask their own kids, “Was I tiger mom? Should I have been?”

Tell us, were you a “Tiger Mom”?