FOFs rollicking in Toyland

I didn’t start playing with toys until I was FOF. Yep, but these toys aren’t Barbie and her “Dream House.” They’re vibrators, dildos and various other sexual stimulators to pump up my sex life, literally and figuratively. I promise you, they’re as much fun for me now as my mini kitchen was when I was 10.

I read that one of the first vibrators was invented in France in the 1700s (you can always count on the French when it comes to romance.) The American company, Hamilton Beach, patented the first electric vibrator available for consumers in 1902, making it the fifth domestic appliance to be electrified, after the sewing machine, fan, tea kettle, and toaster. As a matter of fact, the electric vibrator predated the vacuum cleaner and electric iron by about a decade (I guess that’s when women really stopped having fun.)

The reason why this simple device has stood the test of time is simple: It works. It stimulates the right parts of our body in ways that fingers, hands, tongues, and even penises, can’t always do. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. How is it any different than using a sewing machine to stitch together fabric faster and better than your fingers? If it makes the process more enjoyable, go for it.

Most sex toys are quite reasonably priced, so you can experiment with different styles and functions. You might find that a rabbit-style vibrator (for stimulating the clitoris and vagina simultaneously) is more effective than a bullet shape vibrator one week but that the opposite is true another time. Variety is definitely the spice of life when it comes to sex toys.

These toys also take some of the pressure off your partner to fully satisfy you, which comes in mighty handy when you’re feeling in the mood but your better half is having some issues. And if he hasn’t used any of the toys made expressly for men, why not think about getting him one to try on for size (again, literally and figuratively!) There are rings to help keep his penis erect, devices to help him satisfy himself and penis pumps that do just what their name implies.

“I couldn’t get him to put it down,” Fran told us when we interviewed her about her husband, Patrick’s, experience with the Sinclair penis pump. “I actually had to grab it away from him to keep him from hurting himself. The instructions say not to use it for more than 30 consecutive minutes if you have issues with your heart,” she said.

It doesn’t matter whether you even have a partner when you use many sex toys.

I also recommend having a lubricant in your nightstand at all times, to assure that everything that should be moist is moist. There are scads of lubricants on the market, but just make sure the one you choose is completely free of petro-chemicals and parabens, which have been proven to be harmful to our body’s delicate tissue.

I’m pleased to tell you that our friends at Sinclair Institute are offering FOFs 40 percent off anything you order from their site, through August 31. And that’s on top of the low prices in Sinclair’s current blowout sale that runs through tomorrow/Friday the 26th. That makes great prices even more spectacular.

I urge you to start playing with toys. Feel like a kid again, at least a 30-year-old kid.


Enter code 40FOF at checkout for your 40 percent off.

*Photo source: